Absolutely at my whits end with my weight

[whatashamee]

So as the title says. Im absolutely at the end of my tether with my weight.
Im 24, and weigh the most I've ever weighed my entire life.

today marks a year exactly until my wedding day. Ideally I want to loose around 8 stone in order to get down to a healthy weight for my height, and my BMI is classed as morbidly obese.

I feel like I've tried every diet to no avail. I love slimming world, but a few weeks in I get sick of it and crave things so badly that I just crack.
I want to look and feel amazing in my wedding dress, but I just can't seem to see any light at the end of this tunnel and I've already mentally come to terms with the fact I'm going to be 'plus size' for the rest of my life, if not bigger. I can't even mentally imagine myself being slim.

I do suffer with depression and anxiety. I don't know if perhaps my lack of self belief and self esteem is holding me back? But I'm feeling so low I don't know where to turn.

My fitness pal and set it for a goal of 1 lb per week loss.

I started at 234lb 5ft 8" and had 1690 calories a day which was plenty to be able to eat enough food to not feel hungry but actually lose weight.

Set small targets, don't just work towards the big end goal. It will feel too big, whereas losing 7lb is achievable and you can be proud of yourself when you hit it, then lose another 7lb........

I cut carbs as have PCOS and react badly to sugar, I also find it a lot easier to keep to calories if I have less starchy carbs as they are very high calorie. I add loads of greenbeans, asparagus, broccoli, baby corn or mushrooms to my meals instead which are low calorie, low carb and still filling.

Fitness watch worked for me. It meant I could see just how much I was moving throughout the day (not very much) and most will vibrate/beep if you have sat down for too long. Some names will set you daily/monthly targets to motivate you.

As the nights started drawing in I also got a folding exercise bike and used it most days.

It wasn't until I was a few months in that I started to make changes to my diet and snacking habits like the one where you buy a chocolate bar as you get fuel.

Just the fact that you’re on here asking others for motivation is quite a big tell. You need to be in charge of this, no one can do it but you. You can do it.

You are me and I am you OP. I have 8 to lose as well. I’m good for a few days and then back to ordering dominos! I’m 41 so aware I need it gone soon because my health will suffer massively. I’ve also tried slimming world about 20 times and what keeps me going back is when I stick to it, it works !
I’ll be reading the replies as well but you’re not alone at all OP. X

Just to add, I am very target and numbers driven so have a spreadsheet with loads of targets, achievements, boxes that go green when I've done good 😂 it really helps me stay motivated. Looks like the attached and if it looks like it may be useful to you I've got a blank version that you can download from google drive here

docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1mjaVTijjOxYjXruqLq14A113BVyhDBph/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=115203243050422472278&rtpof=true&sd=true

Calorie counting and strict portion control will work. Make sure you are having meals you enjoy. It takes a bit of work to come up with healthy enjoyable food ideas but it can be done. The hairy bikers do a good diet cookbook.

Make each half stone loss your goal to work towards rather than thinking I must lose 8 stone. It definitely helps to break it down like that. Maybe have a little non food treat when you lose each half stone, a manicure or something. Good luck, you can do this.

Can you afford a personal trainer? I've recently helped a client go from a 22 to a 14. No calorie counting. Working out hard 4 times a week and making healthier food choices. It's helpful to have someone who you're accountable to and who will keep you motivated.

You mention diet, but what about exercise?

What was your relationship to food like as a child?

Calorie count but don't drop your calories too low at the start, you should be able to eat quite a lot and still lose when you have lots to lose.

I am much older than you (40) & lost 3 stone in about 9 months on 1900 cals per day. I now have a BMI of 23 and have been maintaining over the summer but might get back on it to lose a bit more now.

I lift weights 6 days per week, only about 15 mins a day at home and built up to this.

I make sure my weekly average steps are 10k per day (i jog now, but steps are fine)

I drink lots of water, and make sure i eat a tonne of protein and fibre.

I log everything on MyfitnessPal and initially weighed everything (this was easy during lockdown).

Try 2500 cals to start with. I thought my calorie allowance was far too large as i thought i wasnt eating much but i was consuming loads at weekends after being "good" all week.

Try intermittent fasting by only eating in 8 hour window and nothing but water and black coffee/tea outside those times. I have only black coffee in the morning and breakfast at 11am, maybe a small lunch and then an evening meal before 7pm and only water till bedtime. It’s suppose to reset the bodies relationship with food and hungry. I’ve lost weight without actually counting calories but make better food choices. Also no takeaways or ultra processed food and very very little alcohol.

Come on the 'starting today' thread on the weight loss board (each person's start day is different).

I'm posting a music video each evening so that those that want to can squat/air punch/wall press up through the song first thing in the morning.

It really helps me get in the right frame of mind for the morning, and then shower it away. By the end of the week you've done 35 mins of high intensity exercise without needing to prep or build up to it.

I would be wary of eating less than 1500 calories a day. Your body needs fuel, and carbs are not 'bad'. Just have them for breakfast if you can, fewer for lunch and for the most part none for dinner.

Slowly reduce portion sizes, never overeat. Measure out the recommended serving sizes. Bulk it out with loads and loads of frozen veg. Your stomach will shrink & less will fill you up. That's what I'm hoping, anyway!

Please read the Andrew Jenkinson book a pp mentioned. Also the Obesity Code by Jason Fung. Really eye-opening. The Obesity Code completely took away the blame/shame of obesity for me which put me in a position to actually tackle it. I've done some carb restriction (particularly refined carbs) and intermittent fasting and am down six stone so far in the last 18 months. I'm losing slowly now but am confident I'll be able to maintain the loss when I'm done and I'm not in so much of a hurry now my BMI is overweight rather than morbidly obese.

No calorie counting here. I've just found that miserable in the past and yo-yoed the weight right back on which is statistically what happens to most.

I'd just like to mention that I hired a PT and did serious workouts with lots of weight lifting - I loved it BUT I stacked on 15kg which pushed me into obese (and when I stopped working out in alarm all that muscle turned to fat).. Two years later I'm still trying to get back to 'just' being overweight..

What has worked for me is cutting out breakfast and doing my 10000 steps.. it's slow but steady

I can't calorie count - it's just no way to live

Hi op,
I'd say please look at Team RH on facebook. They are amazing and will teach you how to count calories healthily. Have a look, watch some videos and you can still decide it isn't for you but Team RH is the only way I have lost weight, not starved myself and not have to commit to a ridiculous exercise programme.

Having a goal to weigh a certain amount in a certain day won’t work. Having a diet won’t work. Your fiancé is marrying you as you are and you are good enough to marry as you are.

Put all the targets aside and make small changes. When you go backwards, pick yourself up and start again. I know it’s not a solution like a crash diet is a solution but the reality of it is that maintaining a healthy weight is a life long activity. Set yourself tasks each week but easy ones- diet drinks instead of full calorie fuzzies, etc. It’s long and slow but as you get healthier it becomes more normal to have a healthy lifestyle so it gets easier.

Up your daily step count! I lost over a stone in 3 months from doing 10,000 steps everyday. I got into podcasts and audiobooks to keep me entertained
In my experience it's a lot easier to lose weight when it comes from a place of love and respect for yourself rather than hate and disgust.
Try not to look at healthy eating and exercise as a punishment. Best of luck!

Thanks to the pp who recommended Jason Fung. Listening to a podcast with him on now.. interesting!

Jason Fung has a youtube channel too that is worth a watch.

whatashamee You can do it OP! I think it's almost like switch in your head and once you mentally make that decision and
, crucially,believe that you can stick to it then that is half the battle.

Ultimately, Slimming World et al. are a business. They want you to come back. Their model isn't based on nutrition. They encourage low nutrient foods which make you want more (low fat yoghurt etc). There is definitely a place for them but I don't think they encourage long term sustainability as it is about making better choices and that is not always down to the lowest calories.

I found that initially, giving up sugar and refined carbs was best for me. It helped to stop the cravings. I also never weigh myself, I go on my clothes and how I feel. I never let myself go above a certain level (approximately a stone) and if I feel it creeping on then I cut back. I also exercise on a regular basis, no matter what my circumstances. It helps me feel in control. I am super busy at the moment so haven't been getting out to run until after 9 this week but even if it's just 20 minutes effort I feel better. I use my Fitbit to make sure I'm active every hour where possible. At work when I go for a wee I run up and down the stairs a few times. Probably look like a loon but ultimately I don't care!

Also accept that you will have good days and bad days. One bad day or even a week doesn't mean it's all gone to pot. Just accept it, move on and get back in the groove.

It is so nice to feel good about yourself, absolutely life changing. Have faith in yourself and you will get there.

Eat less/move more & counting really is the best way.
Rather than drastically dropping your current intake or partaking in fad diets, as this could potentially lead to binging, start by recording everything you eat during a typical day.
Then gradually reduce your average calorie intake by 200 per week until you've reached your target calorie intake (I'd recommend around 1200-1500 per day for around a 1lb loss per week)
It's the only way to lose and then actually maintain the loss. Crash diets work in the short term but as soon as you stop, the weight piles back on again.
Also, try and aim for 10k steps per day. Even walking round the house helps, every step adds up.

Think positive, you can do this!

What does a normal days food look like op?

My current mantra is nothing will change unless you make changes. I did my 2nd bootcamp class today 💪🏽

The problem with eat less/move more is the failure rate. Very very few people successfully lose the weight and keep it off in this way. Calories in/calories out may be true on the face of it but in/out are not independent of each other so it isn't as simple as eating less and exercising more. It becomes easy to fall into the trap of restricting until the weight loss slows up then becoming disheartened and regaining the weight and more. Hence yo-yo. Will power is a finite resource.