ASD/Aspergers as an adult

[Blaziken]

Has anyone come to the realisation as an adult that they are on the spectrum? I have thought this about myself for years. Recently, I have done some deeper research and am now absolutely sure.

Did you get a diagnosis? Is there any point? I think it would help me but I'm a bit scared to pursue it to be honest.

I was diagnosed at 26 back in 2018.

I started looking into autism to support a young boy I worked with when I came across how girls present different and it made me realise that I was autistic. I spoke to my mum who admitted she had always suspected something but whenever she tried to get support for me she was brushed off. So I approached my GP with the information on who to refer me to because I googled it and he referred me. I had 1 session with my mum and was diagnosed in less than an hour its so obvious

It was a massive relief to finally understand myself and why I always felt different and why life has been so difficult for me to cope with.

Oh wow, that actually sounds easier than I expected. I have read that it can be difficult to be taken seriously unless you have real problems living your life (I don't really, I look like I function well even though I don't feel like it).

Also read that you have to take someone along that has known you all your life. My mum died last year and there is no way my dad would do it. Can it still be done without someone else?

I had a friend who has known me nearly 20 years. Dad dead. Mum in care home. Still got a diagnosis.

Thanks both. Was this on the NHS? My husband could come with me (has known me 20 years). Although, I think he is on the spectrum too so might not be the best person to ask about my issues

It's not necessary to take someone with you, it just makes the process easier.
I was incredibly lucky with where I live I think, thats why it was so easy.
My diagnosis was on the NHS but I was referred to a private clinic via the NHS.

Do you feel getting a disgnosis helped you? I'm not really sure what I want from it. I suspect "I just want to know" will get me laughed out of the surgery.

Thats exactly how I felt. I just needed to know for sure. I needed answers as to why I'd been so weird all my life.
Its helped massively and opened the door for support which I wouldn't have had otherwise. So when I was able to work, I worked in a nursery. My reasonable adjustments were to keep me in the same room instead of me having to cover in other rooms, I didn't have to do any cooking if the chef was off as that panicked me in case I messed up and I was allowed to take my break at the same time every day as I thrive off routine.

I started to be sure at the age of 19. On one of my many Wikipedia binges, I stumbled across a historical figure who is suspected nowadays to have Asperger Syndrome (I am wary of posthumous diagnosis, but there you go). I clicked on the page for Asperger Syndrome and there it all was: the criteria I had experienced all my life. The reason I felt like I was somehow set apart from everyone else.

Getting a diagnosis was very difficult because for some reason, the GPs were reluctant to refer me. It was actually a locum GP who did it for me. Though it was to a private psychiatrist. I was diagnosed very quickly from there, though. I was 26 years old. My DH (who also has autism) went with me.

It has allowed me to access some support. Things are certainly better with a diagnosis than without one. I won't say that ALL my problems are solved, but life is much easier. One of the best things I ever did.

Being referred to a private clinic via the NHS as HerRoyalRisesAgain says might be the usual procedure for adult diagnoses. The same happened to me.

You can’t say you’re on the spectrum unless you’ve been diagnosed by a professional.
Having said that, Diagnosis has made fuck all difference to my life. My life didn’t suddenly magically become easier.
I was assessed on my own. I didn’t need any family members there for a diagnosis.

Wikipedia binge - one of my favourite activities!

Hmm, there is a private clinic near me. I can afford it but for some reason it seems scary.

What support have you accessed? I'm not sure if I could get anything as I manage at work (programmer - ticking those boxes!) and in life, it's just exhausting and I burn out easily. I have been to the GP about my coping issues before but I just get medicated for anxiety and depression.

@CuteGirlsWatchMeEatEther

You can’t say you’re on the spectrum unless you’ve been diagnosed by a professional. Having said that, Diagnosis has made fuck all difference to my life. My life didn’t suddenly magically become easier. I was assessed on my own. I didn’t need any family members there for a diagnosis.

That's what I would like to be able to do - tell people I'm on the spectrum so reasonable adjustments can be made. I wouldn't do it without a diagnosis.

I am watching with interest.

We are considering going privately to get our DS assessed as we have already been waiting two years thanks to Covid. Going through the process with DS makes me believe I may have ASD/ADD. I wouldn't have ever considered getting myself diagnosed, I am managing day to day life. I have a job and a family, but I do struggle with feeling overwhelmed by what I think should be simple things. I'm considering getting myself assessed too if we are having to pay for DS, I might as well pay to get myself assessed too.

I just don't know what, if anything it will help with, other than getting work to cut me some slack sometimes.

@ACNHMAMA

I am watching with interest.

We are considering going privately to get our DS assessed as we have already been waiting two years thanks to Covid. Going through the process with DS makes me believe I may have ASD/ADD. I wouldn't have ever considered getting myself diagnosed, I am managing day to day life. I have a job and a family, but I do struggle with feeling overwhelmed by what I think should be simple things. I'm considering getting myself assessed too if we are having to pay for DS, I might as well pay to get myself assessed too.

I just don't know what, if anything it will help with, other than getting work to cut me some slack sometimes.

I've seen a few people say they realised after having a child in the process. One of my DC is possibly showing some traits but I can't be sure and she is very young.

I don't know what it will help with either, but work cutting me some slack would be great. I have a very understanding boss but I live in fear of having to switch to a different team to work with new people. People scare me. I'm feeling a bit deflated about the fact that I can't learn social skills.

I think you can definitely identify as being autistic, even without the formal diagnosis. I think I am, and my psychologist thinks I am too. I just need to go down the formal and expensive route.
My son was diagnosed and this led me to think about my own life.
Do you you find anything difficult?
I find socialising in groups taxing. I'm much better one on one and I love routine too.

Well, Covid has put paid to most of it for now. However, I've been able to join with the autism support groups in the area. For someone with few social ties, this means a great deal. I have access to information on how to make my own life easier, such as keeping ear plugs/ear defenders and prescription sunglasses on my person at all times. Yes, I realise that this is hardly a revelation to some people, but it genuinely didn't occur to me until then!

Theoretically, I'm eligible for PIP, help for filling in the forms and the job application process and interviews (I can and do work voluntarily, but no one seems keen to hire me for paid work because I'm so socially awkward in interviews), but the waiting list for that is very long - I live in an area where such services are in demand. I can also learn to drive with the help of a school who specialises in teaching adults with special needs; including but not limited to autism.

Overall, I can live as an adult now, rather than exist as an outgrown version of a dependent, frightened child. I feel worth as an individual, rather than being my husband and parent's burden.

Things I find difficult:
Most social situations. I have a couple of very good friends but in a larger group I shut down. Can't do small talk, it baffles me and people think I'm odd. I hide behind sunglasses so I don't have to look at people.

I can mask this things with people I know a bit better but it is exhausting. I need a break from people for a few days after socialising with people I don't know well. I was bullied in school and found it difficult to keep friends. Could never understand what I had done wrong.

I was diagnosed at 33, after my daughter was diagnosed age 3. It was looking into aspergers/ Asd in girls to help her that I saw my entire childhood and adolescent experience laid out in front of me in text format. For me having a diagnosis has helped me to accept myself more and to be kinder to myself if I am getting overwhelmed for example. It also means that I don't doubt it, if that makes sense. A professional saw thensame signs as I did and agreed that I am autistic. Nothing has changed for me and who I am, but equally I do not need "fixing".

I'm in my 50's and was assessed and diagnosed a few years ago.

I'd raised the subject several times with my GP but she refused to refer me. A non-related appointment with an NHS consultant resulted in him sending a letter to my GP telling her she must refer me.

The difference to my life is mainly work related, having 'reasonable adjustments' that make a massive difference. I'm still the same person, with the same quirks and differences, but I have a much greater understanding of myself and as a result, I'm kinder to myself. My DH has also learnt a lot too which has made a positive difference.

ps - As the NHS waiting list for an ASD assessment was around 2 years in my area, I paid for a private assessment. I spoke with my GP about being removed from the NHS waiting list, but she encouraged me to stay on the list so that I could get further support from the NHS, if available. However, there's been zero 'further support' from the NHS other than a 2nd diagnosis.

For anyone living in Wales, it’s worth knowing that the Welsh Government launched the Integrated Autism Service a few years ago. They can help with diagnosis and provide support. If you want them to, they’ll also produce a report for your employer on what adjustments you may need. I’m pretty sure you can self refer.

I’m not autistic myself, but my DH is and he’s found getting a diagnosis life changing. It’s completely changed how he thinks about himself.

If you have any concerns about your work situation, it’s 100% worth getting a diagnosis as it will give you a certain level of legal protection.

You might like to read through this thread too OP,

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a4309176-To-ask-what-its-like-to-be-neurodiverse?msgid=109547930

I felt validated when I got mine last year at 50. I'm not just shit at life, there's good reason why I struggle with some stuff.

I got a diagnosis at 50. Hands down, the best thing I ever did! I had suspected it for some time (friends who had experience with ASD had mentioned it).

Was being treated for depression/anxiety and GP suddenly decided to send me to a gateway worker as he thought I was bipolar. At the end of the session the gateway worker suggested ASD and referred me on. Took two years but worth it.

I would say that, whilst they don't use the word 'Asperger's' in diagnosing it now, it is easier to tell people it's Asperger's rather than ASD.

Go for it!

@Mabelface

I felt validated when I got mine last year at 50. I'm not just shit at life, there's good reason why I struggle with some stuff.

You just put my entire post far more succinctly