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How to address enlarged testicles with FWB?!

59 replies

selflove · 02/10/2021 08:52

I've been seeing a bloke for a while. He's not particularly nice tbh, and I'm going to end it, I was just keeping him there to see occasionally when I got bored etc.

We've mostly had sex in the dark. I do remember thinking his testicles were larger than other blokes I've seen but didn't think that much of it as
a) I haven't seen that many blokes naked, and just assumed they're all different and come in different sizes like women to
b) it's been 3+ years since I was with anyone before him, so tbh was thinking I probably don't accurately remember what most testicles look like anyway.

I'd tried to touch/stroke his balls once or twice early on during blow jobs etc, and he removed my hands away both times so I assumed he didn't like them touched, and was a bit sensitive about the fact they were large or something.

SO, we had sex last night. It wasn't dark. I went to give him a blow job and JESUS CHRIST his testicles (particularly his right one) was absolutely huge. Honestly bigger than if I put both my hands into fists next to each other. It dwarfed his cock. I'm pretty positive that can't be normal. I dot remember then being as massive as that before. So, do I text him?! And tell him they don't look normal and to get himself checked? And if so, how do I even word such a text?! Keeping in mind I was literally about to end things, so I can't word it like "it's because I care about you..." etc

OP posts:
scarpa · 02/10/2021 14:28

@Jarstastic

If he’s not a nice person why are you rewarding him with a BJ?
Sex isn't a reward?

And you can have good sex with someone you don't think is an excellent person.

HTH

Neonplant · 02/10/2021 14:59

I think he knows its a problem. Just don't see him again.

SylvanasWindrunner · 02/10/2021 15:18

This reminds me of Cold Feet when Adam has a ONS and she notices one of his testicles is an odd shape and turns out he has cancer! I've been rewatching them all and just reached that bit so it's fresh in my mind!

I don't know - if they're really that large then surely he's aware? But then men can be pretty crap at self-checking or seeing doctors, so who knows?

Honestly if you're ending it anyway then I'd just say something. Worst case scenario he knows, is offended and doesn't want to see you again. Or maybe that's the best case scenario!

Somanysocks · 02/10/2021 15:28

Everybody needs a bollock for a pillow Grin

Blackkoala · 02/10/2021 15:29

‘Dear X. I don’t think this relationship is going anywhere, so I think we should end things. Before I go I wanted to raise the fact that your testicles seem very swollen. This can be an early indicator of things like testicular cancer so I think you should see your GP.

All the best’

Then block

Blackkoala · 02/10/2021 15:30

@Somanysocks

Everybody needs a bollock for a pillow Grin
🤣
Mumoblue · 02/10/2021 15:33

I might be misremembering but I’ve heard that swelling of the testicles can be a sign of chlamydia? Hmm

BobbyMcGeeAndMe · 02/10/2021 16:07

Has he had the covid jab recently and does he have a cousin called Nicky?

Mariell · 02/10/2021 16:19

All jokes aside, why are you putting something in your mouth that is attached to something that may well be diseased?

Suprima · 02/10/2021 16:26

@Happylittlethoughts

Why did I think we were past judging women for having sex?! Wisen up ! As far as the swollen testicle I'd probably leave,it. Clues are there that's he's aware and not attempting to communicate about it.
No one’s judging her for having sex Hmm

It’s just
A) she’s having sex with a man who isn’t nice to her
B) despite the above, can’t say ‘oh you appear to have a swelling or cyst’

OP- I would delete his number and find someone nice who you don’t have to mummy with ‘oh you should see a doctor’. Not your fucking problem

Polmuggle · 02/10/2021 16:27

@HollowTalk

I agree with *@userxx*. Why would you do that to somebody you dislike?!
You do both realise that women can enjoy giving blow jobs? It's not a chore to be used to reward 'nice' men Grin
Suprima · 02/10/2021 16:29

@scarpa - she’s said he’s not very nice, not that he isn’t an ‘excellent person’

What kind of strange libfem planet are we on if we are holding up sucking off horrible men with testicular issues as some sort of bold feminist stance? Grin

OP needs to find someone with a better personality and no dodgy balls (no I don’t care if the roles were reversed)

MyMabel · 02/10/2021 16:31

I like big balls and I cannot lie
You other brothers can’t deny
When a bloke walk in with testicular grace
And those huge things in your face..

On that note, I would be pretty open about it, your had his dick in your mouth I’m sure you can freely mention his bollock size without offence.

MurielSpriggs · 02/10/2021 16:36

He knows! I wouldn't say anything.

And why can't someone ask a question about sex on Mumsnet without a whole load of pearl-clutching judgment? Let her do her thing.

burritofan · 02/10/2021 16:39

Perhaps they inflated when you blew him

MurielSpriggs · 02/10/2021 16:39

You do both realise that women can enjoy giving blow jobs? It's not a chore to be used to reward 'nice' men grin

Exactly this! And by far the more important question is whether she gets off on it. If she doesn't then she shouldn't be doing it to nice blokes either.

MurielSpriggs · 02/10/2021 16:41

@burritofan

Perhaps they inflated when you blew him
😆 When I was much younger I spent some time confused about whether sucking off was the same as a blowjob.
Happylittlethoughts · 02/10/2021 16:50

Well Suprima..I think these comments are judgemental and certainly in no way will make her feel better. A vomit face !?? Like she's done something disgusting

How to address enlarged testicles with FWB?!
PearLime · 02/10/2021 16:54

@Jarstastic

If he’s not a nice person why are you rewarding him with a BJ?
So much judgment here!

A BJ isn't a "reward", lol! I assume OP gave him a BJ because she fucking well wanted to!

She has since decided she doesn't like him that much and is now giving him and his massive bollocks the old heave ho!

Suprima · 02/10/2021 16:57

@Happylittlethoughts

Well Suprima..I think these comments are judgemental and certainly in no way will make her feel better. A vomit face !?? Like she's done something disgusting
I think the key is ‘someone you don’t like’ not the blowjob bit…
EarringsandLipstick · 02/10/2021 17:07

I was just keeping him there to see occasionally when I got bored etc.

I think this is a horrible thing to say.

End it. Don't mention his testicles - he is a grown man & can sort it out himself.

Lorw · 02/10/2021 17:14

@MyMabel

I like big balls and I cannot lie You other brothers can’t deny When a bloke walk in with testicular grace And those huge things in your face..

On that note, I would be pretty open about it, your had his dick in your mouth I’m sure you can freely mention his bollock size without offence.

Brilliant Grin
Mariell · 02/10/2021 17:47

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/stage/2018/sep/06/my-testicle-was-so-big-you-could-play-like-bongo

Why don’t you surprise him with your percussion skills next time you see him?

scarpa · 02/10/2021 19:18

[quote Suprima]@scarpa - she’s said he’s not very nice, not that he isn’t an ‘excellent person’

What kind of strange libfem planet are we on if we are holding up sucking off horrible men with testicular issues as some sort of bold feminist stance? Grin

OP needs to find someone with a better personality and no dodgy balls (no I don’t care if the roles were reversed)[/quote]
AHA well no, I don't think it's a radical act of feminism to suck off a total bastard, but I've definitely shagged people I wouldn't rush to spend a whole evening with and had a great time, and assuming I'm happy to shag them generally I'm not going to have a mental two-tier list - blowjobs for the ones who donate to the dog's home, missionary in the dark* for anyone who doesn't buy a Big Issue Grin

But you're right, bad personality AND refusal to discuss spacehopper balls would definitely mean I was out!

*no offence to missionary in the dark - horses for courses Wink

MrsDThomas · 02/10/2021 19:23

The last thing id want is a dick in my mouth belonging to someone not nice.

Jeez. 🤢

If your open enough to do whatever with him, surely telling him about his balls is easy

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