How often do you buy your dc toys?

[pastaparadise]

Dd1 has never really pestered for things, but dd2 (5) asks relentlessly for toys (not helped by watching crappy YouTube channels probably). We visit a charity shop regularly as its close by and we got into the habit of buying toys often as they're cheap/ recycled so i didn't have a problem with it. But it's created an expectation of getting something every week which I want to cut back on.

Today we visited a toy shop to buy a present for her friend and it was relentless. I stuck to my guns to not buy dc anything but was so fed up of the whining and asking. I then felt mean as dc1 asked when they'll get something new and not from the charity shop.

I'm happy to buy some small treats, and big stuff if really needed eg bike, but feel like the rest can wait til birthdays/ Xmas.

In last month they've only been bought

• 1 kinder surprise egg
• lego magazine each
• few things each from charity shop ie dvds, games, figures.

Am I being mean, as dh doesn't see a problem with buying more toys? We can easily afford new stuff, but i don't want spoilt children and a load more landfill. The house seems full of toys which they're not great at looking after, but they play with things a lot. They don't have any extended family buying anything else for them, and I don't want to do pocket money yet as feel it will cause arguments.

Ds is only 3 so a bit younger, but he gets to choose a magazine each Friday if he has had a good week at preschool. Obviously he chooses the ones with plastic tat 🤦‍♀️ we do look at the magazine too though.

Otherwise I might buy him token bits like slime or such once a month or so. He got a little character set as a moving in present this month otherwise its Xmas or birthdays. From us, from my parents it might be a different matter, bit those toys stay at their house.

Mine get new toys fairly frequently from the charity shop, I rotate them back again so we don't have too much stuff. It's rare that we buy them anything new, but they don't really ask often either.
Mostly birthdays and Christmases, or the occasional sale item in the supermarket.

Dd has a magazine subscription and gets pocket money. If she wants toys etc outside of her birthday/Christmas then she saves up and buys it herself. Occasionally, if we’re on holiday we’ll buy a small (less than a fiver) item. Started pocket money at age 4 because of the pestering. It works really well, as you can say “have you got enough money?” If not, no toy.

We stick to birthdays and Christmas mainly. Both of mine find too many toys overwhelming, and they don't really play properly when there's loads of "stuff" lying around. My parents will buy them each a magazine from time to time too (like, twice a year).

I've been trying to rein this in lately. During lockdown I had a cupboard of cheap secondhand stuff and I'd get something out when we were bored or I was at the end of my tether. DC are now 2 and 4.

We had stuff about once a week and it seemed fair enough as it didn't cost much and there was no stimulus from anywhere else. But DD started nagging for things so I've reduced it a lot and cleared loads out.

Now if she asks for something I tell her to put it on her Christmas/birthday list. If we need a new thing to play with then I make salt dough or we play with a box or other junk.

They probably end up getting toys around once a month from GP. I try to clear out as much as we get!

We buy a lot of books, new and second hand. I don’t really see books as treats but we are still buying them stuff I suppose.

In terms of toys, we do buy something probably once a month. For example my daughter just finished her first week of school so we bought her a new toy costing £8. Most of the time its £5 or under, something like a craft kit or cuddly toy.

Theyre small at the moment but when older I will be giving them a budget. "We are going in the charity shop, you can spend up to £3" etc.

Mine is probably spoilt a bit. I don't mind buying toys and games. But I do have limits. I will say "that's a birthday /Christmas ask" if I consider whatever it is to be a bit too expensive as an off the cuff present. And then I'd redirect towards the actual shopping and say he can choose a bag of sweets for later or whatever. He knows you can't get everything you want immediately,has good manners and is mostly a polite, well behaved little kid

His birthday and Christmas are within a few weeks of each other though so if he asked for something in February, I wouldn't make him wait the best part of a year for it. I'd get it for Easter or whatever.

He doesn't have YouTube on his tablet anymore which has made a difference.

I think 'proper' toys from the charity shop, that can be played with and then given back/passed on are massively better than the cheap, plastic crap that is in kinder eggs/on the front of magazines/pocket money toys.

I'd carry on with the occasional charity shop purchase and cut back on the magazines and kinder eggs.

I think you can view a charity shop almost like a toy library. You can keep the stuff while they enjoy it and give it back when they're done. You don't need to end up with too many toys, nothing is going to landfill and the money is going to a good cause.

I would make it clear though that new stuff is for birthdays/Christmas and they only place they're getting stuff from throughout the year is the charity shop/other second hand stuff. I would explain to them in an age appropriate way why (landfill, money to a good cause etc.).

I do think they're a bit young to be taken to a toy shop to buy a present for a friend and not want the stuff themselves though. So maybe just order online for friends birthdays and don't tease them with what they can't have.

Those who do pocket money for primary aged children, how much to you give them??

Mine are older now but once or twice a month for toys and books more frequently.
I always saw it as an adult I didn’t have to wait for Christmas or a birthday for something I wanted nor did I only buy myself second hand things.
Lots of friends hated only getting second hand items and rarely getting anything new.

I now only tend to buy toys at birthdays and Christmas as ds has a lot that doesn't get looked at so I've cut down from buying whenever he wanted something. I get craft stuff as and when we run out and I will buy the occasional computer game if ds has played all the games he currently has otherwise he has to pay for one himself or wait until his birthday/christmas. I'm an avid charity shopper and if ds is with me I will allow him one thing only which he has great pleasure in picking. He used to always ask for magazines but the novelty soon wore off on those. He now pesters me for sweets.

Over the first lockdown way too much! I was shielding and it was more that I needed new things to entertain me 🤣.
He just turned 3 on Friday and about 6 months ago we started a birthday list. We started it then cause when things opened up this year we took him to the toy shop to spend some Christmas money he got. He chose a train and two cars. Loved them he was so excited choosing them. The next time we went in that direct (not even going to the toy shop) he completely melted down cause he wanted to go to the toy shop and he more toys. At one trip (he wouldn’t remember earlier pre lockdown ones) to the toy shop he was expecting it every time we went in that vague direction so we started the birthday list. Not today you can put it on your birthday list and we would go home and write it down. His list was miles long so didn’t get hardly any of it but it’s interesting to see the amount of tat on there that he just wanted cause he saw it and the stuff he genuinely wanted and mentioned numerous times (those were the things we got him for birthday).

Books I buy when I want one of he wants one.
Magazines never and hope not to start that habit
Toys now try and aim for only birthday and Christmas unless out for a special day and something would really blow is mind. Like we went to the transport museum and he was busy telling me all the things he would add to his birthday list and I said you know what let’s buy something today. His little face

He has sooo much stuff though. All relatives are other side of the world and they spoil him birthday and Christmas so he has piles of stuff to play with. And no he has started pre school and some playgroups have opened up again he goes there to play with different toys he doesn’t need me to buy them.

DSs 5 and 7 have birthdays within a month of Xmas. I don't get them toys at Xmas (they get loads from family and we get them other things). So they have a whole year to wait for new stuff!

After DS1 started school we did an "activity bag" for the summer hols with colouring books and maybe an outdoor toy (e.g. water pistol)

We started pocket money at 4yo. At first they do fritter it, but DS1 is now very good at saving for something he really wants. They quickly learn that if they spend it all, they have nothing! I try not to be too strict on what they are allowed to buy (No In App purchases, no slime!). DS1 only gets £2 a week and saved for 4 months for a lego kit.

They sometimes get the odd thing from the boot fair or charity shop, but we generally tell them to use their pocket money.

@CouldBeTime ours has been getting £2 a week since he was 6. I quickly realised he wanted to spend it all on chocolate, so now he spends £1 straight away and saves £1. Which then goes on toys that we won’t buy him outside his birthday and Christmas

We do buy outside toys whenever as he’s a November birthday.

We gets him books when he wants them but always second hand.

OK, might try pocket money and see how we go.

Tbh I would probably have got them something from the toy shop but the pestering before we got there made me not want to! Also she only wanted expensive stuff - I've said 'something small' before and they've ended up picking stuff they don't even really want for the sake of it, that then gets left/ broken. I will not be taking her back for a while now though so less temptation!

Also hate the waste of magazines/ kinder. They were one off treats from the local shop for return to school/ dentist, (so I was trying to avoid sweets!)

I found when DD was younger clear expectations worked best. So I would occasionally buy sweets on the way home from school as a 'treat'. Then she kept pestering for them so I decided that she could have sweets only on Friday. She stopped asking on other days as she knew she wouldn't get them. Same with magazines- she only got them for train journeys. When kids are young they will ask for things as there is a chance you'll give in.

Once older we did pocket money on a Friday so she could continue to get sweets but had to decide for herself what to do with the rest of the money.

We buy a lot for Ds (only child), he won't be little forever. We can afford it and he's not spoiled or bratty, we do say no too, he doesn't get everything he asks for the minute he asks for it but I genuinely don't see why we wouldn't.
We buy books almost every week too but that's different.
He's saving his pocket money at the minute for a new toy and once he's halfway there we'll give him the rest. It's expensive and I don't want him to be disheartened by the length of time it will take to save the full amount.

@CouldBeTime we have just started giving DS(6) pocket money. We decided on 50p per day or £3.50 per week. In return he will need to make his bed, tidy his toys away each day, set the table for dinner, and take his plate to the kitchen after meals. We could give more but we don’t think he needs loads of money at his age, he gets given lots of gifts for birthdays and Christmas, and we buy the occasional toy.

I buy DD (4) toys most months from eBay but she loves playing with them and we don't buy plastic and most are resold or donated. I don't buy soft toys as she doesn't play with them but little figures and games I think why not? Makes her happy.

I will buy my youngest toys regularly as I am pleased she is still playing with them. She is 10 and creates all these various scenes and creates backdrops and makes things for her worlds. Sometimes she will make an animation out of her storylines. She is not keen on video games like many of her friends are, she finds them really dull. I was the same with my eldest who is now 14 and I genuinely think character toys and all the different storylines he made up for them has given him a creative and intellectual advantage. He is curious about many different subjects and will pursue things that capture his imagination. He is currently reading political literature but at the same time is interested in listening to and reading about various musical genres, hip-hop, 70s alternative rock. I think he is hugely creative as he was creating his own worlds and storylines from a young age and that is down to the art of playing with toys, toys that focused on characters and scenes not one hit wonders! I wouldn't and don't wait for Christmas and birthdays as this is such a short time in their life. My teenager doesn't ask for toys anymore so the demand goes with age anyway. Then again, it gets taken over by requests for money for records and going out!

I agree with you.

I think there's a whole generation that like 'new' rather than the intrinsic item, whether toys or clothes. Probably driven by their increasingly short attention spans. It promotes landfill and is not sustainable. What did I hear yesterday- 9000 litres of water for one pair of jeans? When people in many areas are struggling for drinking water, and opinion is that the next major conflict will be driven by water supply needs?

Hardly ever but I feel mean now 😂 even on days out they know we skip the gift shop.

They get toys on their birthday and Christmas time. The older two get some pocket money, ds usually spends most of his going to the pictures and maccies with friends, dd saves most of hers as she’s not a big spender.

They do have a lot of money spent on their activities and things though so I’m not totally tight. And I will buy them sweets from the shop if we’re out.

I will say I have four kids though which makes a difference in two ways - firstly I simply couldn’t afford to buy them new toys constantly.

Secondly I do save a lot of things. So Lego sets are put away carefully when they’re outgrown then the Lego city and Lego friends sets that the older two are too old for will be pulled out for the younger ones. So they have more variety.