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Original poster

Mentally unwell partner just walked out

68 replies

Wiggles278 · 19/09/2021 13:47

He feels like he can't be at home because 'they're coming for him' and he has to 'go into hiding'. He hasn't told me where he's going or for how long, but he's gone on foot.

I really just don't know what to do. I'm not necessarily worried for his safety so I don't want to waste police time.

He has been in contact with mental health services for a while but thinks they're in on it. As a brief background, he has been treated very badly by an employer (in healthcare) and has had some not great but not awful experiences with a GP and mental health services, and now believes there's some NHS/healthcare-wide cover up/conspiracy to get him. I don't know how to get him help when he thinks everyone is working against him, and if they suggest he goes on medication (which they have, multiple times) he takes this as confirmation that there's a cover-up and they're accusing him of being insane to deflect from what's really going on.

I'm just at the end of my tether with it all. I feel exhausted, defeated and just so, so sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wiggles278 · 19/09/2021 19:12

@RandomMess Thanks. I think that would be a good idea. I need to try to think of a way to word it to the GP as his delusions involve the GP being involved in this conspiracy.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 19/09/2021 19:24

I would be going to A&E tbh

Original poster
Wiggles278 · 19/09/2021 19:35

@RandomMess They're not allowing me to accompany him at the moment due to Covid and I want to give him time to cool down so haven't been making much contact other than a call to check he's ok.

If the GP is no help Wednesday do you think A&E would offer scans in this situation if he just turned up?

OP posts:

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Ahhhhhbisto · 19/09/2021 19:40

I understand the guilt but you have absolutely done the right thing.

Not sure if A&E would scan but deffo push the gp for a referral.

RandomMess · 19/09/2021 19:52

Is it worth calling 111 and see if they say he needs to be seen?

itsme1978 · 19/09/2021 19:59

I'm confused.....is the paranoia and delusions not been going on pre his head injury?

colouringindoors · 19/09/2021 20:02

OP you definitely did the right thing.

A&E should call you with an update. Be very clear that since a recent head injury he's experienced severe headaches, paranoia, personality change and now suicidality. You strongly believe he has had a brain injury and needs an MRI.

One option would be that you refuse to have him discharged home until this has been completed.

GoWalkabout · 19/09/2021 21:36

The mental health team psychiatrist could request the scans if they agree needed due to the history. I just know my psychiatrist would always request these to exclude something organic with certain especially sudden onset symptoms.

VavavoomHenry · 19/09/2021 22:32

I’m sorry he is so unwell. So scary for you.
As far as the possible brain injury, they can be really nasty. I would definitely ring and convey the head injury to A&E. Did he have a scan at the time?

colouringindoors · 20/09/2021 17:13

How are things today OP?

MinnieJackson · 21/09/2021 00:38

How is he doing? Hope you're ok Flowers

Original poster
Wiggles278 · 22/09/2021 20:23

Thanks for your comments and support, everyone.

I was allowed to stay with him in A&E once he had been triaged. The person we spoke to from the mental health team was very helpful and seemed to have a positive impact.

My partner has been seeing things more clearly now and although things aren't completely better, they have definitely improved. He is no longer having the same thoughts as he was.

We have a vague plan for how we are going to address things (the mental health and the physical problems) going forward so I am feeling more hopeful than on the weekend.

OP posts:
Ahhhhhbisto · 22/09/2021 20:45

Good news OP. I hope that things keep progressing in the right direction.

Take care 💐

RandomMess · 22/09/2021 20:56

Am so pleased things have improved Thanks

Booknooks · 22/09/2021 21:02

That's good news OP. My sister has been through similar, she was sectioned first of all as she had a psychotic episode, and following that admission was very anti NHS, anti establishment, everything was a cover up and a conspiracy etc. She was doing a lot better on medication, but as often happens, missed a few and then the thoughts that they were bad and an effort to control her/poison her crept back in. Thankfully though she is now doing a lot better, we went through some very dark days and although it's definitely an ongoing journey, I never thought things would be this good again.

Phoning the police was the best thing you could have done, they won't see it today, tomorrow or next week necessarily, but I'm sure eventually would. If it was a physical injury that was endangering someone's life and they didn't want help I think the vast majority would phone for help as its the right thing to do.

MinnieJackson · 23/09/2021 07:54

So glad to hear your update. Loads of unmumsnetty hugs to you x

colouringindoors · 24/09/2021 09:27

Thanks for the update OP. I'm really pleased to hear things have improved a bit and hope they continue to do so. Take good care of yourself too.

PermanentTemporary · 24/09/2021 09:38

This is for the future. About the promise you made to him not to allow him to be sectioned.

I think it's very important that you think that one through and release yourself from this promise.

To begin with, you aren't involved with any decision to detain someone under section- it's a medical or social work decision.

And more importantly, there might be times in the future where that could be the best outcome for him. I hope not, but it's possible. You won't have failed him in any way if that happens.

I'm saying this because I once promised my dh that he would never be admitted again, and the promise was a factor in stopping me asking for the right help when I should have done. Every situation is different.

I'm not saying either of us was a bad person for promising - when someone is terrified and paranoid, they desperately need something to hold on to. Just that promises about specific treatments can become barriers in our minds to working for the best for our partners, which is what we mean

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