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'You need to move on' Family situation escalating

57 replies

Iamlistening · 22/09/2021 06:38

It has taken me over a decade, with the help of MN and three years of therapy to find the courage to go very low contact/no contact with my father.
My father was very abusive when we were younger, and the police were sometimes called, other family were regularly coming to our house to help my mother, as he had explosive outbursts of temper. My mother had a breakdown when I was eleven, and her parenting effectively ended, and I became the 'parent' cleaning, listening to her etc.

The worst of it was not that my father hit me, but that he told us a lot that he 'did not want kids' which is true I think, he agreed to keep my mother happy. However he hated any noise, he never once played with me, spoke to me, hugged me or even once said he loved me as a child. I lived in total fear of him. Living with a father who openly hated me was extremely difficult as a child, I became highly dependent on other relationships and people pleasing as a result.

Fast forward today I have no real relationship with my only sibling as such beyond birthday and christmas presents, and this week out of nowhere I have been ordered to 'move on' and 'stop living in the past' by him. He told me 'he does not remember' the abuse at all, and effectively told me I was making it up - I answered that I still have scars on my face to remind me every single day. My brother seems hellbent on rewriting history, he said every parent 'in the olden days' (we are in our 40s) hit and abused their children, and that we had a 'good' childhood?!! Confused

I have been told I am responsible for my mother's current depression as I won't 'move on' and be a 'normal' family with my father. I am 'torturing' my father by trying to outline my reasons for no contact and that I should be glad he paid the bills and didn't have affairs?!

For clarity, I did initially give my father lots of chances, but he ended up being emotionally abusive to my own children by commenting on their clothes being 'cheap' and 'tatty' (they were fashion jeans with holes) and a running commentary on their weight, eyebrows etc (they were pre teen at the time, and very hurt and cried when he would say those things) so we had to stop seeing my parents, and now only see my mother occasionally without my father.

Now my mother has stopped speaking to me because I won't move on, and is giving me the silent treatment whilst my brother has waded into the situation, and I am really very upset he is seemingly forgetting everything has happened, although he acknowledges 'Dad has a nasty temper'

I feel like I am being blackmailed with my mothers depression to accept this in my life again. They are the only family we have .

OP posts:
MrsLargeEmbodied · 22/09/2021 06:42

i am sorry
they would of course say this
they are not likely to be prepared to admit any wrong doing

if you want you need a mediator
or you could let it go and carry on not seeing your father

lannistunut · 22/09/2021 06:43
Flowers

You need counselling support I think, and you may have to go no/low contact with all of them.

You are right, and they are wrong.

Being blamed is very common in these situations. Sometimes, as hard as it is, no family contact is better than this.

Iamlistening · 22/09/2021 06:47

I have only just stopped counselling support as I was feeling quite happy with accepting my father is what he is.
My psychologist told me she thought my father was a psychopath, a real one, which was pretty shocking to say the least, but I thought we had worked through it all and I felt okay. I had my boundaries in place, but my brother has blindsided me with this. I didn't expect him to get involved.

OP posts:
Namechangeforthis88 · 22/09/2021 06:47

Someone will be along with wise words I'm sure, but I couldn't just leave this unanswered. I'm mid 40's and no, every child of our generation was not hit and abused. What you describe was regarded as abusive in our childhood.

AnyFucker · 22/09/2021 06:52

The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, did it ?

Your brother is following in his father’s footsteps. Grey rock all of them.

Mintyt · 22/09/2021 06:53

You know what's best for you and your children. Go NC, I went NC with my father and have not regretted it once, they don't like home truths. Stay strong to yourself and you are worth it, you have worked hard to get yourself it a better place and you need to stay there and leave them be.

FlorenceWintle · 22/09/2021 06:53

Distance yourself from all of them. Your brother can’t admit to himself that you are right because it means a lot of hard questions, of himself and others.

lannistunut · 22/09/2021 06:55

@Iamlistening

I have only just stopped counselling support as I was feeling quite happy with accepting my father is what he is. My psychologist told me she thought my father was a psychopath, a real one, which was pretty shocking to say the least, but I thought we had worked through it all and I felt okay. I had my boundaries in place, but my brother has blindsided me with this. I didn't expect him to get involved.
Don't discuss the psychologist's views with your family but hold onto the fact that you have managed to escape from the mind control and they haven't. Your brother is in pain, because he was also brought up by a psychopath.
bowlingalleyblues · 22/09/2021 06:56

I’m so sorry you have been through this, and of course it’s not ‘normal’ or okay what you experienced as a child. I wonder if you are experiencing your family’s reaction to your new good feelings following your counselling. Can you go back for more support as you deal with this situation?

ANameChangeAgain · 22/09/2021 06:59

That's a really sad story. It sounds as though you do have good instinct and the ability to set boundaries, so cut out all of them. Your father is an abuser, your mother is an enabler and your brother is a deniers. None of them deserve you or your children. I think carry on seeing your psychologist and let them get you through the next phase of cutting out the rest of them. Flowers

Iamlistening · 22/09/2021 07:02

Do you think I should go low contact/no contact with my brother? I had tried to keep some kind of relationship going, I feel sad for him that he too had a difficult childhood, even if he is now blaming me for being a 'difficult child'

I had chosen to break the cycle, and it was initially really painful to give up on the hope of having a happy, normal family and grandparents for my dc. I had to work really hard to break free.
They are the only family we have (PIL and dh sibling have died)

OP posts:
Iamlistening · 22/09/2021 07:05

Brother seems fixated with minimising everything! Not once has he held my father accountable, he just chooses to relentlessly blame me for all of it.

OP posts:
MrsLargeEmbodied · 22/09/2021 07:06

what would be the point in seeing your brother op?
not for you as he isnt saying what you want him to say

lannistunut · 22/09/2021 07:07

@Iamlistening

Do you think I should go low contact/no contact with my brother? I had tried to keep some kind of relationship going, I feel sad for him that he too had a difficult childhood, even if he is now blaming me for being a 'difficult child'

I had chosen to break the cycle, and it was initially really painful to give up on the hope of having a happy, normal family and grandparents for my dc. I had to work really hard to break free.
They are the only family we have (PIL and dh sibling have died)

You don't have to decide today, maybe go back to the counselor to discuss the changed situation.

Usually, unfortunately, these things don't resolve cleanly and in one go.

But you can absolutely consider low/no contact with him too.

frazzledasarock · 22/09/2021 07:10

With you gone as the one taking all the abuse your brother is probably getting a taste of what you experienced as an adult.

He probably wants you back on your role so he can blissfully continue getting lesser abuse.

I’d go no contact with the lot. But if you can’t manage that then low contact.

If your brother starts going on about how lovely your parents are, tell him his experience is clearly very different from yours and you will not discuss it further or have your experience and memories gaslighted by him.

I’m NC with my entire family as my sister acts like your brother does. Because she didn’t get the brunt of the abuse I did. And it suited her to have me and my kids there being targeted.

SinoohXaenaHide · 22/09/2021 07:12

You have "no real relationship" with your brother beyond exchange of birthday/Christmas gifts so what would you actually lose if you didn't have contact with him? He doesn't get to order you around, he has no power over you and neither do either of your parents.

Live your life, prioritise your own children first and your own best interests. Get involved in your local community, volunteer for activities and groups that will help you build up friendships and contacts. Life is short and is not a rehearsal - you do not have to expend your limited time and emotional energy on the people who are your immediate relatives, given the history you outline you do not owe them anything. If your mum is happy to keep seeing you on your terms then fine, if she wants to guilt-trip you into abandoning your self respect in order to role-play as a functional family, you do not have to engage with that and you have the power to disengage and walk away.

Theunamedcat · 22/09/2021 07:17

@Iamlistening

Brother seems fixated with minimising everything! Not once has he held my father accountable, he just chooses to relentlessly blame me for all of it.
Then really what is the point in staying close to him he will just keep beating you with the same stick over and over again

Protect yourself go no contact with them all

You are not responsible for your dads abuse
You are not responsible for your moms depression
You are not responsible for your brothers denial

Iamlistening · 22/09/2021 07:20

Thanks for your posts. I have great friends, I live in a small but closely knit village and most of the time I am able to put this all behind me. Christmas can be difficult but other than that I am content with the situation. It is really good to know I am not the only one in this position, even though I feel for anyone going through this.

He really made me question myself, that has rattled me the most. I obviously know the truth, but he is making me feel self doubt, and like I am being unreasonable to expect anything better from my father, he has done an exceptional job of undermining me.

OP posts:
Iamlistening · 22/09/2021 07:23

I’m NC with my entire family as my sister acts like your brother does. Because she didn’t get the brunt of the abuse I did. And it suited her to have me and my kids there being targeted

This is exactly my position frazzled I feel they are uniting against me, which is the first time they have done this, before now my brother stayed out of it, and it was only my mother 'working' on trying to get me to bring Dad back into my children's lives.

I can not put my children through what I went through as I child, I don't trust him enough to even have them in the same room.

OP posts:
Iamlistening · 22/09/2021 07:26

You have "no real relationship" with your brother beyond exchange of birthday/Christmas gifts so what would you actually lose if you didn't have contact with him? He doesn't get to order you around, he has no power over you and neither do either of your parents

I suppose I had hoped in time I could move on to seeing them again in person, and have some kind of meaningful connection with my brother.

OP posts:
MzHz · 22/09/2021 07:33

You ARE being blackmailed

Your mother enabled this abuse, she’s enabling this blackmail and bullying now

The facts here are:
You don’t want to see your dad anymore
You don’t want to be subjected to blame by your IN DENIAL brother, and your mother is trying to “work” towards you breaching your own well founded boundaries - not in your best interests, not for your kids, for him. A man who hated you and hurt and abused you.

Stop- you can stop this, and you know it’s the right thing to do

Go NC with the lot of them. Give yourself the permission you need to cut these people from your life and you will feel better

You’ll do some more grieving, sure, but then you will be able to move on, past these awful memories

beigebrownblue · 22/09/2021 07:38

I am so sorry you have experienced this awful situation.

Without wanting to minimise this in any way, it may help you feel less isolated to know that one in four people are estranged from birth family members for many different reasons.

The pain of this i have experienced too.

However I am, like you working through it.

One organisation I have come across is called 'stand alone' which in non covid times offered support groups etc.

www.standalone.org.uk

There are some leads on the website which might help..

Iamlistening · 22/09/2021 07:39

Thanks Mzhz I really needed to hear that. My mother's wishes to have everyone back in their roles and the family pretence continuing seems to trump my need to keep my children safe and to be honest about the past.

My boundaries were hard won, because I feel a great deal of love for my family even after everything that has happened.

OP posts:
Griefmonster · 22/09/2021 07:41

I am so sorry to read your post @Iamlistening. I know a little of the dynamics you're describing although not the brutality. This really stood out to me:

I had my boundaries in place, but my brother has blindsided me with this. I didn't expect him to get involved.

Give yourself time to absorb the shock of your brother switching gears on this.

No need to do anything or respond now. Take your time. These are your decisions to make. Don't let others pressurise you in to meeting their needs.

I know how hard it is to give up on the idea of the extended family you would like for you and your children. There is a grieving process that happens when those ideas or plans start to expose themselves as fantasies and not achievable goals.

You will need to regroup and redraw your boundaries with this new information.

For what it's worth , from my view, your brother is not a safe person to have in your life. I would also sadly say your mother isn't either but those are decisions only you can make. With support from your chosen family.

MzHz · 22/09/2021 07:43

Moving on - to them - means that what they did, didn’t matter and in places did not happen

They’re not interested in your own health or well being, just that they want you back in the position they created for you; a source (in both you AND your dc) of power and psychopathic feed

Your ‘moving on’ is where they acknowledge why they have done, apologise ideally and never repeat it.

That’s never going to happen, is it? The move on that they are squawking for can also be pronounced as put up and shut up.

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