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Original poster

Does your OH take the kids out?

50 replies

FlattenedOut · 27/09/2021 15:51

Hi all

Having a bad day, all I wanted was for my OH to take our very mischievous toddler out for an hour or so just so I could get shit done around the house in peace!

Little one was bored and could have done with an outing even something as standard as a local walk. OH is free, not at work during the day. It would have let me batter through the housework and cooking a lot more easily if I didn’t have an interrupting toddler who wanted to come in and empty the kitchen cupboards and poke around in every little thing that doesn’t concern her.

So we got into it me and OH, tensions were high and I lost my tether with him. We exchange some impolite words. His stance was basically “I’ll take her out when I feel like it” kind of thing - so basically never. He doesn’t think he’s wrong in letting her whinge at home when he could make life easier for me and get her outdoors.

For anyone that asks why didn’t I take her out and let him do the house chores, I’m heavily pregnant and unable to. I’m not very mobile at the minute and due any day now. Also, I’m the one who does the cooking, OH isn’t the best at it.

So do your OHs take the kids out to allow you to crack on with house stuff?

OP posts:
LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 27/09/2021 15:52

Yep.

MattyGroves · 27/09/2021 15:53

He even takes them out so that I can so something fun

Yamaya · 27/09/2021 15:53

No and it drives me nuts. Its a constant battle to get him to take the children anywhere, even one at a time because it seems like a lot of effort to him.

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IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 27/09/2021 15:54

Of course.
I'm sorry your partner is an idle twat who doesn't give a shit.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/09/2021 15:54

Of course. And if you go to the park on the weekend, early, it's full of men with small children. Because normal men do take their children out.

ChickenSchnitzel · 27/09/2021 15:54

Yes of course.

Does he always expect you to do all the parenting? Do you ever get any time to yourself?

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 27/09/2021 15:55

Sorry, I meant to add more! DP always did this when ours were little and he still does it in a different way now they’re older (pre-teens need it almost as much if they’re inclined to hole up and play Xbox for days on end while getting no fresh air).

Especially if you’re pregnant it would seem a bit crap of him not to.

LakeShoreD · 27/09/2021 15:56

If he’s not at work, then I’d fully expect him to be doing 50% of the kids/house at the best of times, when you’re heavily pregnant he should be doing more! It doesn’t sound like you have a great set up tbh.

inappropriateraspberry · 27/09/2021 15:57

Yes, he takes them out so I can do housework, have a nap or just do my own thing!
Your DH should want to take his own child out, even if it's just for an hour at the park.

SheABitSpicyToday · 27/09/2021 15:59

Yes and he takes my friends kids out too so that me and my friends can hang child free.

Your oh sounds crap. I’m also heavily pregnant and tbh haven’t lifted a finger for the past few months!

velvetstar · 27/09/2021 15:59

Yes. My DH takes them out so I can blitz through things at home, get some work done or quite frankly just so I can sit on my arse and watch the that isn't cBeebies!

He's being lazy and selfish to you and his DC. I'd suggest you get some sort of schedule in place with him before your next DC arrives or it's going to be a very difficult few months ahead.

Parker231 · 27/09/2021 15:59

Yes - every week. Evening sports clubs and weekend activities. He also shops, cooks, buys school shoes, organises dental appointments, does the laundry and works full time as a GP. He does, not because he is amazing but because he is a parent and we both work full time.

Original poster
FlattenedOut · 27/09/2021 16:02

I knew a lot of you would say yes because that’s what I would expect too!

Unfortunately in our household it’s mostly me taking DC out. OH finds it such a big chore and a fuss going out on his own with DC and whenever he has done it’s because I’ve had to ask a dozen times and literally plead. Today wasn’t one of those times obviously.

OH is such a homebody, will happily do jobs around the house but I’d prefer he took DC out and let me crack on so I can just get a bit of a break from it all. Especially now as I’m exhausted from pregnancy!

OP posts:
GetAlongWithTheVoices · 27/09/2021 16:02

Yep he takes them when I just need a break too. (I do think I'm very lucky though).

Ninjawannabe · 27/09/2021 16:03

Yep, DH takes ours out sometimes to give me time to cook etc, other times to give me a break / fun time, and sometimes even because he loves them and wants to do something special with them.

Your partner sounds like a bit of an arsehole I'm afraid, I can't imagine it's going to get easier when #2 arrives. Maybe he'll step up then... fingers crossed

Original poster
FlattenedOut · 27/09/2021 16:06

Just to add, this is solely about him taking DC out not other chores. He does nappies, feeds, night duties if toddler wakes, laundry, dishes, basic meals and works too. Like I said will happily do anything indoors but it’s just the going out thing - he just isn’t interested.

OP posts:
CaptainSpirit · 27/09/2021 16:08

That sounds really rubbish OP, he should want to take his child out. Sad

We have a 4 year old, a 20 month old and I'm also due any day now with our third - DH takes our older two out fairly often. He loves spending time with them and mostly takes them on walks around the woods, or he takes the oldest one on the food shop with him if he goes on the weekend. He's also very excited to take our toddler to her playgroups when he goes on paternity soon.

ineedaholidayandwine · 27/09/2021 16:09

Yep takes her out all the time, for a scoot, to the park, for a walk, for daddy daughter days out.
Could he not have taken into the garden at least and kicked a ball around?

Original poster
FlattenedOut · 27/09/2021 16:13

@ineedaholidayandwine I’ve said exactly this, if you don’t fancy an actual outing how about stepping downstairs and letting her entertain herself while you sit and supervise. Toddler is happy just to get out, she loves being outdoors and is an easier child when kept busy!

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 27/09/2021 16:44

Quite a few times over the past 18m I've suggested to DH that he takes the DCs out for lunch and to a certain place for walking and that gets them out for 3-4 hours which at times has been my only chance to be at home alone, and concentrate on doing stuff. He's never had an issue with stuff like that and both DCs are easier if they get out for a good while each day.

Sometimes you do just need them out and that space to crack on with your needs.

Kite22 · 27/09/2021 16:56

Yes (or he used to, when they were little - not sure they'd appreciate it so much now Wink )

MinnieMountain · 27/09/2021 16:56

Swimming seems to be another popular one for dads by themselves.

I don’t see the point in having a child if you don’t want to spend time with them.

juliainthedeepwater · 27/09/2021 16:58

Of course! It’s completely crazy to me that some dads don’t take their kids out!! God, there are so many dud men out there.

Original poster
FlattenedOut · 27/09/2021 17:12

Sometimes I just want to be alone doing nothing

OP posts:
Ell17 · 27/09/2021 18:17

I'm sorry you're going through this OP, especially being heavily pregnant! (Congrats).
My DH will take DS out whenever I ask/need time to do things. Sometimes he volunteers! And sometimes he does it just so I can put my feet up in piece. He works full time, I don't work. But having a toddler is tough at times. You need a break. I'm so he's being so inconsiderate