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How much of your problems do you share with your parents?

60 replies

Hotbot272 · 15/09/2021 10:29

I've got a lot of problems at the moment. Just one thing after another, my health and DS's health are the main concerns and then lots of general life shit-issues in work, finances, house repair.

My mum and I are very close and I used to tell her everything but she's in her 70's now and I've started keeping stuff to myself, I don't want to burden her however, I'm really missing the support.

How much do you share or do you try and protect your parents too?

OP posts:
Etinox · 15/09/2021 10:36

Interesting. Normally everything, but I’m having a mare of a time at work and I’m getting a distinctly ‘unavailable’ vibe from dps, similar aged. It’s not helped by seeing them less f2f due to covid and schedules but I wonder whether I’m projecting and assuming they shouldn’t be burdened or whether they’ve got too much on their plate. Which gives me more to worry about!
Flowers

TheSpiral · 15/09/2021 10:41

Very little, as she stresses over everything and also she has enough to worry about with other family members I feel. She also in her 70s.
I am lucky not to have that many problems though. I might mention health issues , or work worries, but downplay them.

Roundearth · 15/09/2021 10:42

very little now she's in her 70s too and would worry too much. I pay for a therapist Instead Smile

PileOfBooks · 15/09/2021 10:42

Very little - disinterested parents. It's been difficult as life hasn't been great to us with health/money/ child issues and it would have been lovely to be able to talk things through/have a listening ear!

bloodywhitecat · 15/09/2021 10:45

As little as possible because she judges me and lets me down every single time. Even now, when DH has terminal cancer, she is not a person I can turn to without her judging how I am not doing things as she thinks I should.

DownUdderer · 15/09/2021 10:47

I try to down play some things and only discuss some things after it's over and done with. My parents are 70's. I don't like them worrying.

DogFoodPie · 15/09/2021 10:47

I do share a lot with my mum and she shares a lot with me. 70s isn't that old, my mum is still working and has a good idea of modern life and so on. I wouldn't base it on age anyway but on the individual person and their personality etc.

BrilloPaddy · 15/09/2021 10:48

Absolutely nada. Both are too self absorbed to care. And that's not age related unfortunately.

trevthecat · 15/09/2021 10:48

I'm close with my parents, they are divorced. I tell my mum bits but not much to my dad.
My sister though, she knows everything

MrsPsmalls · 15/09/2021 10:51

Oh gosh mine are 84 and I tell them way too much! A but sanitised maybe, but loads. And I need to wind it in I think.

idontlikealdi · 15/09/2021 10:57

Not too much, we have a pretty good relationship but they're my parents I don't need or want them to know the ins and outs of everything.

badlydrawnbear · 15/09/2021 10:59

None at all. I never have. They are not that kind of parents.

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 15/09/2021 11:00

Dm late 60s is too enthralled in my other siblings life (attached at the hip. Spend pretty much most days with each other) and helping sibling even though she doesn't work and has a lot of time on her hands.
She has depression although never manages it well so dm fusses her.

I stepped back because the only day I have off work for us to catch up properly she now spends helping sibling g with something and I get a quick half hour if I'm lucky sat in my garden before she rushes off.

She also tells sibling literally everything and half the time she gets it bloody wrong so I just don't bother anymore.

She's also very self absorbed like a pp said about theirs so she doesn't really take in what I'm saying as she's too busy telling me about her problem.

Stressful time at work? She says just go sick (don't get sick pay)

Finances a pain after Covid? Tighten your belt (can't tighten it anymore with two teenagers in the house)

It's like she's forgotten what it's like to be working poor with a family to keep and we grew up skint.

They've not been skint for years and she's not bloody worked for years so totally forgotten

I find it frustrating so don't bother now

Chicchicchicchiclana · 15/09/2021 11:01

A big fat zero. Learned from a very young age that it would just mean I'd have to manage her anxiety/worry over any problem (major or minor) that I might have.

My mother offloads all her cares onto me, always has, never the other way round.

Aria2015 · 15/09/2021 11:03

I pretty much share everything with my mum. She's in her 70's but would be gutted if I held back on account of her age! I never trouble her when she's away somewhere though or has something nice planned as I don't want to spoil things for her, but I've always done that and it's not related to her age.

KidsAreMean · 15/09/2021 11:07

Absolutely nada. Both are too self absorbed to care. And that's not age related unfortunately.
Same.

NerrSnerr · 15/09/2021 11:09

Nothing, not discussed anything for years. Off sick from work at the moment with an asthma flair up, I'm not 100% sure they even know I have asthma.

TalesOfDrunkennessAndCruelty · 15/09/2021 11:10

Almost nothing, as she too is critical and harsh in her judgments.

confusedofengland · 15/09/2021 11:12

Barely anything. My mum is an alcoholic & critical of my ADHD DS & my dad is controlling & easily upset. I share a lot with my sisters though.

DialsMavis · 15/09/2021 11:12

As little as possible to stop her worrying/judging/going on at me

ChiefAdjusterOfRubensShorts · 15/09/2021 11:30

Health problems yes, anything else absolutely not. DF just judges (when he really has no room to judge anyone).

I did confide in my DM when she was with us as she was the absolute soul of discretion.

LadyJaye · 15/09/2021 11:45

Very little. My mother is a very anxious, Type A personality and I keep her on a strict 'need to know' information diet.

However, I'm very fortunate to have both a relatively unproblematic life, and a very close relationship with an older sibling upon whom I can unload if necessary.

PileOfBooks · 15/09/2021 12:03

I am cravinf an unproblematic life!

EishetChayil · 15/09/2021 12:11

Zero. My mum is a major narcissist and makes everything about herself. She also blabs my business to all and sundry.

BogRollBOGOF · 15/09/2021 12:11

Not much. She'd either worry or be critical and neither reaction is supportive.