Taking my husband’s name Wwyd

[CrumpetsForAll]

I’m getting so much flak over whether to do this or not- particularly from his family and his mum who has suggested she’d be offended if I didn’t. I do want to honour him and for us to ‘sound like’ a family, and my name is really long and hard to spell but I guess I just never really saw myself as a Dave

Good one!!

Care less about what his family thinks and do what you want to. If MIL chooses to be offended, she can get over it. It’s not her name or her marriage, it’s your name and your marriage.

(I did not take my husband’s name.)

But Dave is so easy to spell and such a nice name, while your name Ouachita-Zzyzx, is SO HARD AND REPUGNANT.

I didn't change my name.

I really have to step away from picking up the post at Christmas.

Some people ignore your choice, others assume, occasionally someone knows & respects your choice if you don't change it but it's very mixed.

Ouachita-Zzyzx is such a brilliant name, I want it.

🤣

Very good

Can't you both compromise and come up with a new combination name for yourselves? Davchita could work.

Me and ex never married so it didn't come up but I never would have changed it. My take is, of course it's your own choice, but if you do it you're broadcasting to the world (and more importantly your own kids, if you have them) that women are less important than men. Even if it's only symbolic, that's the message it sends IMO and I don't like it.

I once read on here a post from a woman who didn't want to change her name but her FIL-to-be was outraged and said she should. She asked him how he'd like to change his name to his wife's and he was appalled and said "but... but... I've had this name ALL MY LIFE!"

:o

Most of my friends in the 50-70 age group haven't changed their name and I haven't either. For most of us its because we are feminists, for professional reasons, don't want to have a different name to existing children or just CBA. I never heard of anyone's MIL being offended. I wouldn't go through life with a name I wasn't comfortable with. Why shouldn't your DP change his name? One of my male friends did it.

Love how many people didn't read to the end

@Planesmistakenforstars I’m a Felicity so I will suggest Davicity. He’s a headteacher so hopefully it won’t be a problem with his work, I suppose he could keep Dave for work and use Davicity the rest of the time.

Love how many people didn't read to the end grin

I thought that was just OP's little joke at the end of a genuine post!
Still not entirely sure...

Will any children you may have take his name do you think? For some it's an issue.
Not for me, my DC was given his name and is very glad ( it's exotic..and unpronounceable to most folks 😈 ) I couldn't care less, even though my family line name stops after me.

@OoglyMoogly

Love how many people didn't read to the end

Me too. It's hilarious.

I laughed at this and then read the first couple of replies and felt bad! I’m glad I was right the first time

“Honour him”

See that didn't phase me as I know men who were really put out that their fiancees weren't keen to take their name, and my own ex had an ego-driven fit about the kids' names.

@Tiramiwho of course his children will all be Dave’s too- I’m not sure that’s up for debate it’s just my name

[quote CrumpetsForAll]@Planesmistakenforstars I’m a Felicity so I will suggest Davicity. He’s a headteacher so hopefully it won’t be a problem with his work, I suppose he could keep Dave for work and use Davicity the rest of the time.[/quote]
It’s ok he could be Davicito 😀

I'm older and l don't think anyone thought about not taking husband name then. I have always hated my surname since marriage, a very ordinary one and lots and lots of unrelated people have it. Now I'm older l double barrel it on all medical things, so I'm sure not to get mixed up with someone else which did happen before computer days.
My surname before marriage was unusual and nice. If l was getting married now l would definitely make a combination, not double barreled as it's too long, but a shorter one word . I think the children would have preferred it too.

Could you not compromise and hyphen it with the name Imnot? If you wanted to go all modern, you could put an apostrophe in as well.
I'mnot-Dave.

We should all honour Dave.

Hail Dave.