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Original poster

Stalking Aibu?

33 replies

tortoiselover100 · 13/09/2021 20:44

Ok, so my new man keeps saying that he can't see me this weekend because he's going to xxx for work. But it's always when I might have a job for him, like I'm moving house this weekend, and now his work want him to be at Northampton all weekend. Which is mikes away from us. A few months ago, I was organising a party and was hoping he would help but work were sending him to Birmingham, again miles away.

We live separately

I'm tempted to buy a tracker so I can know if he is actually going to these places he says. Part of me thinks I shouldn't but a much bigger part of me thinks I should.

Remind me why it's so heinous, right now it feels like the right thing to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
tortoiselover100 · 13/09/2021 20:45

And has anyone got any recommendations for tracking devices 👺

OP posts:
DismantledKing · 13/09/2021 20:45

You sound nuts

Original poster
tortoiselover100 · 13/09/2021 20:47

Ok, we'll maybe I am, not a good enough reason not to. Try harder

OP posts:
Palavah · 13/09/2021 20:47

That's totally bizarre. Do not do this.

How long have you been an item? Have you actually asked him to help with something and he's said yes, or are you just assuming he'll help and then he makes himself scarce?

DismantledKing · 13/09/2021 20:48

Ok, in which case he needs to get far, far away from you as you sound fucking unhinged.
Happy to help.

Original poster
tortoiselover100 · 13/09/2021 20:48

It's less than a year, he's done this 5 or 6 times, always when a big job is looming where I might need his help.

OP posts:
HerRoyalRisesAgain · 13/09/2021 20:49

You are clearly not in a mentally healthy enough position to be in a relationship with anyone if you think this is how you behave.

PersonaNonGarter · 13/09/2021 20:50

This is not ok

Sparklingbrook · 13/09/2021 20:50

This reminds me of when Chandler told Janice he was being transferred to Yemen.
Stalking and tracking people is not normal.

barbrahunter · 13/09/2021 20:51

But...what if the OP is right?

Original poster
tortoiselover100 · 13/09/2021 20:51

How are you supposed to know if they're telling the truth??

OP posts:
LukeEvansWife · 13/09/2021 20:51

Don’t ever track someone. It is despicable. If he has any sense he would run for the hills

barbrahunter · 13/09/2021 20:51

I mean, what if the OP is right about what her partner is up to?

LukeEvansWife · 13/09/2021 20:52

If you don’t trust them then leave. Because no sane person is going to stay with someone who spies on them

DismantledKing · 13/09/2021 20:52

@barbrahunter

But...what if the OP is right?
Right about what? Doing something illegal to stalk someone?
Palavah · 13/09/2021 20:52

Have you actually asked him to help? Has he said yes?

LukeEvansWife · 13/09/2021 20:53

So it’s irrelevant whether he is up to anything. Let him go, worth on your mental health and don’t get into a relationship until you can do so without behaving in such a despicable way

KaycePollard · 13/09/2021 20:53

But it's always when I might have a job for him, like I'm moving house this weekend

YABU.

And potentially a criminal.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 13/09/2021 20:54

How are you supposed to know if they're telling the truth??

Trust. You clearly don't trust him so there's no point in bring with him

Corrievirtue · 13/09/2021 20:54

You need help. You sound unhinged. I hope he runs far...far away.

Original poster
tortoiselover100 · 13/09/2021 20:54

Ok, so it's illegal. That's a good enough reason not to do it.

OP posts:
TheChip · 13/09/2021 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 13/09/2021 20:57

Is he really a new man, or just some random bloke who you follow about, occasionally ask for favours, and he makes excuses nit to be near you?

DismantledKing · 13/09/2021 20:57

@tortoiselover100

Ok, so it's illegal. That's a good enough reason not to do it.
Of course it’s fucking illegal. Jesus.
Clarice99 · 13/09/2021 20:59

@tortoiselover100

And has anyone got any recommendations for tracking devices 👺
Erm, no.

You don't trust him, so end it. And then, invest in therapy as it sounds as though you have 'issues'.