What stupid thing did you believe?

[Soubriquet]

For a long time, I honestly believed money laundering was literally washing money in a washing machine and I wondered why it was so bad

The misapprehensions about the Channel Tunnel aren't totally daft as immersed tube 'tunnels' do exist. They're generally at least partly buried for their protection, and obviously not made of plastic or glass.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immersed_tube

Just a side note on the channel tunnel - I have a very vivid childhood memory of when the English and French tunnellers broke through to meet each other, there were news crews there for it and it was on the TV. I was absolutely certain that they were knocking bricks down, the same way a builder would a wall or Fred Dibnah a chimney, with a hammer and chisel. Bricks. Under all that water, sea bed and rocks . . . . . actually, I'm still adamant I saw bricks

Oh, and if you don't get a splinter out of your hand or foot or wherever (arse?) quickly then it will find a way into a vein, then an artery, travel to your heart, stab it . . . . . and you will die! I sort of still believe this and I'm getting on for 40.

When I was little and being raised by a single mother, we were on benefits for a while - my mum would go to the Post Office each week to collect that week's packet. I grew up believing that that if you needed money all you had to do is go to the Post Office and they'd give you some.

Mum was mortified.....

I must have been very small, but when I managed to get behind our big old ‘wireless’ to see the little people who were talking, I was SO disappointed to see only wires and light bulbs.

Here's a diagram of the Channel Tunnel to remove any lingering doubts!

images.app.goo.gl/wwRFi8TT6E3ZKrHn9

When DC1 was very small I found out that DH (in his 30s at the time) believed that 'feeding the ducks' in the park is actually a game, the aim of which is to throw the bread/seed etc as far as possible and that if you are very good at it you can stand further away from the water to throw. So all those parents and children standing close to the river and amongst the (very tame) ducks in our local park were beginners.

When I pointed out that he was the only Dad standing 6 feet from the water and throwing the bread almost to the other side he did eventually concede that perhaps there is no game and this was a story his mum had told him because she has a phobia of birds.

I only recently found out that 'pro bono' is Latin. I always thought it meant charitable work, named after U2's Bono !! I'm not normally such an idiot!

@Anothermothernamegame

I only recently found out that 'pro bono' is Latin. I always thought it meant charitable work, named after U2's Bono !! I'm not normally such an idiot!

Omg this just made me howl

I've just been in stitches for ages about the anecdote from the first page about people fighting their neighbours with swords!!

My silly thing was that I thought the words on the map were actually printed on the ground. I would go around trying to find the big K from Kent on the floor, for example.

@husbandcallsmepickle

I thought red wine was from purple grapes and white wine was from green grapes.

It isn't?! I thought that's what made it red or white!

I once asked my mum what happened to the cord after you have the baby, she went on about cord clamping and having to keep it clean until it falls off etc and I was like "I know all that 🙄 I mean what happens to my end?"

I'd thought the placenta broke down into blood and came out like a period so I couldn't fingers out how the cord came away, did the midwives just cut it as close to the vagina as they could and it would come away with the blood at some point?

My mum was horrified at my lack of knowledge and had to explain how you gave birth to the placenta and that's what people meant when they talked about "the after birth"

Thank god she cleared it up for me as I was 23 years old and 41 weeks pregnant! So it could have been a very embarrassing conversation in the hospital.

I believed because my mum told me that the huge house spiders don't make webs.

Obviously told me this so that if I saw a spider web I would think it was only home to a little spider.

I was embarrassed to find out the truth aged about 20 when I told other people this fact. Mum had actually forgotten she ever told me that.

My dh was adamant that the placenta would only be about the size of a fist. Kept telling him it would be about the size of a kidney dish but nope he wasn’t having it

He turned slightly green when it was delivered and the midwife offered to show him everything inside.

I still laugh when I think of this one. I had a similar thread to this under a different name. Someone on MN's husband thought terracotta pots from the garden centre were inexplicably cruel. MN'er was confused and asked why and her DH explained there surely was no need to kill turtles in order to steal their shells to make flower pots. MN'er said she just stared at him gape mouthed trying to figure out what her next steps should be

I remember that

@Soubriquet

I remember that

Genuinely it's one of my favourite ever stories on MN

Can someone please tell me who does decide to cross the road if it's not the guide dog?

I think it’s still the owner. They use their hearing to deduct if it’s safe. The dog will stop them if it isn’t and will happily walk across if it is.

Ah ok thank you!

@Soubriquet

I think it’s still the owner. They use their hearing to deduct if it’s safe. The dog will stop them if it isn’t and will happily walk across if it is.

Yes, this, @sproutsandparsnips, but if at a pedestrian crossing with traffic lights the dogs are trained to work out where the control box is and touch it with their nose so the owner can feel along their nose to find the button to press and the little thing under the box that vibrates when the crossing light turns green.

I’m not blind at all but if no one is around, I use the little knob thing under the box. I like feeling it turn

Surely a shed load is just the polite version of a shit load??

I think a 'shed' load probably came first, because it's a description of the scene when a lorry (or a horse-drawn cart) turns over and sheds its load.

Having briefly googled it, someone from Bratislava thinks I'm right!

We'll never know for sure...

So the guide dog has the veto and can decide not to cross the road.

I thought of this thread today when I saw a lorry laden with lots of sheds (stacked panels thereof). Can you imagine the headline if it had had an accieent... 'a lorry shed a shedload of its load of sheds.'

I thought all roads were connected eventually, so you could go down any road to get anywhere.
Cold War = ideological war involving espionage aplenty (not that people didn’t die).