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Original poster

What time are you actually allowed to leave a wedding?

63 replies

WithABiffBangPow · 14/09/2021 21:03

Is it wedding law to have to stay until the bitter end?
Limp drunkenly across the midnight finishing line before you're finally allowed to crawl into a taxi and go to your bed?
I once got into a heap of trouble with a bride friend as I decided to leave her wedding at about 10pm and this upset her greatly, so now I feel like I have to stay at weddings long past the time I'd like to.
So, when is the earliest you can decently leave without upsetting anyone?

OP posts:

waybill · 22/09/2021 14:03

If it's an all-dayer, I'm raring to leave at about the time the people with small kids take them home and the elderly relatives start gathering their cardigans and whatnot. So around 9. If you leave with a bunch of other people it is not so noticeable. You can wave at the B&G over the head of Great Aunt Maud as they say goodbye to her, and make a quick getaway.

garlictwist · 22/09/2021 14:20

The last wedding I went to a few weeks ago I left at 9pm. I'd been there since 1pm and I'd had enough!

gannett · 22/09/2021 14:38

I'd usually say that individuals can leave as and when they please, a wedding shouldn't override your exhaustion or other life plans/circumstances.

But it's just not great for any party if everyone buggers off early. Friends of ours got married a couple of years ago, some of the latest to do so in a social circle that's been pretty hard-partying including at previous weddings. But by 11 so many people had given their excuses ("last tube"! "babysitter!" "got to be up early in the morning to take the kids swimming!") and instead of a big party they had about 6 people valiantly trying to keep the dancefloor going at 11.30 (including me and DP and both bride and groom). I could tell the bride was upset about it.

The next couple in that social circle to get married did the legalities separately and just started the party at 9pm to preempt the above.

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Weddings

ShowMeHow · 22/09/2021 14:52

Did you say goodbye ….or slope off quietly?

huuskymam · 22/09/2021 15:00

I left at 9pm once cause I had to go vote in the elections.

NoYOUbekind · 22/09/2021 15:03

@gannett

I'd usually say that individuals can leave as and when they please, a wedding shouldn't override your exhaustion or other life plans/circumstances.

The next couple in that social circle to get married did the legalities separately and just started the party at 9pm to preempt the above.

This. I've been to more than one wedding where it felt like everyone disappeared at 10.30pm and the Bride and Groom had planned fireworks, bacon butties and all sorts, because that is what had happened at all their peers' weddings before them, and were faced with an empty dancefloor. It's a real shame.

HarebrightCedarmoon · 22/09/2021 15:04

We left our own wedding reception at 11pm.

HalzTangz · 22/09/2021 15:04

@WithABiffBangPow

Is it wedding law to have to stay until the bitter end? Limp drunkenly across the midnight finishing line before you're finally allowed to crawl into a taxi and go to your bed? I once got into a heap of trouble with a bride friend as I decided to leave her wedding at about 10pm and this upset her greatly, so now I feel like I have to stay at weddings long past the time I'd like to. So, when is the earliest you can decently leave without upsetting anyone?

I stay for one drink after speeches then I'm outta there

BubbleCoffee · 22/09/2021 15:07

You leave after the bride and groom. However it's up to the bride and groom to leave before it gets too late.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 22/09/2021 15:32

We left a recent one early, after the main events but before the dinner and disco. TBH the music is always so deafening - at least from previous experience - I really can’t bear it. But we were 3 related older (OK, fairly ancient) couples all staying in the same hotel, , and we had the (true) excuse of a wedding anniversary, so we went off for a quieter dinner for the 6 of us.

But we did apologetically inform the young couple well in advance, so they wouldn’t be paying for 6 wasted dinners. TBH I don’t suppose they gave a hoot about 6 old farts/fartettes pulling out! We did give them nice cash presents, which was probably far more important to them.

Having done it more than once, IMO having to stay to the bitter, very late end, when you can’t hear yourself think, let alone hold any sort of conversation, and you’re dying for your bed, is akin to torture.

burnoutbabe · 22/09/2021 18:12

This is why they shook ask who is going to attend the evening do (if invited to the day) as a lot of people are not bothered and just stay to be polite.

So invite more party people for the evening!

Which also means being local to those guests.

Peach01 · 22/09/2021 20:16

Whenever you want, but I wouldn't leave before the first dance.

Original poster

WithABiffBangPow · 22/09/2021 20:55

I would never leave before the first dance, and I would definitely stay until all food stuffs (inc cake) had been served up as I really love to eat.
After that, it's just about watching drunk people get drunker and hoping that at least there's a conga line to break up the evening

OP posts:

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