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Original poster

Mentally unwell partner just walked out

68 replies

Wiggles278 · 19/09/2021 13:47

He feels like he can't be at home because 'they're coming for him' and he has to 'go into hiding'. He hasn't told me where he's going or for how long, but he's gone on foot.

I really just don't know what to do. I'm not necessarily worried for his safety so I don't want to waste police time.

He has been in contact with mental health services for a while but thinks they're in on it. As a brief background, he has been treated very badly by an employer (in healthcare) and has had some not great but not awful experiences with a GP and mental health services, and now believes there's some NHS/healthcare-wide cover up/conspiracy to get him. I don't know how to get him help when he thinks everyone is working against him, and if they suggest he goes on medication (which they have, multiple times) he takes this as confirmation that there's a cover-up and they're accusing him of being insane to deflect from what's really going on.

I'm just at the end of my tether with it all. I feel exhausted, defeated and just so, so sad.

OP posts:

Driftingblue · 19/09/2021 16:06

If this all started after the injury then I would be much more aggressive about getting him to the hospital. I might wait until he gets home, but he needs to get there, even if he protests.

If the cause is chemical, I understand that it can be a more nuanced issue trying to make sure there is a long term relationship of trust with a person who may have difficult episodes from time to time. I still think this rises to the need of needing to get him in against his wishes because the things he is saying make it sound like he might make himself transient in order to hide and that isn’t in his best interest.

Goldi321 · 19/09/2021 16:15

You should call the police, he is very vulnerable and has the potential to be a risk to himself or others. This would not be wasting police time x

Original poster

Wiggles278 · 19/09/2021 16:45

Thanks everyone. I have called the police.

I have also received a message from him saying he's taken a packet of co-codamol and wants to die and have let the police know this.

OP posts:

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General health

CornishTiger · 19/09/2021 16:48

You have done the right thing in reporting to Police.

Can you access his phone tracker via Google find my phone iPhone tracker etc on another device. I know he’s probably turned it off.

CurlyWurly321 · 19/09/2021 17:07

Oh this is desperately sad and frustrating for your partner and for you.

Can you afford to go private to have the headaches looked into (once this current situation has settled a bit?).

PlanDeRaccordement · 19/09/2021 17:11

He has had a head injury and concussion. He needs to be referred to a neurologist. It sounds as if he’s had a traumatic brain injury and is now getting post traumatic migraines. He needs brain injury rehabilitation, not to be treated as if he is insane.

PurpleDaisies · 19/09/2021 17:12

Hopefully the police find him soon. He sounds very unwell and you’ve absolutely done the rift thing in calling them.

2bazookas · 19/09/2021 17:18

Call his CPN and inform; follow their advice.

While you have a break, take some time to yourself to evaluate.

colouringindoors · 19/09/2021 17:23

Wiggles 💐💐 so sorry to read this. Agree with other posters about pushing for MRI if much of this is post injury. (~£300 private fyi)

In my extensive experience, the police are really, really good in these situations. Take care.

Twillow · 19/09/2021 17:24

I hope he is found soon.
The thing is, if he is sectioned and put on the medication that will help then he will start to feel better.

DismantledKing · 19/09/2021 17:30

I’m glad you’ve called the police.
In my own experience, mental health crisis teams (and NHS mental health services in general) are worse than useless. When I had a crisis, the police were far more sympathetic and helpful that the MH services.

Ahhhhhbisto · 19/09/2021 17:55

OP I hope he is found soon and gets the help that he needs.

Remember to look after yourself aswell. 💐💐

Mariell · 19/09/2021 18:15

It sounds like he has a brain injury so his ramblings may not be entirely in accurate if he has not been properly assessed.

userxx · 19/09/2021 18:23

Got everything crossed he's found very soon.

Holothane · 19/09/2021 18:25

Hugs you have sympathy this is a tragic situation he 9s vulnerable the police won’t think your wasting time, especially as he’s in the system anyway, call whoever you can. You need support as well.

Hen2018 · 19/09/2021 18:26

Is there any more information you could glean and pass to the police? Could you hear anything in the background of phone calls? Does he have a usual walking route?

I hope he returns or is found soon.

HollowTalk · 19/09/2021 18:35

It sounds like a really difficult situation for you.

I hope he is found soon and gets some treatment.

Random789 · 19/09/2021 18:39

I hope he gets the support he needs. You have done the right thing. xxx

Christinatherabbit · 19/09/2021 18:44

How hard for you. You have absolutely done the right thing. Try and stay strong. Hope everything gets sorted and he is able to access some help 💐

Original poster

Wiggles278 · 19/09/2021 18:47

Thanks for the messages, everyone. He has been found and taken to A&E because of the overdose and also hopefully for some mental health hope. Ideally also to look into the headaches but I know that might be too much for one day!

I spoke to him and couldn't tell if he sounded tired or annoyed. I hope he can understand why I called the police. I feel very guilty.

OP posts:

GoWalkabout · 19/09/2021 18:51

Push for a brain scan. After a head injury and new headache and ramblings this should be done.

Original poster

Wiggles278 · 19/09/2021 18:53

@GoWalkabout What sort of brain scan would I need to request? He has a GP appointment this week and I'm going to go with him to help advocate and hope he doesn't get brushed off with stress, but I'm unsure what exactly to push for.

OP posts:

Hen2018 · 19/09/2021 18:59

Don’t feel guilty.

I’m glad he’s on the way to hospital.

RandomMess · 19/09/2021 19:03

I would be asking for a CAT scan and an MRI if that's clear.

He's had a head injury and he's become confused and delusion.

toolazytothinkofausername · 19/09/2021 19:11

@Wiggles278

I spoke to him and couldn't tell if he sounded tired or annoyed. I hope he can understand why I called the police. I feel very guilty.

Brain dump all your thoughts and feelings on paper. Do not give the paper to him now, but save it for him in the future when he is feeling better. The mental illness is not his fault, but he does need to know you went through it too.

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