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Original poster

What do you do with kids between school pick up and bedtime? It seems to last FOREVER

59 replies

CouldWeStartAgainPlease · 29/09/2021 19:52

This is probably my terrible parenting shining through, but what on earth do you do with your young children between 3pm and bedtime?

My children are 5 (primary 1) and 3 (school nursery) and approaching the end of their first term. We live 20 seconds from the school so by 3pm each day they are home.

They're tired so I let them veg out a bit, and have a snack. We have our dinner at some point and go up to start bedtime about 7ish.

I've usually been working during the day so I'm trying to get washing, dinner, etc done. It feels too late to actually go anywhere, plus we're tired and I need to do stuff.

Everyone ends up fed up and bickering with one another, any every hour seems to drag by... Why are these hours so much harder than any other 5 hours earlier in the day? They don't want to play, or go anywhere or do anything Confused

It's weird. Am I alone in this?

I'm about to have a baby and the thought of adding the witching hour into this atmosphere is not appealing....

OP posts:
MinesAPintOfTea · 29/09/2021 19:55

There’s a park close to school, so unless it’s raining 30-60mins on the park with friends. Then home, an hour of screen time, dinner, bath, homework/lego/a board game/reading together on the sofa in pjs. Then need.

Daisy829 · 29/09/2021 19:55

I think we put ourselves under too much pressure to ‘do stuff’ with the kids all the time. They will be tired mentally & physically after school at such young ages I would just let them chill out, play with their toys. You don’t need to entertain them all of the time.
We tend to just watch tv, play with toys, sometimes I have errands to run & they will come with me, homework if needed but we don’t do anything very exciting to be honest.

MinesAPintOfTea · 29/09/2021 19:55
  • then bed!

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DressedUpAtAnIvy · 29/09/2021 19:56

We go to the park or the library on the way home from school, otherwise it’s too long at home. Then bath and dinner, and a bit of TV after that.

Jasmine11 · 29/09/2021 19:58

After school I usually stick a film on as I'm still working, then we have dinner around 5:30 and afterwards go for a walk/playground for an hour or so. By the time we get home it's time for bath/bed and they are completely tired out :)

Original poster
CouldWeStartAgainPlease · 29/09/2021 20:00

I'd love for them to play with their toys but I'm finding they're not managing much independent play during that time, either through tiredness or just wanting to see me after a day at school. If I try to encourage them to play they last 30 seconds before whining at me to join or trying to interfere with what I'm doing or clambering on me etc.

Leaving them to their own devices leads to them fighting/wrestling/breaking something/crying much more than usual.

TV and screens they can do for a bit but they get fed up.

It's probably all normal and maybe we all just need to get into the groove of it, but gosh I find it really hard going!

OP posts:
Bluebleu · 29/09/2021 20:00

A great thread - watching with interest. I thought it was just me who felt like this! I need some after school inspiration.

Original poster
CouldWeStartAgainPlease · 29/09/2021 20:01

Library/playground could work some evenings just to break up the week.

I've been very debilitated with pelvic pain so haven't been taking them anywhere really. Also, psychologically 3pm feels like too late to go anywhere, even though that's clearly not true...

OP posts:
Kljnmw3459 · 29/09/2021 20:02

Following this for some good advice, I have the same problem! It's so difficult to find a routine that works when we're all so tired after school and work.

CookPassBabtridge · 29/09/2021 20:02

We just let them veg and relax after their busy day.

FreshApricot · 29/09/2021 20:03

Totally feel like this and mine is so tired and cranky I've had to bring bedtime forward to 6pm on weekdays (dc is 4)! Goes straight to sleep as well...

ADialgaAteMyDog · 29/09/2021 20:05

I guess it's hard as yours sound so tired, but I try to stay out as long as possible, this could be just going round the shop to avoid going home.
Would they be interested in invitations to play or some craft? Mine have been doing play dough since we got back from a run around in the field which has been peaceful! Good luck!

bekindbekindbekind · 29/09/2021 20:05

Can you try joining them in their play with toys for the first 10-15 min or so? Just sit with them. Sometimes that's all that's needed and after that you can go deal with some housework that needs doing and they still happily continue playing? I realise all kids are very different of course x

Nuttymonkey · 29/09/2021 20:08

Have you tried playdough for this time of day? Might be good for 30 mins or so respite... Or stickers/low key crafts, paint an ornament type thing. Mine have always been super crabby after school especially up to about age 7, and then they just want snacks and screen time after age 8!

Charles11 · 29/09/2021 20:08

Do you have a garden?
Spend a little time playing something with them and see if they carry on without you.
Get them doing an activity like play doh or cutting and sticking
Once they’ve had a bit of a runaround and done something that requires some mental engagement, they might calmly sit and watch some tv while you get in with stuff.

Original poster
CouldWeStartAgainPlease · 29/09/2021 20:08

Thanks all. Good ideas and I'm secretly glad to know I'm not alone in this as was feeling like a bad parent.

I am guilty of not playing with them properly during those hours so perhaps I need to be better at helping them get settled into a game and get some toys out then leaving them so I can sort the dinner etc.

I really should be taking them to the park as well but it's rammed with bigger kids and so cold and boring... Its my nightmare Grin I need to just suck it up!

OP posts:
myadhdusername · 29/09/2021 20:09

Honestly … nothing

Akire · 29/09/2021 20:10

I’d bring bed time routine forward so if they are having bath they can go in from 6 rather start bath stories and bed at 7. Helps
Fill the time and relaxing down time to the magic moment!

NaturalBlue · 29/09/2021 20:11

This was exactly how I felt until this year. Mine are similar ages, year 2 now, nursery and a baby. It is easier now and I guess we have practiced the routine. We ate home by 3:30. I put tea on, once cooked leave on top of the oven and whip to nursery to get the middle one, baby tags along with everything but is easy to tote along. Home, way straight away because everyone is hungry and the longer we wait the more tired and less likely to eat. Half four kids in playroom with tv on for an hour and depending on the night we all take eldest to club 6-7 (brownies swimming tennis) Whilst she is at club, me and small two go home bath and pyjamas then on to sofa for the last stretch... bed at 7/7:30:8 depending on how tired everyone is. Nights with no clubs were all on the sofa watching a Disney film a little bit earlier and eldest has some reading or homework to fill in a bit of time.

Namechangedforspooky · 29/09/2021 20:11

Netflix and a chocolate biscuit here usually for my 2
Occasional play date for dd1
Some nights they have swimming / dance / rainbows etc

Thebookswereherfriends · 29/09/2021 20:12

As long as the weather is nice my dd goes to the park near school for anything up to an hour - depends how organised I’ve been in getting dinner started etc. Once home she can watch tv for half an hour and then I expect her to entertain herself until dinner time.

Fluffyhairdontcare · 29/09/2021 20:12

I was going to post something very similar after a lot of TV over the last few days. I definitely rely on it too much but do wonder what other children do. We play together for short bursts but I can't manage a whole evening of that. Mine are younger but still seems a tricky time of day!

HarrisMcCoo · 29/09/2021 20:12

Dinner 4pm, watch TV, supper 5.45pm, bath 6pm, stories 6.30pm. asleep 7pm. 6yo and 4yo.

The day just flies in from 3pm!

HarrisMcCoo · 29/09/2021 20:14

6yo has five or ten minutes of homework so we do this around 3.15pm.

OverTheRubicon · 29/09/2021 20:14

On days when I do school pickup, if I go straight home then my 3 end up bickering and agree that the day can feel looong.

Definitely park or library or even to the shops or something. Sometimes I get them to take turns doing their school reading to me while we're at the park, so I can hear while watching the others play.

On days when it's raining or we get home early, I'll often do some jobs like laundry folding or cooking and ask if they want to either help me or play - often they'll therefore play nicely, and I might get a hand too if they're bored Smile

Then usually some lego, reading etc, usually 20-30 mins of TV before dinner, while I try to finish off some work or the cooking. Then clear up together, and bath, teeth, play a bit and read before bed. My oldest is now needing a bit less sleep so sometimes he'll stay up with more for another 30-45 mins and we'll play a boardgame, do a homework.activity, or watch something or play Minecraft together.

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