It has taken me over a decade, with the help of MN and three years of therapy to find the courage to go very low contact/no contact with my father.
My father was very abusive when we were younger, and the police were sometimes called, other family were regularly coming to our house to help my mother, as he had explosive outbursts of temper. My mother had a breakdown when I was eleven, and her parenting effectively ended, and I became the 'parent' cleaning, listening to her etc.
The worst of it was not that my father hit me, but that he told us a lot that he 'did not want kids' which is true I think, he agreed to keep my mother happy. However he hated any noise, he never once played with me, spoke to me, hugged me or even once said he loved me as a child. I lived in total fear of him. Living with a father who openly hated me was extremely difficult as a child, I became highly dependent on other relationships and people pleasing as a result.
Fast forward today I have no real relationship with my only sibling as such beyond birthday and christmas presents, and this week out of nowhere I have been ordered to 'move on' and 'stop living in the past' by him. He told me 'he does not remember' the abuse at all, and effectively told me I was making it up - I answered that I still have scars on my face to remind me every single day. My brother seems hellbent on rewriting history, he said every parent 'in the olden days' (we are in our 40s) hit and abused their children, and that we had a 'good' childhood?!! 
I have been told I am responsible for my mother's current depression as I won't 'move on' and be a 'normal' family with my father. I am 'torturing' my father by trying to outline my reasons for no contact and that I should be glad he paid the bills and didn't have affairs?!
For clarity, I did initially give my father lots of chances, but he ended up being emotionally abusive to my own children by commenting on their clothes being 'cheap' and 'tatty' (they were fashion jeans with holes) and a running commentary on their weight, eyebrows etc (they were pre teen at the time, and very hurt and cried when he would say those things) so we had to stop seeing my parents, and now only see my mother occasionally without my father.
Now my mother has stopped speaking to me because I won't move on, and is giving me the silent treatment whilst my brother has waded into the situation, and I am really very upset he is seemingly forgetting everything has happened, although he acknowledges 'Dad has a nasty temper'
I feel like I am being blackmailed with my mothers depression to accept this in my life again. They are the only family we have .