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Original poster

How often do you buy your dc toys?

48 replies

pastaparadise · 11/09/2021 21:54

Dd1 has never really pestered for things, but dd2 (5) asks relentlessly for toys (not helped by watching crappy YouTube channels probably). We visit a charity shop regularly as its close by and we got into the habit of buying toys often as they're cheap/ recycled so i didn't have a problem with it. But it's created an expectation of getting something every week which I want to cut back on.

Today we visited a toy shop to buy a present for her friend and it was relentless. I stuck to my guns to not buy dc anything but was so fed up of the whining and asking. I then felt mean as dc1 asked when they'll get something new and not from the charity shop.

I'm happy to buy some small treats, and big stuff if really needed eg bike, but feel like the rest can wait til birthdays/ Xmas.

In last month they've only been bought

  • 1 kinder surprise egg
  • lego magazine each
  • few things each from charity shop ie dvds, games, figures.

Am I being mean, as dh doesn't see a problem with buying more toys? We can easily afford new stuff, but i don't want spoilt children and a load more landfill. The house seems full of toys which they're not great at looking after, but they play with things a lot. They don't have any extended family buying anything else for them, and I don't want to do pocket money yet as feel it will cause arguments.

OP posts:
Findahouse21 · 11/09/2021 21:58

Magazines - 1 every 4-6 weeks but I lean towards ones which are art based.

Toys like figures etc - never although dc may receive them from others

Games - Christmas and birthdays

Dc both have winter birthdays so I do buy them summer type toys both at Easter and the begining of summer holidays usually. Dd also saves any pocket money, tooth fairy money and job money to buy toys

Books however and art/craft stuff, I but whenever they want/need/ask

converseandjeans · 11/09/2021 23:11

I never used to buy new toys for mine unless it was a birthday or Christmas gift.

If you keep giving in it will get worse. I think you have done the right thing.

We did used to get something occasionally from charity shop. They always seemed to have loads to play with. Family are always generous for birthday & Christmas gifts.

converseandjeans · 11/09/2021 23:13

DS always used to pester for stuff & now he's older he can work out what to do with his cash. He now tends to save for big items like bike or Xbox rather than frittering away on rubbish. So it's worth sticking to your guns.

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Changechangychange · 11/09/2021 23:17

We get a kinder surprise or freddo surprise every week or so. Magazine probably every month (though he asks every time we go in the shop). Biggertoys like Paw Patrol vehicles (£10-20) usually just Christmas and birthdays, though he did get a couple of things when he started school and he’ll usually get something small if we visit a museum. Bikes/big Lego sets etc strictly Christmas and birthday.

853ax · 11/09/2021 23:18

Too often here, but at times i think about it get more fun/use/time out of a toy then a day or meal out.
So I've no solution for you just posting to know you not the only one.
Lot of it for my child is the 'getting something' sometimes if shopping I feel like could leave in car return it next day he wouldn't notice.
My solution like you is charity shop actually think I've got the same toy 3 or 4 times. As donate them back again after few weeks.
I don't like the magazine's too expensive they pick for toy which mostly rubbish

Solongtoshort · 11/09/2021 23:22

I have a 5 yo dd and 9yo ds, l do pocket money and if we are out and want a top, l say we will take it from your money box. My ds doesn’t ask as he loves saving, l tell my dd if she has enough money and if she hasn’t l say that will be 4 weeks with no pocket money.

It’s is mainly Christmas and birthdays they get gifts but they have two sets of grand parents, who l feel spoil them. We also sell there old toys on Facebook and they get to spend that money.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 11/09/2021 23:26

It's really tough. On the one hand, regularly buying them stuff creates entitlement and ever increasing expectations and pestering. On the other hand, they are small for such a short time, toys are inexpensive, and it feels miserly to withhold stuff they would enjoy and you can easily afford.

I withhold it anyway but I wish I didn't have to. I may look back and think "Oh why didn't I just buy him the damn roller skates? He'll never be 6 again".

Thesearmsofmine · 11/09/2021 23:33

It don’t buy loads but they have pocket money which they can spend on anything they want. I do buy loads of books though! We also get 2 magazines on subscription.

repog · 11/09/2021 23:34

I buy toys quite regularly but don't buy quite so much as I did when they were very wrong.
Mine sometimes ask & sometimes don't & I don't always buy if they ask.
Tbh sometimes it's because I think it will be a fun toy to play with & I fancy something new!

wendz86 · 11/09/2021 23:34

They get pocket money which they can spend as they want but I won’t generally just buy them toys . They get for birthdays / Christmas but not just on a trip to shops.

Flymeoutofhere · 11/09/2021 23:42

I could have written your post about our DS(6). We realised his sense of entitlement to a toy/tat every time we walked into a shop had become out of hand. We too would also often but him toys from charity shops and have had some fantastic toys at bargain prices, however after a few incidents of him flying into a screaming rage and hitting and kicking me for not buying him something we decided to act.

We have gone cold turkey - absolutely no toys outside of birthdays and Christmas, but he now receives weekly pocket money and we are teaching him how to budget for things he would like. It has been a painful process but he has starting responding well to this new set-up.

We are happy to buy kids books anytime as I believe you can never have too many, but we made the mistake of buying toys frequently and we had created a little monster. Thankfully things are much improved and we won’t make this mistake again. DS is also an only child and I don’t want him turning into a spoilt brat with a sense of entitlement.

BobsBurgersisthebest · 11/09/2021 23:45

We but toys/magazines all too regularly and I think it stems from not having much as a child.
I do need to nip it in the bud in the new year and just give them pocket money and once its gone, its gone but how much pocket money do I give a 5 & 6 year old?

Rainallnight · 11/09/2021 23:57

This is very timely. DP and I have just been having the same conversation. DD and DS get magazines fairly frequently and would get a toy if, say, we were in the shop of an attraction. But otherwise it’s Christmas and birthdays.

DD (5) has asked me for something she really wants and was genuinely upset at the idea of waiting till Christmas. I feel bad because we can afford it and as adults, we don’t make ourselves wait six months for anything we want. But at the same time I don’t want to spoil her. But then as another PP said, she’s not going to be five forever and if she’s anything like me, her main memory will be that we didn’t buy her My Fairy Garden! Confused

faithfulbird20 · 12/09/2021 00:14

Every week nearly and only coz she was our only child at first but now has a sister.!I feel like kids have to grow up so fast these days and learn everything and compete...I enjoy seeing the joy on her fAce with a new toy. I do think what a waste of money but she does play with it and talk about it in school. We will cut it down but they're only kids for a short while.

Toy companies shouldn't send YouTubers free toys for paid promotions. I'm sick and tired of buying crap she's seen on there.

Original poster
pastaparadise · 12/09/2021 00:39

Thanks for replies. I'm a bit hesitant about pocket money. Think dd1 might be OK (7), but then dd2 will want it and I know she would struggle to save anything and fritter it away on new crap (I would rather buy second hand).

I am torn as I want them to enjoy things, and they have no other presents from family. I also tend to be frugal in other ways ie we avoid gift shops when at attractions, get library books, take packed lunches to places etc. So I feel they should have other treats. But it's the entitlement and whining I hate!

Will go cold turkey for a few weeks and try to reset.

OP posts:
Babyfg · 12/09/2021 00:42

I pick up treats maybe once a month for them. If one of them has been asking for a specific toy for a while I'd probably get it for them if I could afford it. But I do pick a lot up of Facebook market or similar.

I feel a bit mean taking mine to a toy shop and not letting them have anything. A toy shop to the is like the basically a kids dream place! Although I do say it has to be small or you can have x amount so they aren't going for the mega bucks. If I was picking up a toy for a present in Tesco or simile then they don't get a toy.

I don't like magazines (well kids ones) I think it's a bit of tat on the front and a few puzzles. They have plenty of work books and activity books at home and if I wanted a bit of tat I could give them a £1 for the pound shop.

stripedbananas · 12/09/2021 01:01

I mainly bought toys for birthdays and Christmas apart from the odd exceptions if there was a new fad out there like those fidget spinners for example or when DS age 5, who never asked for a much, clung onto a £5 toy the whole time I was walking around TKMaxx for ages - he wasn't letting that thing go and his quiet, patient, tenacious just me chuckle and relent. He still has it 10 years later and oh how we laugh.

stripedbananas · 12/09/2021 01:02

I really need to read through these before posting

stripedbananas · 12/09/2021 01:05

Tbf I would probably relent and buy them something if I'd dragged them into a toy shop

Camomila · 12/09/2021 07:12

Mine are young (5 and 1) so I prefer buying toys little and often as their interests and abilities change as opposed to buying lots at Christmas and Birthdays.

They don't get toys everytime we go out though, more if we go "somewhere" and they usually want something related to the day out - eg, wooden sword from the castle gift shop.

SlamLikeAGuitar · 12/09/2021 07:18

Birthdays, Christmas, family usually gift them money at Easter which they will use to buy a toy.
Their school runs with a reward points system that has a tool on the app to award points at home too, so when they earn 50 reward points between home and school, I take them to the post office in the village and let them choose a magazine or a couple of little pocket money toys.

PeonyTime · 12/09/2021 07:22

Magazine on subscription (but no toys on the front).
Toys: birthday and Christmas.
Treats: icecream at the beach, and after the opticians.

Tulips15 · 12/09/2021 07:29

xmas and birthday mainly.
Maybe once a month they get to choose a toy/book for no more than £3, from poundshop

Indoctro · 12/09/2021 07:35

Birthdays or Christmas apart from maybe the odd thing if we on a day out and perhaps there is gift shop at the attraction we are at.

Fundays12 · 12/09/2021 07:35

I buy them at Christmas and birthdays. Very occasionally if we are on holiday they will get a toy to. They have loads already and i don't want them expecting toys constantly or demanding them.

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