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Original poster

DC(6) refused to leave cafe and had a tantrum

73 replies

Walkingriver · 18/09/2021 13:32

DC(6) flatly refused to leave a cafe today and as I got up to leave he starting shouting, blocked the archway to leave with both arms and legs spread across it. I had to forcibly move his arm to get passed him and he threw himself on the floor screeching and howling. I managed to get him on his feet and pull him out of the cafe by his arm, all the while he was screeching and thrashing.

The cafe was packed and so many people were staring at us. I could die of shame and embarrassment. He’s 6 ffs. When I, as his DM, say we are leaving why on earth does a 6yo think they get to dictate otherwise?

What could I have done differently? I can never go into that cafe again, his behaviour was horrific and loud.

(We had been waiting 20 mins for table service and despite assurances they would take our order soon, 3 times, I said let’s go to a different cafe nearby).

OP posts:

Newnewnew1179 · 18/09/2021 15:10

I agree that if it’s a one off then don’t worry. If I’d been in the cafe I’d just have thought poor you, been there.

My oldest was prone to a public tantrum and it wasn’t always possible to pre empt it or reason him out of it. I have teens now but I’ve seen many many parents resort to physically removing their child on many many occasions. My sons best friend used to pull this kind of stunt at the end of practically every play date at about the same age and his Mum (who had 4 others and no time for such shenanigans and was also freakishly strong) just used to grab him rugby ball style and dump him in the car whilst ignoring the screaming and carrying on with her conversation. He’s now the most lovely, engaging and polite 15 year old.

Bakingwithmyboys · 18/09/2021 15:11

If I saw you, I'd think well done you.

I'm so fed up of seeing parents try and reason with children to get them to leave somewhere and the child dictates when it is happening. They then end up in a shouting match until the child has had their last swing/slide/climb so the child wins and not the parent. I see it so much at the park.

Yes, we need to explain why we might have changed our mind and a 6 yr old may understand.

As others have said, lots of school children are tired and cranky from the start of term and not able to deal with situations as well as they should.

Once a child has escalated, there is nothing you can say to them that they will take on board until they are calmer.

Yes it's embarrassing, my nearly 7 yr old can throw a meltdown over little things. But when you go back, just hold your head high. They will have forgotten by then.

Fluffycloudland77 · 18/09/2021 15:14

I get hangry at 44. My dm used to carry small snacks for me in the 70’s after I lobbed something at her head.

Triggers for bad behaviour in adults are tiredness, being unwell/pain & tiredness, it can’t be too different in kids.

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Families

Summerfun54321 · 18/09/2021 15:26

I think everyone else in the cafe was probably thinking “why the fuck is it taking so long to get served”.

BigWoollyJumpers · 18/09/2021 15:27

Goodness me. I would never have tried to reason with a 6 year old in that situation. They are six for goodness sake. Quite able to understand and comply with parental direction. Do as you are told. No compromise. I am the adult, you are the child. Don't I sound old fashioned? Yes, yes, I am.

Humblpi · 18/09/2021 15:32

Hangry i expect - i'm not far off this myself sometimes!! Try to carry snacks? I know plenty of grown adults who cant seem to spot their own hanger!

TSSDNCOP · 18/09/2021 15:39

My 50 year old sister did similar in Nando's the other day, she literally cannot cope with hunger

lemmein · 18/09/2021 15:41

I bet he just openly displayed the emotions of every waiting customer in there 😂

Don't worry about returning OP, we've all been there - nowt to feel embarrassed about.

Goldbar · 18/09/2021 15:47

@TSSDNCOP. You're not the first poster to mention an adult doing this. Do adults actually have tantrums due to being hungry ?

At least if it's an adult, you can walk away. You're not responsible for their safety.

itsgettingwierd · 18/09/2021 15:48

It's no wonder children cannot behave nowadays.

Nearly every post on here excuses the child's behaviour and blames the mum.

I'm pretty sure his mum was more than capable of telling him before ah d they'd go elsewhere and as disappointed and hungry as he may well have been blocking the exit and screaming is no way an acceptable response.

My ds would have been taken home and given a sandwich and told we may eat out at a cafe again at some point in the near future when I can trust him to behave appropriately.

Tired and hungry explains grumpiness. This went way beyond this.

Steeple · 18/09/2021 16:26

@TSSDNCOP

My 50 year old sister did similar in Nando's the other day, she literally cannot cope with hunger

Seriously? What did you do???

TSSDNCOP · 18/09/2021 16:48

Shoved her into McDonald's and rammed her full of chicken nuggets sharpish.

LaurieFairyCake · 18/09/2021 16:50

I always carry a protein bar and I get nuts if I go beyond hunger to hangry

I feel like a crazy person - Dh is the same. Low blood sugar is horrible.

Fluffycloudland77 · 18/09/2021 16:55

I think some of us crash from normal blood sugar to low very quickly. I’ve got a BMI of 18 so I don’t have reserves to fall back on these days, that or my livers hanging on to it’s glycogen for grim life.

Before we go anywhere dh will ask if I’m likely to need food soon.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 18/09/2021 17:03

Has anyone else now got a vision of TSSDCNOP’s sister blocking the doorway of Nandos and screaming

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 18/09/2021 17:30

Honestly op I’d be thinking I’m so glad it’s not just me, DS5 has been horrific today.

Roll on bed time

Humblpi · 18/09/2021 17:32

Before we go anywhere dh will ask if I’m likely to need food soon.

I do this with DP

Tooembarrassingtomention · 18/09/2021 18:02

@Wnikat

He was hungry and they’ve been back at school two weeks and are tired.

He is 6 not 3

Redburnett · 18/09/2021 20:15

You are the adult and you rightly took control of the situation. Just keep going and take care not to reward tantrums.
Cafes like this that are too slow to bring orders are a nightmare for customers. Frankly it serves them right if a child kicks off (thinking of a certain cafe in Glastonbury recently that took over 40 minutes to produce houmus and ciabatta....)

Steeple · 18/09/2021 22:53

@TSSDNCOP

Shoved her into McDonald's and rammed her full of chicken nuggets sharpish.

Kanaloa · 18/09/2021 23:01

You weren’t wrong to remove him, but he’s only 6 and sometimes these things happen. It’s not good behaviour but there’s an understandable trigger - he had waited for food in the cafe then suddenly you were leaving without having had food.

I don’t think it necessitates any further action, he had a wobbly then presumably ate somewhere else. If we were all perfect at 6 then school teachers would have the easiest job in the world!

bellamountain · 18/09/2021 23:01

I think 6 year olds are still very young and have a hard time dealing with their emotions. My 6 year old embarrassed more than once in public today....!!

RightOnTheEdge · 18/09/2021 23:05

@TSSDNCOP

Shoved her into McDonald's and rammed her full of chicken nuggets sharpish.

Hahaha!

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