Absolutely at my whits end with my weight

[whatashamee]

So as the title says. Im absolutely at the end of my tether with my weight.
Im 24, and weigh the most I've ever weighed my entire life.

today marks a year exactly until my wedding day. Ideally I want to loose around 8 stone in order to get down to a healthy weight for my height, and my BMI is classed as morbidly obese.

I feel like I've tried every diet to no avail. I love slimming world, but a few weeks in I get sick of it and crave things so badly that I just crack.
I want to look and feel amazing in my wedding dress, but I just can't seem to see any light at the end of this tunnel and I've already mentally come to terms with the fact I'm going to be 'plus size' for the rest of my life, if not bigger. I can't even mentally imagine myself being slim.

I do suffer with depression and anxiety. I don't know if perhaps my lack of self belief and self esteem is holding me back? But I'm feeling so low I don't know where to turn.

What has worked for me is:

1. Use myfitnesspal and be honest! And remember you need to be in a calorie deficit- but that doesn't mean you start off eating to your target weight calorie requirement. Reduce your current calorie requirement by a couple of hundred calories only.
2. Increase protein, limit carbs to the evening meal.
3. Exercise. Whatever you can, build up gradually. Walk to start off with. It's rare these days that I do fewer than 16000 steps a day.
4. Lift heavy weights when you're able.
5. Try to focus on healthy foods. Don't save too many calories for snacking, make sure you have filling meals.
6. Last, but most definitely the MOST important thing for making a new way of eating work day to day - prep your food. I spend about an hour 2-3 times a week making food for the next few days.

The thing is, I don't eat LOADS I just eat the wrong things. Typically, I'd reach for savoury convenience food, I'm very rarely into sweets / chocolate & deserts thankfully.

Do you do regular exercise? The only way to lose weight is to expend more energy than you take in. So if you don't want to calorie count, long walks everyday, 20-30 min HIIT workouts at home, swimming, are the only way.

Diet is important obv. But I think when you start exercising regularly it does change your cravings - the endorphins replace cravings and it's easier to eat more healthily. More calories from protein rather than fat will help too.

But this does take hard work. No shortcuts. So if you really want to get healthy, you're going to have to force yourself almost like it's bitter medicine.

I could have written your post, even down to the fact that today is also a year until my wedding. Since the around the middle of March, I have lost about 28lbs.
I worked out what my calories should be using an online calculatorand I downloaded Nutracheck on my phone. I eat around 1800 calories a day, focusing on protein and healthy fats. I do try to limitstarchy carbs, but this is personal choice as I have PCOS and insulin resistance. It's been hard work, and some weeks I haven't lost weight, but it's been worth it as I already feel better. I have around another 4 stone to lose so I know how dauntingit feels. Don't give up, and just take each day as it comes, and you will get there. It will be worth it in the end if you feel happier and healthier

But what do you eat and in what quantities op?

I think self worth is a huge factor.
If you learn to value yourself you will want to take better care of yourself.
Perhaps some counselling would be beneficial… although I don’t know your personal circumstances but even low self worth is worth some counselling/cbt etc.
I speak from personal experience.
Also I find that finding things that bring happiness is very important. Big things for general well-being and also small things. I find the small things great for distraction!
Say for example I catch myself reaching for something to eat (when I’ve already eaten) I can distract myself with finding something interesting to read on a topic I love, or doing a bit of the piece of art I’m currently doing, or watering my plants if they need it etc.
I also find it Hugely beneficial to ask myself each time I eat “am I physically hungry?” Often the answer is no!
I struggle to recognise when I’m thirsty too so often eat when I’m actually thirsty so I now set myself reminders to have a drink through the day!
I don’t think it’s an easy fix.

@whatashamee

If anybody is able to help / even just give be a boost I would so appreciate it. I can't carry on like this, I recognise that. But I also seem to have such a lack of self worth that I don't see the point in trying 😔

Have you tried keto?

'savoury convenience food' can we just as bad as sweet stuff if it's ultra processed. Theres no simpler a lunch or dinner that meat or fish with veg or salad. Ditch the junk

I have tried practically every diet going over the past 40 years (am in my 60s now), and the only one that worked in the long term was low carb high fat. I love food, I'm miserable if I have to count calories. My low carb diet let me have eggs and bacon, steak and mushrooms, salmon in a cream sauce, and cheese. I was 'allowed' to eat as much as I wanted, until I was satisfied - and after a few weeks it changed my relationship with food, so that I was no longer obsessed with it, but saw it as fuel. I was never hungry. It took me around 9 months to lose 5 stone, which I kept off for 3 years - a bit has crept back now (10 years later) but that's probably because I've relaxed the way I eat to include legumes and some rice. I still think that - for me at least - it's the easiest way to lose the weight and - most importantly - not to feel like a martyr whilst doing so. There's a thread on here somewhere, run by BIWI, for people who are low carbing. Look for the low carb bootcamp, and good luck if you decide it's for you. Good luck if you decide it's not for you, too - just good luck in general! :)

@whatashamee

The thing is, I don't eat LOADS I just eat the wrong things. Typically, I'd reach for savoury convenience food, I'm very rarely into sweets / chocolate & deserts thankfully.

Could you list a typical day? There may be alternatives people can suggest.

Personally signing up to classes with a personal trainer was the best thing I did. It helps you focus and the stronger you get, the more motivated you are.

I think bulking up your plate with as many different coloured vegetables and fruit as possible is the way forward
Calorie counting can work for some people however be mindful of your body's need for nutrition. It's easy to lose weight by counting calories but make sure your body is being fed well. If you mix your colours as much as possible you have a high chance of feeding your body well. Lean chicken, meat and plenty of fish are great for you. Good luck. You can do this