Year 8 parents asking what DC want to do for a career, should they know at this age?!!

[Bowtie292]

The kids are 12-13 years old. Lots of chat amongst the mums going on now about what their plans are for the future. DS hasn't got a clue, all he knows is that he doesn't like school much. Should I be talking more to him about career paths etc? It's not something we've ever really spoken about. The only thing I've said is that university is not the holy grail and if he wants to do something like plumbing etc he has those options too. He's in set 1 for everything but he's not particularly academic and I know from personal experience that it's just assumed you'll go down the uni route. Any thoughts/experiences?

How do help them when you don't know anything about these industries yourself? If he was interested in science or a trade then we'd be able to give him plenty of guidance.

DD2 got called out by a teacher at about the same age for saying in the future she wanted to be "happy". Sounds a good aspiration to me! She still has no idea what she wants to do, but is doing A Levels in subjects she enjoys and fortunately complement each other.

DD1 had absolutely no idea and also did the subjects she enjoyed, we thought they didn't work together until she did work experience in Year 12, in a job which we didn't even know existed- she's now doing a degree apprenticeship which combines her favourites subjects (food tech and science).

I think it's really hard as there are so many jobs out there that we don't even know exist, how can we advise our children, particularly when it's a different industry to our own?

Just Google it with them.

Know one is expecting you to be a careers expert. It's more just the conversation and the subsequent light research at this age.

So, knowing what area he is interested in and what GCSE's broadly relate.

At this age I would may start to discuss that education is the stepping stone into work. Point out different jobs when you watch TV. Just because he is not academic at 12 does not mean he wouldn’t be at 17.

When I was 12 I had no idea.
When I was 18 I still had no idea.
When I was 23 I thought I knew but then when I was 26 I realised I didn't.
Now I'm 34 and I still have no idea.

He'll definitely be choosing PE as a GCSE option

Is PE a gcse option? It's a mandatory subject now, does your school do "mandatory PE" and "GCSE PE" as separate things?

@Bowtie292

How do help them when you don't know anything about these industries yourself? If he was interested in science or a trade then we'd be able to give him plenty of guidance.

You could encourage them to talk to family and friends in different sectors.

When I was at school we had a careers project in year 9 PSHE ahead of selecting GCSE options.

I remember speaking to family members, friends of my parents and some of their grown up kids, work colleagues of my parents, and adults I knew through hobbies as part of my research.

Online research is much easier now but one of the big problems is knowing what jobs are out there and what they involve if you don't have any exposure to them.

The other thing is to consider broad sectors eg. Legal, finance, civil service and look into roles within a sector that is of interest.

Also look at grad schemes for some major employers and see what is involved, what their requirements are, what roles they direct towards.

It is gradual at this age though, just a question of keeping options open and not shutting anything off. A broad idea of A-levels and degree v vocational training might be useful sooner rather than later though.

@sirfredfredgeorge

He'll definitely be choosing PE as a GCSE option

Is PE a gcse option? It's a mandatory subject now, does your school do "mandatory PE" and "GCSE PE" as separate things?

Yes, I thought most schools did? I remember when I was at school doing PE up to year 11 as a core subject (DS did not get his sporting abilities from me...) and it also being offered as a GSCE subject, with GSCE students doing more practical lessons as well as theory.

@Bowtie292

IToldYouIWasFreaky I actually got really annoyed with DS's year 6 teacher as he kept pushing them to say what they wanted to be when they grew up - turned out it was for some leaving primary school photo opp where they all held up boards with their chosen careers on (about 50% YouTuber hmm) DS was getting really stressed as he had no idea and apparently it wasn't good enough to say he wanted to travel or learn a language etc

This has reminded me of DS's year 6 leavers book. They had to write what they wanted to be when they were older and then had to describe themselves in 3 words. He wrote that he wanted to be a hippo farm and the 3 words to describe himself were 'future hippo farmer'. 😆

That's so funny! If hippo farming doesn't take off, maybe a career in comedy?!

I've only really figured out what I want to do in my thirties and even now I'm not really sure exactly!

DS1 who is 12 wants to be a game developer or programmer, but that's what he's always said since about age 7, DH works in this field. What he's actually been saying for the past couple of years is that he wants to go and live in Japan for a year. That seems fairly unlikely unless he's self funding or possibly teaching EFL, but EFL would need to be after uni as far as I'm aware at the moment, you need the degree for the visa.

Think DH and I probably do steer him towards uni a bit because neither of us were able to finish (circumstance not failure) and we're a bit regretful of that. But I know if he had a specific other plan say an apprenticeship we'd be supportive of that as well. We just don't want him to leave school with essentially nothing as we kind of have.

At fake try out your careers kind of events the one he's enjoyed the most was working in the snack bar. So he's quite keen for a weekend job at McDonald's.

I had an idea at that age. Ended up doing something completely different. It's good to know what you're interested in vaguely for GCSE choices but if they don't know just tell them to do what they enjoy.

Ds 14 doing GCSE PE which actually will give him 2 GCSEs as he gains a coaching GCSE as well.
He has no idea what he wants to do really but we have talked about what subjects he enjoys, what ones for ALevel and explored degree options. I think it is good to have discussions as there are lots of jobs etc now that did not exist 20 years ago and you can be surprised what is out there for them to go on to.

I went to uni still not knowing what career I wanted to do, i just did subjects I enjoyed and was good at!
I think careers like medicine, teaching, nursing, police, etc people often know they want to go into from an early age but most people don't. I was watching "Sixteen" on C4 recently and loads of the kids on that didn't know what they wanted to do after GCSEs and they seemed really young to be making decisions about careers although if you're not doing Alevels I guess you often need to make that choice earlier.

DS 14 knows what he doesnt want to do bit as to what he wants to do its a bit up in the air.

DS 11 hasn't got a clue apart from swim in the Olympics

I'm 37 and still don't know.

Isn;t it one of those boring questions adults ask when they don;t know what to say?

FWIW I just tell my DCs that they should study the things they enjoy.

I work with many teens and some get themselves into a tizzy because they keep being asked what they want to do and they just don't know.
I always reassure them that on the whole it doesn't matter to much. If they get a job and have basic qualifications as they mature different opportunties will open up to them. I remind them that I didn't know what I wanted to do and the job I do didn't even exist when I was at school so who knows what's going to happen in the future.

Both of my kids have really different jobs to their year 8 dreams. DS2 wanted to go to uni. He did some GCSE's in year 10 and got great grades and was on course for an A levels and uni and turned it down. He is doing something I never expected and absolutely loves his working life. DS1 was no academic in the slightest and wanted to work. He didn't want college and uni. He know has a great job and his employers are paying for his degree.

Who knows how things are going to turn out!

Remember to keep options open if he doesn’t know what he wants to do.

My brother didn’t love school but is actually really bright. My parents pushed him into a “practical” career (similar to a trade, training by apprenticeship) but he’s now really bored in his mid 20s as there is no progression and he doesn’t get to use his brain much.

He probably would have done well in a technical bit practical field that you can learn on the job i.e software engineering, some kind of construction management, sciences testing that there are now apprenticeships to learn.

So I would say talk to him about it but the emphasis being that he should be interested in and learn about all the options available (and some of less the usual ones rather than just university or a trade).

I think you can now even become a stockbroker via an apprenticeship!

At 12 I had no idea what I wanted to do and changed my mind several times before I reached adulthood, probably only really knew what I wanted to do aged 21 having done a year of work as part of my degree (and at 50 that's what I do). We're telling the DC to do academic subjects at GCSE to keep their options open and always talk in terms of university. University gives you time to grow and develop and live away from home. Why would you not go to University if you're bright? Plus for girls in particular, it increases your earning potential. That said I know that some apprenticeship degrees are excellent but I think you need a clear idea of what you are doing and for many people a degree where you can explore different options is a more flexible option (particularly one with a year in industry).

I think it’s important to talk about in a general way ahead of GCSE options as not taking some subjects forward could make some careers more difficult than others or even impossible (eg if not taking specific languages forward you can’t take at A-level, can’t study at university etc).
I wouldn’t expect most people to be working at age 30 or 40 in the career they’d have predicted at 12 years old but a vague direction is probably realistic.

I believe that as a rule, kids who know what they want to do from an early age have more successful careers. But then that stands to reason if you focus on that since childhood.

However its unusual and more kids don't know than do.

I'm 43 and clueless as to what i want to do when I grow up.

I think this is probably the single thing that private and high performing schools do better than others. They get children interested in their careers at an early stage and it just feels natural by the time you’re 12 to be aiming high and thinking everything is open to you, knowing so much about a wide variety of different paths. It’s about your long term life, not the next few years—a lot of really bright kids who have some ambition in them might be happy “just working” in their 20s but they’ll be bloody miserable when they can never do anything more with their life, never feel like they’re actually skilled or going anywhere, never work their way up anywhere.

If he’s bright or ambitious a degree in maths, physics, statistics or engineering from a good uni opens lots of opportunities. It’s not about knowing which one of the many opportunities he’ll ultimately take. Doing a plumbing apprenticeship will mean he has an income for life (and a decent one), but he’s have to decide if he’s happy with that being all he can ever do—if university is an option for him then there are real plusses to this path, a whole variety of work, the option to travel, ways to upskill and specialise, opportunities to do a whole lot more.

I think this is probably the single thing that private and high performing schools do better than others. They get children interested in their careers at an early stage

My ds goes to a state school. They've been talking to them about career choices since year 7 with various speakers coming in and career quizzes and questionnaires

@Bowtie292 I love this topic of careers and have mentored youth, colleagues, as well as got my own partner who started uni in his 30s with my encouragement.

You need a starting point of what he is interested in. I put this together for a girl I was mentoring who had a few interests and I wanted her to see that she might actually combine some and not have to pick.

I filled in a lot of the boxes but had put it on LinkedIn (my network is big because I had a few large employers). Seeing what my friends and former colleagues added was so eye opening.

There is literally a job for everything!

Try to see this careers stuff not as a burden but something you can learn about together. For example, my DP studies something technical and I researched potential employers and helped him add to his watchlist while he did the applications.

Good luck to you and your DS

Tbh all the talk of careers did was make me very anxious and feel useless because of this enormous pressure (and yes it did feel like pressure) to know what you wanted to do as an adult.

I went to a high performing school and performed well.

Got into a prestigious and difficult course to get into at a good university.

Still wasn't convinced it was what I wanted to do.

I enjoyed it but yeah didn't really get me knowing where i wanted to be.

When i chose my A levels and Degree I literally went through everything by process of elimination of what I didn't want to do...