Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Toddler twins have nearly broken me today

43 replies

didihearthatright123456 · 15/09/2021 21:41

I’ve had an horrendous day, 2 year olds twins and who right in the middle of the terrible twos

Started off when one of my girls pushed the other. This wasn’t a one off, this was one of many times this morning. Gave her a firm telling off and made to sit and have a time out - well that didn’t work, the worst tantrum I’ve even seen her have. Crying so much I thought she was going to vomit. This must have gone on for 30 minutes.

Then off to playgroup at our local church. They were climbing all over, one of them started throwing everything (I had stern words with her and eventually had her sat with me for 5 min whilst she calmed down. They had a lovely 1.5 hour nap and then in the afternoon we went down to our local playground, followed by a quick trip to the library.

That was horrific, one of them continuously trying to climb on book cases and then running off rather than picking books to take home. Another absolute meltdown followed, screaming, kicking, throwing herself on the floor etc etc.

Thank the lord they ate their tea, but then the emotional turmoil continued after bath time. I literally asked one of my girls if she’d like a little drink of milk before bed, queue epic crying, throwing herself on the floor, refusing be picked up, just sobbing at the thought of a pleasant drink before her. I was so feckin relieved to get them into bed at 6.30pm

I seem to be having more bad days than good at the moment, I hate how one of our girls is more and more upset, it takes her so long to come around and have cuddles.

Can anyone out there empathise, what strategies do you have for getting through those meltdowns, I feel totally outnumbered when I am out with them on my own. I can feel the eyes of people on me, but twins is so so hard.

OP posts:

Ohshittt · 15/09/2021 21:49

I don't have twins but I certainly would not be eyeing up a mother with twins having a hard day, you sound like my hero! But in practical terms maybe try not filling your days so much, getting out is definitely important but that sounds like you are giving yourself a harder time than needs be? Maybe just the morning or afternoon and spend the rest of the day at home? I'm just trying to give an outside view but honestly you sound amazing, I have one 2 year old and I'm ready for bed at 6pm! You are doing so well with 2!

EspressoDoubleShot · 15/09/2021 21:50

Oh poor you! Yes the eyes..the well if they were mine eyes I’d…
Yea, you’d do what. Come in then super nanny have a go with two tires irascible toddlers
Have a cuppa, congratulations on getting through a hard day

Original poster

didihearthatright123456 · 15/09/2021 21:52

Thank you! Do you toddlers have similar emotional days? Honestly I was almost walking on eggshells by the end of the day just in case she burst into tears again 😂

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families

Original poster

didihearthatright123456 · 15/09/2021 21:54

@Ohshittt

Lol thank you, now that I read it back it does sound like quite a busy day doesn’t it. I usually find being out of the house easier due to the amount of bickering we have. On the weekend it’s not as bad as I have my DH around so I don’t feel like quite so outnumbered 😂

OP posts:

EspressoDoubleShot · 15/09/2021 21:56

Hell yea. I have had people step over them tutting. Muttering you think as a mum she’d just….
Everyone else has catalogue children all ruddy cheeks,clean clothes, mild mannered

happytoday73 · 15/09/2021 22:01

🍷💐....
Twins are hard...
No tips but to quote a former boss on coping with toddlers... you've all survived the day so that's a positive🤣

People watch twins... I admit I do.. Thinking that looks hard... I'm sure many you think are judging are same as me

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/09/2021 22:04

Sometimes they are just like that! Mine are 3y7m and pretty good but BoyTwin was constantly hitting and pinching his sister today and then bit me at bedtime!

I work but when I have them on weekends I find the best days go like this -

after breakfast "sweet spot" where they will play for a short time and I can tidy up

Then OUT anywhere outside but pref a walk. They just run and you can see how much energy they have. Then they're not taking it out on each other. Our local NT property is great for this or meeting up with a friend with a dog.

Promise small treat (yo-yo etc) if good during lunch and they mostly tend to be as temporarily tired out from running

After lunch get them "helping" usually something like "washing the car" with the hose, looking for worms - focused on task makes them less likely to go for each other

Then supervised play like stories or drawing where they are not competing with each other iyswim so less likely to get wound up

Then tidying up for 5 mins and if they do it nicely, they can watch some iPad whilst I get dinner

Then at bedtime, I shower them separately now as less splash fights, fights over bath toys

Story together but each allowed to take a picture book into bed to look at IF they are good

Also star chart for bedtime behaviour though yours probably a bit young for this

But basically whole day structured around "keeping them in tandem" not "in competition" - if that makes sense?! Making sure they are not fighting over same stuff or bored so getting at each other.

That plus loads of outdoor time. When mine were 2, I used to take them to the park with 2 tennis balls and play fetch to wear them out. Seriously, people stared but they loved it!

Rrrob · 15/09/2021 22:05

I have toddler twins, slightly younger than yours. They are bloody hard work. But don’t forget, tomorrow is another day and hopefully will be better. When I need a moment to breathe, I give them loads of snacks....raisins and breadsticks because they take a while to eat...and stick peppa pig on.
Do you have a twin club near you? I feel the same about people watching/ I’m always the stressed one at “normal” groups, but at our local twin playgroup, everything is SO much more relaxed.

Original poster

didihearthatright123456 · 15/09/2021 22:08

Fabulous run down and so helpful thank you xx

OP posts:

Original poster

didihearthatright123456 · 15/09/2021 22:11

@Rrrob

I have toddler twins, slightly younger than yours. They are bloody hard work. But don’t forget, tomorrow is another day and hopefully will be better. When I need a moment to breathe, I give them loads of snacks....raisins and breadsticks because they take a while to eat...and stick peppa pig on. Do you have a twin club near you? I feel the same about people watching/ I’m always the stressed one at “normal” groups, but at our local twin playgroup, everything is SO much more relaxed.

Yes and no, it’s been closed since first lockdown but also ran on a Tuesday which is now a work day for me. I agree though it’s a different atmosphere and you definitely feel more relaxed as you know everyone is in the same boat xx

OP posts:

thatsnotmyzoo · 15/09/2021 22:11

@EspressoDoubleShot

Hell yea. I have had people step over them tutting. Muttering you think as a mum she’d just…. Everyone else has catalogue children all ruddy cheeks,clean clothes, mild mannered

One is one and two is ten.

Have a drink OP. I’ve got a singleton and I’ve no idea how you are still alive.

womaninatightspot · 15/09/2021 22:17

I have twins and quite frankly the terrible twos were horrendous but by 3. 25 it was awesome. They'd play nicely together for hours with teasets and builders tables and endless duplo. Lovely to listen to them chatter away to each other. They are six now and are so much fun. All you have to do is survive a bit longer and it'll get easier.

CaptainCarp · 15/09/2021 22:17

Everyone is alive & fed OP so that's a win!

No twins here but can remember DSC was 3 I think they had delayed terrible 2s! Sometimes it felt like the whole day was spent telling off / "arguing" & in time out.

I can only imagine what it is like with 2!

Also sometimes people look when they hear a kid having a tantrum & are quite possibly thinking "I'm glad it's not me this time" or similar. I know it's not helpful but just that some of the looks may not be judgy/disapproving.

Do you get some "me time" in the weekends when DH is around?
Even just an hour or 2 to get a coffee & sit & read a book?

2bazookas · 15/09/2021 22:28

When you're out and about with them in places where they can't just run riot, I recommend harness reins. Then they have a little bit of freedom (without having their hand held) but stay within reach and under your control. Unable to escape, run away in opposite directions, climb up shelves etc.

Persevere, it will get better :-)

SpiderinaWingMirror · 15/09/2021 22:28

Ever tried just checking yourself on the floor next to them and wailing?
Stopped one of mine in their tracks

Badlytornfrube · 15/09/2021 22:28

Mine are 2 years 2 months. Both still awake. They have been a nightmare all day. No advice. Just letting you know that you are not alone.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/09/2021 22:33

Nad yeah it totally gets better. Mine tell each other they love each other a lot. Between hitting each other 🤣 and apparently when DT1 goes to the loo at preschool, DT2 asks the staff "what have you done with my twin?!" Very sternly.

Mine will be in school in 12 mos which is just 😱😱😱

Panda8383 · 15/09/2021 22:35

I have a 3 year and a 2 year old, I can completely relate to you, love to them to bits but sometimes they are really hard work, if one does something naughty the other ones copies thinking it’s funny, they never listen to what you are telling them, they are good boys just need to be occupied every minute of the day cx

villainousbroodmare · 15/09/2021 22:38

Mine are 3 and a bit and I also have a 6yo. One adult can't take them anywhere at all. They will just go off in different directions and one will inevitably go on strike. I can't lift them both together. Genuinely, since we left the buggy days behind it is one adult per twin or stay at home. I even have my heart in my mouth getting 50 yards from the preschool gate to the car.

Goldbar · 15/09/2021 22:52

I have no advice unfortunately, nothing but admiration for you.

How do you do it? Do you tie them to you/ the buggy? I can't imagine surviving without doing that (mine was a bolter). Or are you an expert at making instant safety judgements? Along the lines of "Twin 1 is currently climbing the bookcase but I reckon they've got 20 more seconds before they pull it over so I'll chase Twin 2 who's headed out the door towards the road" . Do you know, before I had a child, I thought triplets were the cutest thing ever.

Cocomumma · 15/09/2021 23:08

I have twins who are now 10 and I will tell you it gets better!

I was and still am a single parent to mine from pregnancy, it was the single most hardest thing I have ever done and it was around the age that your dc are now that I broke!
Ds1 who is still sometimes a nightmare had a massive tantrum in the middle of a shopping centre and got lost despite being on reins, when I did find him I sat on the floor in front of hundreds of people and just sobbed, I couldn't take it anymore.
The next day I called my health visitor and they was in nursery within a week as I just needed a break, so if that's a possibility for you take it with both hands you will never look back.
It made me a better mum because I was able to get things done at home, prepare dinner and just have a wee and wash my hair in peace

There are still days like today when I just want to run away as all they've done is bicker, but on the whole as they get to about 3-4 & older they become more enjoyable and fun to be around.

Newmum29 · 15/09/2021 23:21

Just wanted to say you’re a saint, no advice is my LO is only 5 months but twins are just such a different level of difficulty and I take my hat off to you. That’s a big day. Group, park and library. Maybe plan a bit less just for your own sake?

Bobsyer · 16/09/2021 00:07

I once had two year old twins. Generally pretty ok but they had their moments. They’re 12 now so have a whole ‘nother set of situations to navigate!

I remember dragging one round Tesco while the other nicely held my hand as we got essentials, then walking home in tears so embarrassed and upset. Not one person said anything supportive or even gave me a friendly look

Gilead · 16/09/2021 01:27

I remember one of my twins crying all the way home from nursery (a good fifteen minute walk) because the grass was too green!
I feel for you. Like a couple of other posters I wonder if you need a little less input, playgroup, library, park does sound a lot.
If it’s any consolation, my are mid twenties now and delightful young women, it gets better!

Susannahmoody · 16/09/2021 01:42

Do you know, before I had a child, I thought triplets were the cutest thing ever.

A woman near me had triplets. She said she didn't leave the house with all 3 until they were 3 years old.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread