How far from school do you go on a day? (Possibly Irrational question...)

[PalmarisLongus]

Long story short. I went for a walk today after morning drop off and got about 2 hours from school.
I got a bit concerned that if my daughter needed me, I'd be 2 hours from her, she's 8.

Is this a weird and an irrational worry? Do schools have things in place just in case? Or do other parents stay close to schools just in case?

In the past, I've thought about getting a bus to the nearest big city, but then I might end up 3 hours away and I haven't done it just in case.

For what it's worth, I dont have anyone to pick her up and I don't drive so bus and feet are my only transport.

To be fair if I was at home and my child got sick, I'd have to walk 25 minutes to the school to get her.
But if she was ill in a morning, I'd not send her. I'm not sure if expect another parent to leave work and go get daughter if she was vomiting etc.

I had this conversation with my Mum yesterday after DCs school were a bit huffy that it took us 45 mins to collect DD who wasn't even that ill and should have been sent back to class.

Anyway, Mum pointed out that in her schooldays (50s-60s), there was no phoning home. Many families didn't have home phones so poorly children just waited at school until the end of the day. Also, most parents didn't have cars to come and collect children and instead relied on the school buses which only ran at the start and end of the day.
Even in my childhood (80s), although my Mum and most of my friends' mums were SAHMs, they didn't stay in all day and without mobile phones, they weren't contactable unless they were actually in the house (or at a desk job). If we were poorly at school we were sent either to the library to rest on a beanbag, or to sit by the sinks (if we felt sick). You either stayed there until the end of the day or returned to class if you perked up.

@Jellycatspyjamas

You described children being left for 3 hours after school finished on what sounded like a regular basis. That is negligent, and as a social worker we would get a call from the school if a child wasn’t collected - I’d routinely wait at the social work office with a child who wasn’t collected at the end of the school day.

What you’ve then described are all the reasons why a child might need collected during the school day, which is a very different thing. It could easily take me 40 minutes to get to school if I was at work, i don’t have the gift of teleportation so can’t do it any quicker. I don’t have family close by, and there aren’t many of the situations you’ve noted that I’d expect another parent to deal with for my child, so my child will need to wait for me or DH to get there.

In 4 years of parenting two school aged children I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been called to come and get them and they’ve had to wait more than 20 minutes. In those situations they really do need to wait, no matter how inconvenient it may be to the school, because I can’t do it any quicker.

It is a regular thing that children aren't collected - and it's not always the same ones. 40 minutes is standard, 20 is fantastic. But there are regularly ones left for hours. I suppose everybody knows some mug at school will decide they can't leave a sick kid standing alone outside the gates in the pissing rain of a November night not as if the SW will be able to attend before about 7pm anyhow .

Interesting that you say it's inconvenient for us. Fine, have your child back with a free dose of Covid from having to sit with somebody else's child for several hours because they say they can't teleport in either. Assuming my vaccine works, it's no inconvenience to me for them to share viruses.

I'm less impressed at working as a free babysitter after hours because it's easier for the parent who tells themselves I'm just mildly inconvenienced by needing to get multiple children out before it becomes a public health matter/outbreak of Norovirus/Covid/Flu/Chickenpox/Scarlet Fever/Measles/etc and they don't accept that their child is feeling as hurt by the failure or outright refusal to come and get them as they are.

My point was it's not just your child. It can be 20 people's children. It's not a 40 minute pickup. It's the 4-10 hour wait. Which is why I listed the multiple things that can also need to be dealt with at the same time when parents have a mental image of their child being the only one and fine in Medical all day with the woman on the phone. And why it's so important for parents to at least have emergency contacts for the non-ambulance events.

Anyhow, I don't do that job anymore. And I'm glad of that, even if I miss the kids themselves. Because I couldn't make everything better with an ice pack or a magic plaster for all of them.

When I was at school (secondary) my brother had to go to hospital in an ambulance so they sent me with him but without an adult, this was before mobiles so we had to sit in A&E and wait for my mum to come and get us on the bus. They probably wouldn’t do that now.

I suppose everybody knows some mug at school will decide they can't leave a sick kid standing alone outside the gates in the pissing rain of a November night not as if the SW will be able to attend before about 7pm anyhow

I don’t know any school that would sit with a child from 3.00 until 6.00pm without treating that as a safeguarding issue. You’re conflating two separate issues - parents who don’t collect their children at the end of the school day is a different issue to parents who can’t get to school quickly to remove their kids during the school day.

I’ve had to collect my dcs before when ill. I usually have it so either me or DH are wfh or we had a nanny. And we also have a good friend who would collect them - she’s a SAHM and always about.

I have gained some phone numbers over time, but when DS started at school, I often was the only person "avaliable" as an emergency contact... except that required school contacting my school, getting a message manually through to my block, getting cover for my class and travelling back to our neighbourhood. DH was easier if he was in the office, but he was spending a lot of time in other countries. Our family are spread through the UK and beyond. There was no one else. That simple.

Fortunately the day that my 1hr outing turned into a 5 hour gridlock across the region, I had one phone number for a parent and at 1pm realising that there was zero chance of being back by 3pm and managed to make arrangements.

I go running and can end up an hour away on foot and not direct for public transport. Fortunately I've only been called on the tail end when I've been within the final 10 mins of the neighbourhood. That was nursery days. Generally I've been rung at home and can be there in 5-10 mins. If a DC is in a flakey state, I'll do chores in the morning and be home by afternoon as school is more likely to ring after lunch and the afternoon mark.

I will reasonably get over as soon as I can, but won't restrict my life so that I can always be there near instantly.

The one that gets me is youth group residentials where you ask for contacts for that particular weekend...and the parents leave the landline then bugger off 100 miles away leaving you with a vomity child and no contacts (add in both getting drunk and not having a way to collect child without compromising youth group leader ratios).

I work 1.5 hours away from the school, dp is normally an hour. The school wanted a closer emergency contact when we started but we didn't have anyone. Dm has moved closer now so is only 45 mins away.

It is tricky to have an emergency contact who isn't pretty close. It's quite a big ask to pick up a sick dc who isn't yours.

As a working parent I have regularly done the school run and then driven to a meeting 2 hours away, dropped off at breakfast club and jumped on a train to London from the north.

Normally one of us parents is at a an office nearby, but both our commutes are 30 to 40 mins before wfh times.

In an actual (very unlikely) emergency I would expect someone from the safeguarding team to be the responsible adult and take care of my primary aged son until I was able to get there

For a birthday we once dropped Ds off at school and went to w theme park an hour away...

@Jellycatspyjamas

I suppose everybody knows some mug at school will decide they can't leave a sick kid standing alone outside the gates in the pissing rain of a November night not as if the SW will be able to attend before about 7pm anyhow

I don’t know any school that would sit with a child from 3.00 until 6.00pm without treating that as a safeguarding issue. You’re conflating two separate issues - parents who don’t collect their children at the end of the school day is a different issue to parents who can’t get to school quickly to remove their kids during the school day.

I'm not conflating it. Kid was ill from 8am, would have gone home by himself ordinarily at the end of the day, but was too ill to do it (41C fever according to the thermometer). So needed picking up early, needed picking up rather than being left to make their own way home, parent didn't arrive despite saying to the DSL they were on their way on multiple occasions through the day.

A 41C temperature requires immediate attention. The child should have been at A&E not at school waiting for a parent to collect.

@RupertTheCat

A 41C temperature requires immediate attention. The child should have been at A&E not at school waiting for a parent to collect.

You might have thought that the parent might have been interested in that fact, then?