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Original poster

DH not home from work

29 replies

TreeTed · 08/09/2021 02:41

I know there’s always lots of these threads and the default is that he’s having an affair, this isn’t that.
He was due to finish at 11pm. It’s not 2:30am, but unusual in his work, but my mind is racing. Find my phone hasn’t been pinging, texts are now going as text message not iMessage.
Today was the first day at a new place, same job. He last read a text of mine at 8pm. If something had happened at work then I would be notified. I don’t want to think he’s had an accident driving home. He’s been late before but usually texts me it I can ping his phone and see where he is. I’m rambling. I’m sure it’s fine and I should sleep, but then I’m thinking I should be panicking more.
I haven’t phoned his phone, other than text as I don’t want to distract him if he’s still at work, as he would message me if it was appropriate, so if at work then he’s unable to get in touch for a reason. Just wondering if I did phone and it didn’t answer, how long I would wait until trying to contact his work place to see.

OP posts:

user1477249785 · 08/09/2021 02:44

OP I'd contact his work now. Unless he has a history of staying out all night, he is now over three hours late. Hope you find him soon.

ILoveANameChange · 08/09/2021 02:45

I hope your husband comes home soon.
Call him once or twice. He might end up responding by text.

Labracadabradoodle · 08/09/2021 02:45

I'd make a phone call.

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Etinox · 08/09/2021 02:45

When should he have left work?

Etinox · 08/09/2021 02:46

Sorry I missed that. I’d call him and the work landline.

Autumnally · 08/09/2021 02:48

I agree you need to phone somebody. His work if there is likely to be someone there who can confirm that he has left, and possibly the police in case there has been an incident on the way home and they can help in anyway.

There are all sorts of reasons, if you can’t ping his phone he could be out of battery and broken down, for example, but I would make a call in your shoes.

Original poster

TreeTed · 08/09/2021 02:51

His phone pinged 6mins ago, showing same place he was showing at since midnight so assuming work related. I will phone, I know it’s fine and I don’t want to be annoying. But I don’t want things to be wrong and to change if I do make that call and he doesn’t pick up.
He was due to finish at 11pm, due home about 11:50 after travel. Staying late isn’t uncommon, I just can usually see where he is or he messages once an hour over

OP posts:

Autumnally · 08/09/2021 02:56

What does he do? Is it generally a high risk occupation and is he likely to be alone? I would probably call him tbh

Original poster

TreeTed · 08/09/2021 02:56

I’ll ring his phone at 3am, don’t want it ringing if he’s somewhere unsuitable and he would have phoned if he could, so he must be somewhere inappropriate to not phone. I’m more relieved now it’s shown he’s somewhere, assuming he’s still at somewhere work related as not showing as somewhere that would be on the way home, so it’s away from his base and that’s more reassuring that it is work related.

I don’t have a landline number for his work, he was somewhere new today.
Sorry rambling, I’m upset when I know it’s fine.

OP posts:

AtlasPine · 08/09/2021 02:58

Hope he’s ok. Sounds worrying.

MyOtherProfile · 08/09/2021 02:58

I would just call - one call isn't being a nuisance.

Original poster

TreeTed · 08/09/2021 02:59

Sorry OP should have said “not unusual” to be a few hours late, but I can usually see where he is or after an hour or two he messages.

OP posts:

Veronika13 · 08/09/2021 03:02

Jeez he's your husband - you're allowed to call him if you're genuinely worried, is he going to get annoyed?
I wouldn't get annoyed if my OH was just concerned if I'm okay as it's late.

Have you phoned him yet?

Original poster

TreeTed · 08/09/2021 03:06

Phoned, went straight to voicemail.

I’m sure it’s work related, I don’t want to embarrass him on his first day in a new place trying to track him down.

He has a work number I will phone that, it’s complicated, and I just feel stupid for worrying and don’t want to show him up.

OP posts:

Original poster

TreeTed · 08/09/2021 03:07

No he would never be annoyed at me phoning, it’s the not wanting to embarrass him part or him panic if he has people telling him I’m trying to get hold of him as he’ll think it’s a medical emergency this end.

OP posts:

Original poster

TreeTed · 08/09/2021 03:14

Thank you for anyone who listened to me rambled. I found him on his work phone number, his mobile has died. He’ll be a few more hours at work. My heart goes out to anyone else who’s been in this situation for a lot longer.

OP posts:

AtlasPine · 08/09/2021 03:14

Does he have the sort of work where he may be on a call-out and unable to leave without someone taking over? Maybe his replacement hasn’t turned up?

AtlasPine · 08/09/2021 03:14

Ah sorry, cross posted. Glad he’s ok.

Autumnally · 08/09/2021 03:15

I surely can’t be the only person wondering what OP’s DH does that can sometimes take many additional hours in the middle of the night and make her nervous to call him and see what’s the holdup?! Is he a spy OP?

Autumnally · 08/09/2021 03:16

Glad he’s ok OP, I did wonder if his phone had died. Hope he’s getting some good overtime!!

Tiddlywinkly · 08/09/2021 03:21

That's good news op

RaspberryBeret1999 · 08/09/2021 03:22

Police, fire service, paramedic? Anyone of these could work over hours if on an urgent call, I’d assume.
Glad you got a hold of your husband, op.

Original poster

TreeTed · 08/09/2021 03:32

Thanks all, he’s police, not a spy 😂 didn’t want to ring his work phone if he was mid interview or something, an hour or two is usual, I’ve not had to phone his work phone before I don’t think. Sometimes he has been 7 hours post shift for extremes but I can see he’s at a police building at that point and he’s let me know. Not this time and new place today. So knew if something had happened at work I would have had a not welcome knock at the door. Phone pinging past 8pm was wrong due to phone battery dying.

OP posts:

Autumnally · 08/09/2021 03:34

I was being flippant, but of course police makes more sense. It must be very worrying OP, hope you get some rest.

When we were broken into last year, the police who came out and swept the house and garden at 0430 were absolutely wonderful.

Original poster

TreeTed · 08/09/2021 03:40

Sorry I know you didn’t mean it in that way. Like everyone else in the country everyone is stretched.
One day my neighbours are going to have a marked car visit for something harmless whilst he’s on shift and give me a heart attack seeing it pull up.
He works nights and they’re fine, I don’t sleep as well but he’s usually back on time in the morning. I won’t sleep now and will feel hangover I the morning, guessing it’ll be 5am or later now.
Sorry you were broken into, that would be so horrible.

OP posts:

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