As a female do you have the courage to walk alone in the dark?

[Vaccine001]

I have done so but rarely. It has always terrified me. What if i akways think to myself..

Pre covid I would have to walk home in the dark if I finished work anytime after 4pm in the winter. But I am always scared. I stop walking to anyone behind me will overtake me, I hate anyone speaking to me, it's terrifying.

@MissTrip82

I’m a shift worker who uses public transport and i have travelled and lived independently all over the world. It’s simply not an option for me not to.

I also have a good understanding that the bulk of any woman’s risk of physical harm actually comes from the home. I think those who try to convince us that our biggest risk is out in the world have a clear agenda. It’s not about safety, it’s about control.

This is so true. 2 women a week are killed by a partner or former partner in the UK. Way way more than are attacked by a stranger on a dark street. Our focus should be choosing partners very carefully

I do if it is on roads with street lighting or my own road and those adjacent that are very familiar to me. Tbh I don't often have to walk in the dark where there are no lights these days

I do go out in the dark, but not unconditionally.

I'll walk home from a night out if I'm with my friend who lives nearby - only a two minute walk away from me, on a lit 24/7 main road.

I'll walk by myself in the dark in the late afternoon/early evening. Probably not after 8pm. My route home from work goes through a rough bit of town and the atmosphere changes totally after 7pm, which is my preferred cut off time.

Ideally, my preferred choice of in the dark transport is a bike: no drink drive limit; no risk of a creepy cab driver; very very limited risk of being followed home; easy to speed up without making it clear you're running scared; can usually park it within 50 yards of wherever you're going, so no back to the car risk; you're a moving target for anyone looking for trouble, and ultimately with these things you just need to be more difficult to attack than another person would be. The only difficulty is time taken to get my bike unlocked - I've had some unpleasant experiences during those 30s-1min. If I'm out with any men, or a group of girls going off together I ask them to wait for that part.

Maybe it is overkill. But I've been cat called walking down the street in leggings, dress and s kagoule. I've been groped in bars. And I've had men proposition me. The likelihood of anything actually terrible happening while I walk home is very low. The likelihood of something moderately annoying and grim happening that leaves me spending the entire walk in a state of paranoia is pretty high. So my precautions seen reasonable to me.

@MattyGroves

*If I go on a date, it will be in a restaurant or public place, and to be honest most men have offered to walk me to my car. I don't decline.

It's not great that I have to take these measures, and I do agree I shouldn't have to. But I choose to, to keep myself safe because men can't be trusted.*

Why trust someone you're on a date with then?

I don't use online dating, so the men I'm usually dating are known to me in some capacity, colleagues, friends, men I have worked with but not same employer, child's sporting coach, men I went to school with and knew, know their families. I tend to have known them a while generally.

I did try online dating before but found it just awful, the constant texting then an awkward date or no shows or just men playing away. Decided it wasn't for me 😂

@MissTrip82

I’m a shift worker who uses public transport and i have travelled and lived independently all over the world. It’s simply not an option for me not to.

I also have a good understanding that the bulk of any woman’s risk of physical harm actually comes from the home. I think those who try to convince us that our biggest risk is out in the world have a clear agenda. It’s not about safety, it’s about control.

I agree. I posted a BBC article upthread.

Of women killed by violence in the UK, 70% were killed at home.

@storkstalk

No, never

I can’t imagine this but maybe it’s location dependent

It’d be very hard to avoid in London where you don’t often drive to work

Yes, I live in London and I often run late at night and walk back from the train late on my own.

I cannot imagine not doing this.

No

Yes. I wouldn't be able to get home from work or to and from the supermarket if I didn't walk in the dark at 5 or 6pm in the winter. I also walk from the bus stop to home after an evening out or weekend away etc. It's a five minute walk down a residential road in a city suburb, and used as a short cut between two main roads, so has some traffic/isn't deserted even late at night.

I live in London, but 2 minutes from a zone two tube station. I do walk alone in say Soho for example but if getting the tube home at night I will get my husband to meet me at the tube stop. I thought this was excessive maybe but better safe than sorry and am now glad I have done this.

Sorry that was in response to @MarshaBradyo

@storkstalk

Sorry that was in response to *@MarshaBradyo*

Would you get him to meet you in winter? Say 4.30pm

I can’t imagine it

I used to run home from work Battersea to home zone 2 other side. I’d avoid Battersea Park but otherwise loads of people walking it even running.

Out alone as pedestrian in the dark (or running) All the time. Grew up in a big city with lots of crime where I was out by myself all the time, too. Now live in a sleepy country place. People don't even lock their cars & doors here.

I think it depends on the place and the situation.

Sometimes I'm fine walking alone in the dark, other times I don't feel safe walking alone in daylight.

I've been followed and harassed by a man when I've been alone in daylight in a busy town centre. People could see him following me, heard him shouting at me, nobody helped.

And I've had a man come at me at night when I was only going a few steps from a shop door to my car parked directly outside it.

But I've also walked home late at night or in the dark in winter and been fine and felt safe. I feel that ultimately, you have to make a judgement every time as to how safe or unsafe you might feel in any situation.

It's unfortunate that no matter what you do, if someone attacks you then other people will blame you for your choice rather than blame your attacker.

I used to have no choice (early start at work). Even now, I walk the streets at the silly hours to try and get away from my thoughts.

I walk alone in the dark but I don’t think I’m being brave. I think living in an area which I perceive as ‘safe’ means I take risks I wouldn’t take elsewhere.

Depends where. I would walk in areas I felt were risky in the dark, but equally, anywhere I felt unsafe for me I also wouldn’t want my DP to walk alone in. It’s not a ‘female’ thing to me, it’s just common sense which applies to men too. Never take a risk.

I'll have to say that in all this I'm a little annoyed by the 'All women live in constant fear of men and are too scared to go out alone have to constantly alter their plans to stave off the danger' as I've never felt that way.

But I totally acknowledge I seem to have been very lucky and clearly it is a very real problem and fear for a lot of women - I used to think other women were being silly and I was 'not like the other girls' but I have listened enough to realise I was being a tosser about it and clearly it's a massive issue. I just happened to have experienced very little harrassment, nothing scary has happened to me at night or in a club or bar etc in the way it obviously has to many, maybe most, others. I travelled around London plenty on my own at night when younger.

I mean I use my common sense, I wouldn't walk alone across an industrial estate or area totally empty of houses late at night, but that's not being a woman, that's just about being cautious as a human being, and that's the same message I'd give to my oldest. I'm not going to tell her the world is utterly terrifying for women, but I will give her advice to stay safe as a human being, the same as I'll give to her brother.

I always used to and mostly felt fine but lately there's been people stabbing each other etc. in my direct neighbourhood and it's really changed how I feel. I don't want DH out alone at night now either. (He thinks I'm being daft though )

I've always gone about after dark alone. No issues whatsoever with it. Yes there's horrible people about but they are rare thankfully and I'm not going to be imprisoned after dark because of my sex

I should add that I don't drive so don't have many options. I hate being afraid, I feel angry that it's come to that.

I’m feel similar to pp and not ready to accept that a self imposed curfew is right. I’ve been pretty free all through twenties to late forties but this thread is an eye opener.

Many times over the years. Areas with lots of people and/or really well-lit.

I have been assaulted a few times, I will not let those experiences stop me living my bloody life though. That would be them winning.