What's the worst meal you've been served at a wedding?

[Higgeldypiggeldy35]

I'm veggie so unfortunately have had my fair share of shitty wedding meals as the vegetarians often seem to get shafted but this one takes the biscuit. Fancy wedding, very expensive and exclusive venue, meat eaters had a feast and it looked amazing, I was served......a grilled mushroom, and it was cold. This place is probably £100 per head at the very least and the best they could rustle up for a vegetarian was a mushroom. So, make me feel better, what's the worst meal you've been served?
This is meant to be light hearted 🐱

This was a £50k wedding
5 prawns on a plate bit of lettuce Marie Rose sauce

2 finger sized pieces of belly pork, half was fat which I couldn’t eat a small redcarrot a small white one and a small duchesse potato

A small piece of tiramisu

We were starving
And so we’re the rest of the guests when they announced the evening buffet
Judging by the stampede for burgers and sausages in buns

No meal at all as such! Left home at 10am venue was London. Wedding early afternoon at registry office, and then small family group of 9 went off to Claridges for slap up meal. Everyone else had to just roam around London until the pub event started around 4pm. Sadly everyone assumed there would be food. There was but it didn’t start coming out until after 8.30pm. Elderly guests who’d been out since the morning, some travelling a distance, were sitting eating crisps bought at the bar until it sold out. It was rammed as turned out open invites were issued. It was awful. At least the bride and groom thought it was great

Fish and chip takeaway which was okay in theory and sounds fun but it was all put in the middle and there was nowhere near enough I got about 3 chips and needed more food after 3-4 drinks already (was 25+years ago )

Oh and the food that came out wasn’t enough to feed even a quarter of the guests due to the unexpectedly high turn out due to the open invites.

Wedding of a friend - wedding breakfast was great - pre ordered meals from award winning local fish and chip shop. All labelled up so no one missed out. Pies, fish, veggie etc.
Then came the buffet for the evening - for day and night guests.
Family of couple had spent small fortune on amazing cheese and crackers buffet but that’s all it was just loads of cheese with some sporadic grapes and the cheese got hot and sweaty right next to the dance floor and absolutely stank. The worst smell! Really marred the celebrations as it was so pungent. It hadn’t been thought through sadly it was a lovely idea.

Some evening guests and us popped over the road to the amazing burger van on the hill about 10:30pm as we were really hungry … we had eaten the lovely meal many hours before and the evening guests were starving as they thought there would be a buffet not inedible melted stinky cheese. A lovely lovely day though

Last weeks vegan offering wasn’t brilliant or filling.

Starter nouvelle cuisine style. Lettuce leaf, a crisp and a few smears of sauce.
Mains - so unforgettable that I’ve forgotten.

Desert - things were looking up I thought - apple pie and vegan ice cream. Pastry base, a thin smear of apple bits and less than a desert spoon of ice cream.

Apart from cherry tomatoes all the pre dinner nibbles were either fish or meat.

Starving. Fortunately there was bread served later with the help yourself cheese platter.

Free bar though - pity I was driving.

@yumscrumfatbum that sounds horrendous!!

We went to a wedding it was someone my ex worked with and they had the most foul grotty burger van turn up to what was also one of the most rubbish weddings I've ever been to

The van was filthy as were the people on it we took one look and decided not to bother

It was just parked in the social clubs carpark and the club was grotty too

@jollyandbright that is some supreme cheeky fuckery right there!

Potted shrimp. 2003.

The bride was a bazillionaire and the food was appalling.

[quote NotPersephone]@Elphame Waitrose (and presumably other supermarkets) makes Parmesan without animal rennet.

So it can be veggie, but not vegan - that was my point. Veggies who enjoy a bit of dairy have to suck up a less appetizing (imo) vegan option because only one option will be “non-meat”.[/quote]
They make a Parmesan style cheese yes but real Parmesan has to have animal rennet in it or it isn’t Parmesan.

I have never yet been to a wedding with a buffet meal or a BBQ that wasn't shit.

@ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHaands

I’m shuddering reading these. It’s my wedding next week and I’d hate my guests to go hungry. We were on a small budget and are having an informal reception more along the lines of a party.

We have arranged a “mid range savoury buffet” via the venue (wraps, crisps, sandwiches, sausage rolls etc with dairy free and veggie options to cater for all) and the venue have kindly allowed us to do our own sweet options. My lovely friend is making cupcakes, brownies, millionaires shortbread plus a couple of other options and there will be cake cut on the night! Can’t imagine not doing so! A three tier chocolate cake with graduates frosting on our colour scheme.

Also a sweet table (actual sweets and bags) supplied by my lovely DS1 and daughter in law

It’s not posh or expensive but I don’t think anyone will go hungry.. I would be horrified! I’m a foodie too

I hope you don’t have any gluten free guests, otherwise they will be extremely hungry after a meal of crisps . Well that’s if your caterers can find the bag the crisps came in, as many are not gluten free.

If not , I guess they can nibble very slowly on a square of chocolate from the sweet bar and make it last all day .

Still at least the frosting on the cake matches your colour scheme.

Also a sweet table (actual sweets and bags) supplied by my lovely DS1 and daughter in law
Why? Why not concentrate on the actual food? Nobody needs a bag of sweets at a wedding, it's ludicrous.

Exactly 4 (vegetarian) ravioli squares, about 1.5cm each, glazed in some butterly drizzle with parmesan shavings. Absolutely delicious, but after a 2 hour wait at the table, this 'main meal' left me starving. I thought it was the starter, but nothing came afterwards except for a coffee and small wrapped chocolate - which had melted on the saucer by the hot cup. The bar was excellent, drink all you like, but on an empty stomach.

@GreyhoundG1rl

Also a sweet table (actual sweets and bags) supplied by my lovely DS1 and daughter in law Why? Why not concentrate on the actual food? Nobody needs a bag of sweets at a wedding, it's ludicrous.

Hahaha. Totally agree. See also popcorn machines and choc fountains. Every wedding I've been to that had this kind of stuff is just an excuse for a handful of children to throw stuff around for 10 minutes and then leave once they get bored. I've never seen anyone actually eat it!

Oh I've just remembered the wedding I went to with tiny cold portions had a chocolate fountain. The kids swarmed round it like flies and had their fingers in it

I must admit I prefer the traditional three course sit down meal with a buffet in the evening. My heart sinks a little when I hear the words "we're trying to do something a bit different". I don't really want fish and chips, hog roast or bacon sandwiches when I'm dressed in my best (mind you I'm not keen on hog roasts at any time). Also not keen on the idea of sweet or ice cream carts.

Not food, but drink related.
Once went to a 'dry' (as in no alcohol) wedding. It would have been fine if we'd have known beforehand but we didn't

@Prettybubblesintheair What is your problem? I can only tell you what happened. A venue who cater for international sporting events is hardly going to find cooking three vegetarian meals a trial are they?. Due to religion one of them shouldn’t have eaten the potatoes either.

I’m allergic to cows milk so I didn’t even get to taste my wedding cake, the Yorkshire puddings, the petit fours, the truffles in the bridal suite or the lemon tart dessert because I wanted real butter used in everything Dh said it was nice though.

We went to a wedding where the hog roast was called off due to weather and they “did it indoors” which tasted to me like slow cooked pork shoulder in a floury bap with a paper serviette. Dh is now banned from accepting wedding invitations after dragging me miles away in flood water conditions to stand in a converted barn eating cheap meat.

Hang on- what religion doesn’t eat potatoes?!

Jain.

I need to know what religion forbids potatoes and why. Or was it the way they were cooked?

If I hadn't have offered a vegetarian meal it would’ve been “waahhhh, Fluffys not catering for my needs” but because I did say have what you want because I have a food allergy and I know what it’s like NOT to be catered for it was “fuck you, we’ll eat the same as everyone else”.

I didn’t even ask for the grilled peppers and goats cheese in the evening, the chef did it anyway. I miss goats cheese. It didn’t go to waste though.