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Original poster

What do you do with kids between school pick up and bedtime? It seems to last FOREVER

59 replies

CouldWeStartAgainPlease · 29/09/2021 19:52

This is probably my terrible parenting shining through, but what on earth do you do with your young children between 3pm and bedtime?

My children are 5 (primary 1) and 3 (school nursery) and approaching the end of their first term. We live 20 seconds from the school so by 3pm each day they are home.

They're tired so I let them veg out a bit, and have a snack. We have our dinner at some point and go up to start bedtime about 7ish.

I've usually been working during the day so I'm trying to get washing, dinner, etc done. It feels too late to actually go anywhere, plus we're tired and I need to do stuff.

Everyone ends up fed up and bickering with one another, any every hour seems to drag by... Why are these hours so much harder than any other 5 hours earlier in the day? They don't want to play, or go anywhere or do anything Confused

It's weird. Am I alone in this?

I'm about to have a baby and the thought of adding the witching hour into this atmosphere is not appealing....

OP posts:
KimmyKimdoo · 29/09/2021 20:14

Often on a Friday I take them out for a treat, either to cinema, the park and milkshake shop, round to their cousins or to soft play. It depends. Other days:
After school - Quick snack, usually breadsticks and dips/ fruit
Then something crafty: just colouring some days, other days we paint, make paper chains, make a birthday card for someone or play on chalk boards, white boards and pens. Complete any homework (very little due to their young age).
5pm ish throw them in the garden and let them rummage/ play with mud kitchen/ trampoline (unless it’s really bad rain like tonight) in which case skip this and open up the toy box and let them play. Sometimes do a jigsaw puzzle.
6pm ish Serve dinner
After dinner it’s TV time, a film tonight as weather so bad but other nights just a few short episodes of some kids show.
7pm Upstairs and bath, pyjamas on, playing in rooms. Reading together and bed.

traumatisednoodle · 29/09/2021 20:15

As others have said; library one night, swimming another, we used to go to a roller disco but they were a bit older then. IF nothing else planned and not pouring then always go to the park. If I were a different kind of mother we might have done some crafts, we occasionally got the paints out......The reception age child (5yo) should really be doing reading.

SarahBellam · 29/09/2021 20:16

There will be lots of classes or activities on after school - ballet or dance classes/martial arts/football, etc. that take kids from their ages. It would be worth having a look.

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Original poster
CouldWeStartAgainPlease · 29/09/2021 20:21

The issue I've found with after school things (5yo does dancing one evening) is that I have to take the 3yo (and soon the baby) with me, we're not allowed into the building, and say it's a 15 minute drive for a 45 minute class so my choices are to spend the 45 mins in the carpark with the younger ones, or spend 30 of the 45 minutes driving home and back.

I'd quite like them to do more after school classes and sports and things but the logistics are a ballache.

OP posts:
TrampolineForMrKite · 29/09/2021 20:21

@Daisy829

I think we put ourselves under too much pressure to ‘do stuff’ with the kids all the time. They will be tired mentally & physically after school at such young ages I would just let them chill out, play with their toys. You don’t need to entertain them all of the time. We tend to just watch tv, play with toys, sometimes I have errands to run & they will come with me, homework if needed but we don’t do anything very exciting to be honest.
What @Daisy829 said. Apart from Rainbows/Brownies night we didn’t do anything after school except watch Blue Peter and play then have our tea and do homework before bed. I’ve got two kids now of 7 and 5 and we keep it pretty similar. They’re tired and they don’t need overstimulating.
MintyGreenDream · 29/09/2021 20:23

I have one ds 7.

3.30 hot meal as he's "starving".
4pm til 6pm homework,x box or you tube.
6pm bath.
6.30 til.7.30 winds down with me watching The Simpsons (we both like it)
7.30ish bed.

Blahdyblahbla · 29/09/2021 20:25

I found this, so I booked reception child in for clubs 2 evenings a week, they start at 5.30, the toddler is happy to come along and clqmber about the car / run around outside. Probably zero help for you with a baby on the way though.
I sometimes invite a school mate for a play date, yes its another child to look after, but it changes the dynamic and breaks things up a bit.
Or go and see granny (and she feeds us as well).
In the better weather I've often got little errands to do like delivering a birthday present or so etching, so we'll walk and do that.
Dreading the bad weather setting in though.
If it all gets too much we go to McDonald's for tea Blush

PearandHoney · 29/09/2021 20:25

Three days after school we do clubs or activities (eg swimming), the other two days they have a snack, some screen time, then I set something up for them to play with (separately). I try and get them to help with jobs like setting the table and sorting laundry, which is a bit hit and miss but I give it a go.

I think it gets better/easier as they get older and are less tired after school and have the stamina to do more things. Also range of clubs and activities gets bigger as they get older.

MintyGreenDream · 29/09/2021 20:26

He has after school clubs twice a week too we get home around 4.45 on those days

Original poster
CouldWeStartAgainPlease · 29/09/2021 20:30

If it all gets too much we go to McDonald's for tea

Grin I suspect this is definitely going to be my fall back strategy a few times this winter!

OP posts:
PaperDolphin · 29/09/2021 20:34

My kids are same age, same year. I am often still at work until half 4/5 but even so, they generally just watch TV and have dinner. Sometimes play or draw. But they go to bed earlier - 3yo in the bath by 6 and 5yo by 6:30.

poohaloo · 29/09/2021 20:35

After school clubs 😀😀
Or the park
Or a dog walk
Or a trip to the bakery (yes this is a afternoon out in my house)
Followed by quick stint in a charity shop yes kids you can choose 1 thing each

speakout · 29/09/2021 20:39

Do they have friends?
At this age my children would be playing with other children for an hour or two after school most days, supervised in the garden.

Kaileighj · 29/09/2021 20:43

I'm a mum of two, nearly 3 and 7. I'm also a children's sleep practitioner. Around 3pm our melatonin (sleepy hormone) spikes a little making us feel a little tired. Best way to help is trying to get out in the fresh air/daylight even for half hour. You could have a visual timetable showing when you have things to do , clean etc. You could schedule on there mummy time too. Reward charts work too but I find you need to mix that up a little. Pinterest have some fab ideas.

spudjulia · 29/09/2021 20:43

Mine are older now, so go to the park with their friends by themselves, or come home to play on their computer for a bit, do their homework. stuff like that.

But when they were just starting school, some days they were at after school club while I worked, my days off we'd go to park, and I had some season tickets to local attractions so wed go there for a few hours. Sometimes it would be play dates, little friends coming for tea, or clubs/after school activities like swimming, gymnastics.

I suspect things are a bit slower paced since covid, some clubs/after school activities not back to normal, and that's not a bad thing. They really need a bit of downtime, especially this term.

RowanAlong · 29/09/2021 20:44

Mine are similar ages. We do park or garden to burn off the crazy energy, then to stop them bickering, something sitting down at opposite sides of the table - sticker book, craft activity etc that I can loosely supervise while making their tea/doing laundry etc.

Driftingblue · 29/09/2021 20:45

Snack and some decompression/tv time.
Then time to play.
Dinner, boardgame, stories, bedtime.

Somehow the time always seemed really short at our house, perhaps because bedtime was never a streamlined process at that age.

Puffykins · 29/09/2021 20:47

So, playpark. Ballet once a week. Swimming another day. Sometimes we'd go to a cafe for a hot chocolate and then to the playpark (would keep them going longer in the playpark.) Friends to play and tea/ vice versa at a friends' house. It does drag otherwise....

Puffykins · 29/09/2021 20:51

The not being able to go into the building where 1 DC is doing a club is really hard. I totally empathise. I always used to think I'd use the time to read to the other one. In reality they watched Peppa Pig on my phone while I read a book/ chatted to the other parents.

Caterina99 · 29/09/2021 20:56

4 and 6 year old here. School finishes at 3 and we’re home about 3.15. Our normal routine is home for a snack and chill in front of tv/iPad for half an hour ish. Then we go out and walk the dog or play in the garden til about 5.30. Usually eat dinner around 6 and then they either have a bath or watch tv/play until bedtime which is 7 for youngest (starts around 6.45) and 8 for oldest (starts around 7.30).

I do definitely need to do less tv time with them, but they’re so grumpy and hungry when they get home that they definitely need time to relax for a bit

I’m also conscious that the nights are getting darker and colder so I’m trying to make the most of the nicer evenings and be outside while we can

Charles11 · 29/09/2021 20:56

Is the dance class near a library or supermarket? Might be an opportunity to do some shopping or sit in the library.

RonaKnob · 29/09/2021 20:56

I remember my mum used to 'play hide and seek' at that age. I'd go hide and wait for her to find me. She never would. She was just doing it to get rid of me.

User5827372728 · 29/09/2021 20:57

After school club 3 times a week so on those days home, tea, games and tv

Other days if I collect at 3 we go to the playground for 2 hours then home, tea, tv

Flowerpower23 · 29/09/2021 21:03

Playground, walk round a park, get a cup of tea together and talk about her day, my daughter also has ballet mon and musical theatre Thursday after school. When we are home (5pmish) we make dinner (get your kids involved in it if you can as it counts as an activity and learning :) ) then bath reading and bed x

speakout · 29/09/2021 21:10

Think about what your children need- attend to that first and you will get better behaviour and more relaxed children.

They will be tired, hungry, and wanting some of your attention.
Attend to some of that first and your life will be easier.
My kids were always ravenous after school, so I would give them their main meal as soon as I could- batch cook/slow cooker, whatever it takes - my kids would eat at 4.30.
Then sofa time. Lots of cuddles and attention- listen to their day, tak about what has happened, any stories of stuff that needs to be shared. Often just a story book that we could read together and have a snuggle down.
Full tummies, a little rest and attention defused the situation, relaxed them and they were more settled and happy to get on with activities without squabbling, playing with toys, watching a movie while I caught up with chores.