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Original poster

What stupid thing did you believe?

357 replies

Soubriquet · 13/09/2021 16:23

For a long time, I honestly believed money laundering was literally washing money in a washing machine and I wondered why it was so bad Blush

OP posts:
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Original poster
Soubriquet · 14/09/2021 02:31

I used to think 7up was pronounced zup.

My dad took the piss out of me for years over that

OP posts:
Diddumz · 14/09/2021 03:10

I thought that mankind was only 30000 years old.

GreyCarpet · 14/09/2021 03:17

When I was 5 or 6, I misread the sign Boots The Dispensing Chemist as the Disappearing chemist. I was absolutely amazed by it because I thought it meant it was like the Land at the top of The Faraway Tree and Boots wouldn't always be there.

heygirlhey · 14/09/2021 03:40

Oh geez theee are so many -

Believed in Santa for years and even told my teachers this who eye rolled me - my dad had dressed up one year when I was very young and I didn’t realise, saw ‘santa’ on xMas eve late at night and obviously thought it was the real deal for years.

I used to think as a kid if I swallowed apple seeds a tree would literally grow from my stomach and up out my throat.

Used to think my gran was bloody ancient as her bday was 1/8/28 which I took as year 1828 when younger.

Used to think my dad knew everyone and had so many friends when out driving when he would ‘wave’ and drivers would ‘wave’ back when letting another car past on the road. 🙈

sashh · 14/09/2021 04:00

A few weeks ago my friend came out with a comment about someone, that he, "can swim but he can't float" after a bit more discussion it turns out she believes (still does) that black people can't float in water.

Guineapigbridge · 14/09/2021 04:05

@Itsmemaggie

I used to think that when a baby was born the doctor tied a knot in the umbilical cord and whether you had an innie or outie was a result of how good they were at tying knots!
I believed that until two seconds ago!!!! Shock
BigRedDuck · 14/09/2021 04:19

@BillyJoe111

I was a kid when the channel tunnel was being built.

I honestly envisaged it to be a big pipe sat on the floor of the English channel.

I didn’t realise the World Trade centre was two buildings. I was very confused when I saw on the news the lane going into the second tower (no excuse for that, I was 21).

YY to cold war - called that because Russia is cold.

I mean..... I definitely believed the channel tunnel was essentially a pipe at the bottom of the sea. What is it then? Shock
BigRedDuck · 14/09/2021 04:38

@MintyGreenDream

When I was little I used to be surprised at all the swearing on the turkeys in the freezer aisle.Ready basted.
I'm in tears 😂😂😂😂
BigRedDuck · 14/09/2021 04:40

@Boombadoom

That cows naturally produce milk, not that they needed to be pregnant and have offspring Blush
My husband grew up on a dairy farm. I better not tell him that I believed still believe this Blush
groovergirl · 14/09/2021 05:05

Saw Uri Geller on TV and became convinced that if I, like him, stared at a spoon long enough I bend it with the sheer laser-like force of my mind.
It was the 1970s. We wanted to believe in these things. The usefulness (not) of ruining a perfectly good spoon was lost on me.

gettingoldtoquick · 14/09/2021 06:01

On squash bottles I thought it said delight to taste instead of dilute to taste. For years I thought it was just really nice tasting juice.

sashh · 14/09/2021 06:31

I mean..... I definitely believed the channel tunnel was essentially a pipe at the bottom of the sea. What is it then

It's a tunnel, like all tunnels it goes through earth.

I know this is a really common idea but I just don't get it, other tunnels under water are the same whether it's the London underground or the Mersey tunnel.

Maskless · 14/09/2021 06:46

When I was aged 5-6-7, in the early 1960s nobody would tell me what caused some women to produce babies whilst others did not.

Eventually from months of observation of neighbours, parents' friends, schoolfriends' parents, teachers, shop assistants and my own family, the royal family and famous actresses on the news, and even by observing women in films and tv programmes, I worked it out all by myself.

It wasn't to do with being in the company of men, because women casually dating did not get pregnant.

I deduced that there was only one thing that it could be: a wedding ring, worn on one specific finger. I noticed that unmarried women wearing decorative rings avoided putting them on that "magic" finger, and sure enough they did not get pregnant.

A ring was the only difference between the women who became pregnant and those that did not.

And THAT explained why there was no much emphasis on a man going out and buying a ring and putting it on a woman's finger - it meant he wanted her to start having babies! And a wedding ceremony was a ritual in which he put that magic ring on her finger, knowing that it would start the first pregnancy.

Further pregnancies were random, but could only happen if the ring was worn. I noticed that a woman we knew who had divorced her husband removed her ring, and, sure enough, she had no more babies!

I had two theories as to how the ring caused pregnancy. It could be that wearing the ring on one specific finger applied pressure to a specific spot on the skin, which caused random pregnancies, or it could be that, when a lovey dovey couple held hands, which I noticed they did a lot, the man was actually doing something to the ring, like rubbing it, or pressing it against her finger, to make her pregnant.

I noticed that love songs on the radio often mentioned a man taking a woman's hand (there was one by Elvis).The Beatles "I wanna hold your hand" was about a man's desire to make his wife pregnant by rubbing or pressing on her ring.

I had a seecond theory: pregnancy may have been caused by a chemical reaction to gold; after all, people always said a wedding ring HAD to be gold, and this would explain why.

I felt very smug and clever to have worked it all out for myself! I held this belief until we had sex education at school when I was 9 or 10.

SwanShaped · 14/09/2021 07:22

The Channel Tunnel is a tunnel through the ground that underneath the bottom of the sea. It goes through rock not water. So it can’t spring a leak. Think of it as a channel underground.

AlfonsoTheMango · 14/09/2021 07:23

That saltwater crocodiles existed.

Then, I believed they didn't.

Now, I do they do.

Thanks, Dad.

AlfonsoTheMango · 14/09/2021 07:25

Gah. Now I know they do.

TwinsandTrifle · 14/09/2021 07:33

The Channel Tunnel is a tunnel through the ground that underneath the bottom of the sea. It goes through rock not water. So it can’t spring a leak. Think of it as a channel underground.

My god. Of course it is. I've always been reluctant to use it, because I thought it was in some kind of reinforced tunnel on the sea bed, and if it ever cracked, we'd all drown immediately. Jesus Blush

NotReallyAPrincess · 14/09/2021 07:43

@Mummy2Babba

I only found out a couple of years ago that carpets don't actually grow. I thought that when beds and furniture left marks on carpets that the carpet had grown around it and I honestly only found out this actually isn't the case a couple of years ago. I'm 25 btw 🙃
This is brilliant Grin
Tempusfudgeit · 14/09/2021 07:46

@merrymelody

That I'd fall deeply in love, get married and live happily ever after.
I'm sorry it's not happened for you (yet?) Flowers
VolcanicProtectorMan · 14/09/2021 08:01

@PufferFishGoneWrong Tbh, you did better than me, I was always asking my parents when we were looking for somewhere to stay ‘which do we need again, vacancies or no vacancies?’ I had zero understanding of the word, clearly.

GreyCarpet · 14/09/2021 08:02

@Maskless

When I was aged 5-6-7, in the early 1960s nobody would tell me what caused some women to produce babies whilst others did not.

Eventually from months of observation of neighbours, parents' friends, schoolfriends' parents, teachers, shop assistants and my own family, the royal family and famous actresses on the news, and even by observing women in films and tv programmes, I worked it out all by myself.

It wasn't to do with being in the company of men, because women casually dating did not get pregnant.

I deduced that there was only one thing that it could be: a wedding ring, worn on one specific finger. I noticed that unmarried women wearing decorative rings avoided putting them on that "magic" finger, and sure enough they did not get pregnant.

A ring was the only difference between the women who became pregnant and those that did not.

And THAT explained why there was no much emphasis on a man going out and buying a ring and putting it on a woman's finger - it meant he wanted her to start having babies! And a wedding ceremony was a ritual in which he put that magic ring on her finger, knowing that it would start the first pregnancy.

Further pregnancies were random, but could only happen if the ring was worn. I noticed that a woman we knew who had divorced her husband removed her ring, and, sure enough, she had no more babies!

I had two theories as to how the ring caused pregnancy. It could be that wearing the ring on one specific finger applied pressure to a specific spot on the skin, which caused random pregnancies, or it could be that, when a lovey dovey couple held hands, which I noticed they did a lot, the man was actually doing something to the ring, like rubbing it, or pressing it against her finger, to make her pregnant.

I noticed that love songs on the radio often mentioned a man taking a woman's hand (there was one by Elvis).The Beatles "I wanna hold your hand" was about a man's desire to make his wife pregnant by rubbing or pressing on her ring.

I had a seecond theory: pregnancy may have been caused by a chemical reaction to gold; after all, people always said a wedding ring HAD to be gold, and this would explain why.

I felt very smug and clever to have worked it all out for myself! I held this belief until we had sex education at school when I was 9 or 10.

That's brilliant. I love it! 🤣

I thought babies grew out of app the food you'd eaten over your lifetime akd, when it was fully grown, you went to hospital and the Dr's took it out. It was completely random whether you got a baby, when and how many. It just depended how long your food baby took to grow. I haven't factored in women with no children.

Original poster
Soubriquet · 14/09/2021 08:19

I’m still not 100% certain about drop bears

I keep hearing people say they exist in a wink wink way and I think that, of course they don’t exist. But then someone comes along and shatters that theory

OP posts:
Mmmmdanone · 14/09/2021 08:41

@Maskless

When I was aged 5-6-7, in the early 1960s nobody would tell me what caused some women to produce babies whilst others did not.

Eventually from months of observation of neighbours, parents' friends, schoolfriends' parents, teachers, shop assistants and my own family, the royal family and famous actresses on the news, and even by observing women in films and tv programmes, I worked it out all by myself.

It wasn't to do with being in the company of men, because women casually dating did not get pregnant.

I deduced that there was only one thing that it could be: a wedding ring, worn on one specific finger. I noticed that unmarried women wearing decorative rings avoided putting them on that "magic" finger, and sure enough they did not get pregnant.

A ring was the only difference between the women who became pregnant and those that did not.

And THAT explained why there was no much emphasis on a man going out and buying a ring and putting it on a woman's finger - it meant he wanted her to start having babies! And a wedding ceremony was a ritual in which he put that magic ring on her finger, knowing that it would start the first pregnancy.

Further pregnancies were random, but could only happen if the ring was worn. I noticed that a woman we knew who had divorced her husband removed her ring, and, sure enough, she had no more babies!

I had two theories as to how the ring caused pregnancy. It could be that wearing the ring on one specific finger applied pressure to a specific spot on the skin, which caused random pregnancies, or it could be that, when a lovey dovey couple held hands, which I noticed they did a lot, the man was actually doing something to the ring, like rubbing it, or pressing it against her finger, to make her pregnant.

I noticed that love songs on the radio often mentioned a man taking a woman's hand (there was one by Elvis).The Beatles "I wanna hold your hand" was about a man's desire to make his wife pregnant by rubbing or pressing on her ring.

I had a seecond theory: pregnancy may have been caused by a chemical reaction to gold; after all, people always said a wedding ring HAD to be gold, and this would explain why.

I felt very smug and clever to have worked it all out for myself! I held this belief until we had sex education at school when I was 9 or 10.

Thank you! That was a lovely read 🤣
SedentaryCat · 14/09/2021 08:46

When I was little - probably about 5 or 6 - I got it into my head that I wanted to go for a day trip to Reading. Pestered my parents, grandparents, etc, for a week or two.

In the end they bundled me into the car drove around a bit and stopped beside a field, telling me this was Reading and there wasn't very much to do. I believed it for much longer than I should have....

Also guerilla warfare (gorillas with guns).

SwanShaped · 14/09/2021 09:06

I thought that if someone was a prima donna, it’s was just that they’d been around before Madonna. As in, pre-Madonna.