Year 8 parents asking what DC want to do for a career, should they know at this age?!!

[Bowtie292]

The kids are 12-13 years old. Lots of chat amongst the mums going on now about what their plans are for the future. DS hasn't got a clue, all he knows is that he doesn't like school much. Should I be talking more to him about career paths etc? It's not something we've ever really spoken about. The only thing I've said is that university is not the holy grail and if he wants to do something like plumbing etc he has those options too. He's in set 1 for everything but he's not particularly academic and I know from personal experience that it's just assumed you'll go down the uni route. Any thoughts/experiences?

At that age dd knew exactly what she wanted to do. (Well she knew from about the age of 9 actually which is why we sent her to the school she did) but that is quite unusual.

Ds had no idea until he was about Year 10 and even then it was I want to do something involved in music.

He'll work it out for himself soon enough, Bowtie. Plenty of children don't have much idea about what they want to do at his age and, out of those that do, they don't always achieve it.

When the time comes, he'll push doors and try things until he finds his niche.

Well done to him for being in the top set for everything, whatever path he eventually takes, he has a good start.

Yes I often talk to my Ds who has just gone into year 9 about this.

I have no career despite having a degree and being quite academic because I did not really know what I wanted to do and the one thing I was interested in, I was given no guidance or encouragement. The hardest thing imo is knowing what you want to do. Once you know, you at least have something to work towards. Not saying teens need a career plan set in stone but a basic idea is good.

My ds is academic but easily bored so we have decided he needs a job where he can use his brain but that isn't purely desk based.

I think it's useful to at least chat about things.

I don't even know where to begin with the conversation. I'm thinking back to my school days and I think by year 9/10 I realised I liked Biology, carried on studying until I'd got my degree and then just applied for jobs in that field but I didn't know what I wanted to be. My parents never talked through my options with me or gave me any advice but maybe if DS really doesn't have a clue we should be giving him some guidance.

I think it's normal to talk to them about it generally at that age because it feeds into GCSE choices which must be just round the corner.

But equally, most of them will change their mind going forward so it really doesn't matter if he doesn't know yet.

I think it is good to push the idea at this age that they can work towards something specific though. It's not just school for schools sake. It's 'I want to be X therefore I need good results in maths and science, but PE and cooking matter much less', for example. It's just the idea of working for something specific rather than going to school for a massive range of subjects because 'that's what you have to do'.

There's loads of career aptitude type quizzes online if you search for them. You could get him to do some and start having a think.

DS1 (15) has no clue - but does have a bunch of subjects he likes to study - so will take those for A-levels - they are typical subjects leading down the uni path.
DS2 (9) knows exactly what he wants to do - GCSE papers, A-level papers, uni papers, job at the end of it. He has his future all chalked out. However l am not taking any bets on how long it takes to change his mind

To answer your question -yes - do talk to him about what kind of things he would like to do. This conversation kind of starts with fire fighter, train driver at 4-5 years of age and evolves from there as your child matures.

Thankyou. I'll have a Google, I think a quizz might be a good starting point. I think he probably needs to decide if he wants to go down the academic route or not 1st. I'm not sure it's for him really. My DH's side is all tradesmen whilst I work in life sciences. He's clever enough for uni but I think if you don't really have that passion for education it's an up hill struggle. He enjoys DT and maths is his strongest subject.

You can should at least drop it into conversation as it won't hurt. Some kids know some don't. Your kid will appreciate you taking an interest. Conversations might start of like "do you you thinks you'd like to do be a vet? 'after visiting the vets for example. Then talk about what a vet might have had to do to get that job etc.

We've definitely had the 'what do you want to do when you're a grown up' chats when he was little but no serious conversations about career options since he started secondary.

Thanks for all the replies. We'll slowly start chatting.

I think they should have some idea, something to work towards even if it’s not the thing that they actually end up doing. DS is in year 8 at a state grammar school and he wants to be an officer in the Army but he doesn’t know what he wants to do except nothing that involves sitting behind a desk. He’s joining the Army Cadets on Monday so that will give him more ideas. He’s actually been talking about it a lot recently and I think he’s like more of an idea of what specifically he could do but he’s too young to go the the careers office just yet.

Dc1 did online career questionnaires which helped with starting discussions. Now in y13 knows what area wants to go into but not narrowed it down (waiting to see what apprenticeships are around later in the year). He changed his mind multiple times over the years but since year 10 seems to have an idea of area of work.
Dc2&3 are year 8 one has no idea the other has known since about year 4 - but who knows what will happen.
I think talking about careers is important so dc know the options, also talking about likes and dislikes, what subjects they enjoy or don't enjoy. What is important to them. One of my dcs like repetitive actions but also needs to have there brain stretched another is a history fan but detests geography, two are good at maths but one doesn't actually like it. It's all about communicating about different opportunities but not putting pressure on to choose.
Like you I've told them that university is not the only option. It helps having Dc1 as Dc2&3 hear conversations about careers and chip in /ask questions.
Also it's important that they have other opportunities so Dc1 does volunteering and has a job this shows a good work ethic and is just as important these days as grades.

I don't think people need to have a set path in mind but they should definitely have ideas and interests of potential careers, it's your job to help explore these. My parents never pushed me towards one specific career but helped open any doors they could and ensured I had lots of interests that could lead down different paths. While it didn't mean I left school to study something that was my ultimate career, it did mean I left with multiple areas of interest to explore, one of which ultimately is my role. Unfortunately the way you're going currently could lead to stagnation when they leave school or them missing out on getting a career they later enjoy. if there's literally nothing they could think about wanting to do, then you're not in a great place. There should at least be a lot of ideas.

There are so many options for them, have they ever tried any kind of work experience or shadowing? Have you ever taken them to see a court case, encouraged them to mentor younger students, let them try some art classes, taking them to visit castles, watched documentaries about the origin of the planet, gone to a nature sanctuary, done a science museum, written an article, watched Prime Minister's Questions, read literature, done a coding course, helped out in an office, anything like this? Does he enjoy being outside, is he sociable or does he prefer working alone, is he practical, does he like writing, does technology interest him? There are endless opportunities to engage with potential employers and sectors, they're always really keen to talk to the next generation.

All of these are ways to spark interests. Raise your bar a little higher for them, an apprenticeship is great if that's what they decide they want to do, likewise lots of paths through university. But it should be a CHOICE they make based on wanting to do it, not because their life has not prepared them to understand what is out there and they just need to pick an easy option. Kids who leave school with no enthusiasm for anything will have a lost 20s of doing work they don't enjoy with no path in life and without much likelihood of ever having a meaningful career.

The reason why students who don't know what they want to do in life take the uni route is that it's an opportunity to try a bit of everything, meet loads of employers and sectors, discover careers they have never heard of, all while gaining a degree that at least opens doors to some kind of job (if it's a decent degree).

I’ve always been good at maths/ anything analytical so my mum encouraged me to do either finance or law. She organised work experience for me when I was 15 and we had regular conversations about the direction I wanted my life to go in. I’m now in my late twenties and have a career in finance. I would definitely start talking to him now. He may not know exactly what he wants to do but you can figure out what his strengths are and take it from there

Definitely talk about it with him. You might inspire him. My DS has known what he wants to do since he was 11. I wish my parents has spoken to me about careers as I didn't have a clue and as such left school and home at 16 and worked in retail for years.

We did and are doing with our year 8 as they chose their GCSE options in year 8 and start them in year 9. Doesn’t have to be a final answer but it’s easier to pick options of you have a few options of areas of interest.

My parents took no interest in what I wanted to do when I left school, save that I "got job" and paid for "my keep". They assumed I would work in a shop or an office like my contemporaries. When the school began talking about my staying on to do A levels and then going to university or teacher training college they were quite negative because it would mean deferring the time when I could contribute to the family budget (1960s). They kept telling me my ambitions were unrealistic and that I had ideas "above my class". In the event I was not allowed to stay on to do A levels, but managed to get a "snobby" job as a library assistant. Being under 18 I was sent to college one day a week by my employer. My parents were none too pleased about that either (more unrealistic ideas) and definitely vetoed my going to full time college for two years in order to qualify as a librarian.

Children now take it for granted that they can go to university or train for a career. It was not like that back then. I cant recall ever discussing my career ambitions with my parents. It was my grandmother and an uncle who encouraged me.

It is useful to start thinking about it, GCSE choices have an impact on A Levels.

If had my time again I’d have done a degree apprenticeship, they are introduced the year I graduated uni. It pains me I could have done the exact same course and leave with the same qualification but be paid to do it instead of having £60,000 worth of student debt.

@Bowtie292

Thankyou. I'll have a Google, I think a quizz might be a good starting point. I think he probably needs to decide if he wants to go down the academic route or not 1st. I'm not sure it's for him really. My DH's side is all tradesmen whilst I work in life sciences. He's clever enough for uni but I think if you don't really have that passion for education it's an up hill struggle. He enjoys DT and maths is his strongest subject.

Well if he's good and maths and enjoys that kind of stuff has he ever had any exposure to engineering? Maybe civil engineering, surveying? Check out the various professional bodies. Try programmes from Class of Your Own and similar groups. Does he like architecture?

www.classofyourown.com
info.lse.ac.uk/current-students/careers/information-and-resources/employment-sectors/built-environment

Flowers500

There are so many options for them, have they ever tried any kind of work experience or shadowing? He's just turned 12 so no, he hasn't, I'm not sure what 12 year old would have done work experience at this age particularly off the back of a pandemic? Any ideas?

Have you ever taken them to see a court case, encouraged them to mentor younger students, let them try some art classes, taking them to visit castles, watched documentaries about the origin of the planet, gone to a nature sanctuary, done a science museum, written an article, watched Prime Minister's Questions, read literature, done a coding course, helped out in an office, anything like this? Does he enjoy being outside, is he sociable or does he prefer working alone, is he practical, does he like writing, does technology interest him?

He's never been to see a court case, he's helped in the school office and has been chosen to return to his primary school to give a talk to the year 6's on secondary school life. I'm a hobby painter/crafter so he enjoys watching me and helping with various projects, DH is a history boff so lots of visits to castles when he was younger which he loved but now finds boring, we've done all the usual trips to science museums etc. I talk to him about my work all the time but I don't think science is his forte. No interest in tech, he's massively into mountain biking and hiking, can bake a mean Victoria sponge.

So far from knowing what I wanted to do, I did a completely different degree in Uni to where I actually ended up with my career (and I only started Uni aged 20).

I actually got really annoyed with DS's year 6 teacher as he kept pushing them to say what they wanted to be when they grew up - turned out it was for some leaving primary school photo opp where they all held up boards with their chosen careers on (about 50% YouTuber ) DS was getting really stressed as he had no idea and apparently it wasn't good enough to say he wanted to travel or learn a language etc

Anyway, he's now year 9 and he's got a pretty clear idea that he wants to do something in sports. He'll definitely be choosing PE as a GCSE option so we're working towards that by picking up a couple of extra curricular sports for him. When the time comes to choose GCSEs at the end of the year we'll talk more about exactly what field he wants to be in and whether that means he'll lean more to arts or sciences - at the moment everything from sports journalist to physio to PE teacher to sports psychologist seems to be on the table!

It's worth talking/thinking about as GCSE choices lead into A levels, lead into degree etc.

Good god at 12-13 my dc will only be literally STARTING secondary school I can't imagine them having to make decisions on career paths that early!! That's bonkers!
In Ireland you only whittle down you subjects at age 16/17!!

One of our kids knew at age 8 what he wanted to do, told us, never changed his mind, focussed, achieved, qualified and still does it. He is recognised in his field as being exceptionally good at what he does but none of that matters to him. The JOY OF DOING IT is all he ever wanted. He is one happy man and it shines out of him.

It never occurred to me to discuss his future with other parents because, well, he was just a little boy.

IToldYouIWasFreaky I actually got really annoyed with DS's year 6 teacher as he kept pushing them to say what they wanted to be when they grew up - turned out it was for some leaving primary school photo opp where they all held up boards with their chosen careers on (about 50% YouTuber hmm) DS was getting really stressed as he had no idea and apparently it wasn't good enough to say he wanted to travel or learn a language etc

This has reminded me of DS's year 6 leavers book. They had to write what they wanted to be when they were older and then had to describe themselves in 3 words. He wrote that he wanted to be a hippo farm and the 3 words to describe himself were 'future hippo farmer'. 😆