What's the worst meal you've been served at a wedding?

[Higgeldypiggeldy35]

I'm veggie so unfortunately have had my fair share of shitty wedding meals as the vegetarians often seem to get shafted but this one takes the biscuit. Fancy wedding, very expensive and exclusive venue, meat eaters had a feast and it looked amazing, I was served......a grilled mushroom, and it was cold. This place is probably £100 per head at the very least and the best they could rustle up for a vegetarian was a mushroom. So, make me feel better, what's the worst meal you've been served?
This is meant to be light hearted 🐱

Goats cheese starter, pannacotta for dessert. Two of gods most hideous creations!

@EspressoDoubleShot

I was offered bachelors cuppa soup with croutons in a bowl no crushed carrot It was table service, preplated food, everything drenched in gravy It was at a wedding in a working man club the b&g knew I was vegetarian. I asked where my soup was? There was a frisson and then I was presented with a cuppa soup. I have had plenty cuppa soup in my time it’s a locker staple. Sure know my cuppa soup

There’s a time and a place for cuppa soup. This is not it.

Posh lovely venue. Served a nice roast with an unidentifiable vegetable covered in gravy. After much debate, the vegetable was discovered to be pear. I think there has been a mix up in the kitchen. I was a bridesmaid so was sat with the parents who had paid for it so had to pretend that a gravy-covered pear was absolutely delicious.

@Patapouf

Goats cheese starter, pannacotta for dessert. Two of gods most hideous creations!

I love both those things!

@Flickeringgreenlight

Bangers and mash!

I think this was a trend a few years ago. I went to a couple of weddings that served it. Pretty boring dish for a special occasion but at least it was filling while drinking.

When the starters came out and it was Pâté for the men and melon for the ‘ladies’.

FFS!

@Lookingoutside

When the starters came out and it was Pâté for the men and melon for the ‘ladies’.

FFS!

Oh...

@Lookingoutside what? Is pâté assigned at birth?
Did anyone question this arrangement?

@GreyhoundG1rl @Marcipex

I questioned it, loudly to my partner and then ate half of his men’s Pâté. I was fucking livid and the (young) women nearby expressed their disapproval at my ‘spoiling things’. This was around 2007/8.

I don’t know, maybe the parents of the bride and groom chose the menu. Some of the men were very pleased with themselves and laughing as they ate their starters. Visibly excited by their trip back to the fucking 70s.

[quote Lookingoutside]**@GreyhoundG1rl* @Marcipex*

I questioned it, loudly to my partner and then ate half of his men’s Pâté. I was fucking livid and the (young) women nearby expressed their disapproval at my ‘spoiling things’. This was around 2007/8.

I don’t know, maybe the parents of the bride and groom chose the menu. Some of the men were very pleased with themselves and laughing as they ate their starters. Visibly excited by their trip back to the fucking 70s.[/quote]
Wow 🙄
I'm not sure that thinking is confined to the Seventies, though, I've seen it on here on the wedding threads.

A bride to be says she's doing table gifts and has chosen whiskey miniatures for the men; any ideas for the ladies?
And some numpty suggests packets of seeds or tiny jars of jam! 😂

I was eye rolling at you being accused of "spoiling things", btw.

When I was planning my wedding lots of sites said only cater for a certain % of the true number of guests for a buffet. On some it was as low as 40%. I'm guessing these are the ones that run out of food. What's that even about? Surely you provide food for all guests?

@DrCoconut

When I was planning my wedding lots of sites said only cater for a certain % of the true number of guests for a buffet. On some it was as low as 40%. I'm guessing these are the ones that run out of food. What's that even about? Surely you provide food for all guests?

That's truly bizarre. I've never known anyone not eat at a wedding.

@Lookingoutside

When the starters came out and it was Pâté for the men and melon for the ‘ladies’.

FFS!

In Aus and Nz there are often two starters and two mains (usually one lighter one heavier eg Beef or Fish) ) and rather than choosing beforehand the standard is to do an 'alternate drop' around the table and then people agree to swap between them.

It's bloody odd IMO but Totally normal here and I've heard it happening more in the uk.

Given most tables will be sat M F M F Are you sure it wasn't this and it just so happened the blokes got pate?

"A lot of venues encourage you to only cater for a certain percentage of evening guests. I’ve seen them suggest anything from 50-75%. Their justification being that your day guests will have had a three course meal and evening guests might eat before they arrive. But they forget that there can be hours between dinner and the buffet, and everyone is drinking, so they get hungry. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding with a decent evening buffet."

This is very true. Although I think our wedding meal itself was ok, and had a choice of 2 mains, the evening buffet was indeed a bit shit. I was somewhat embarrassed about that, but there wasn't much that could be done at that stage.

OMG to the person saying "what did you expect if you're a veggie?"

Seriously, it's not that fucking hard to find a decent bulk vegetarian meal and make it at least reasonably well!

Mushroom risotto is a nice tasty option; I've even made a vegetable risotto (with lightly steamed cauliflower and broccoli to provide "bite", as well as the other veg).
I'm not vegetarian, I haven't catered for any vegetarian friends for many many years, but I'd still be able to come up with something better than one fucking cold mushroom!

It's either snobbery or laziness on the part of the restaurant/caterers to refuse to do a decent vegetarian/vegan/gluten free option (guess what - a decent mushroom risotto will cover ALL of those bases, AND dairy free too!)

Oh meant to add in a few other options:
ratatouille
chilli without the meat but more beans
vegetarian lasagne
vegetarian moussaka

A good thing that happened to me once - I went to an Officers' Ball at a friend's mess. Set menu - sadly the soup and the main were both things I couldn't eat, so the lovely staff made me a spur of the moment cream of mushroom soup. It was fantastic! Best mushroom soup I've ever had.

[quote ILikeBrie]@ManifestDestinee yikes I like curry, I didn't pour the drink on my food, our friends did! I don't get the brown people thing 😬 this is one of my oldest friends, I'm a bit insulted you think my post was about that! Food was a disaster and we couldn't get drunk to make things better! It could have been English food and it'd been a disaster if it was vegan only and then bad meat and too much spice, no food for children... 😬[/quote]
It sounds like there was plenty of food for children, it just happened to be spicy. There must have been some bread.

Didn't you think to ask for yoghurt to lessen the spice? I had my plate liberally dotted with yoghurt by a friend, we were at her parents and I love Indian food, but this was Tamil food and that is hot.

Wedding in London, reception in an upstairs room of a restaurant that’s i believe was also a members club (or something similar) there was no where to sit so all guests were milling around and there was a live band that was too loud for anyone to chat. There was no food served at all other then the wedding “cake” which was one of those cheese towers, they just served up some cheese biscuits and that was it other then a few grapes as the garnish. I am not crazy about cheese and everyone was starving and bored so dived on the food, I managed to get one cheese biscuit and a couple grapes. We ended up making our excuses and going to McDonalds on Oxford Street, we met some of the other guests in there!

@Malin52

‘Given most tables will be sat M F M F Are you sure it wasn't this and it just so happened the blokes got pate?’

Yeah, the little menus on the tables actually stated ‘For the gentleman’ ‘For the ladies’.

Good grief! How on earth did anybody think that would be appropriate in the 21st century?

Mine was non. We all traipsed a couple of hours in a mini bus and I admit was looking forward to the buffet. For some reason we had set off at 2.30 so arrived hours before it started anyway. That's when we found out the venue didn't sell snacks

I was in early pregnancy and not drinking so probably was the only one that was bothered by lack of food. Some people the men didn't seem to think it odd

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

OMG to the person saying "what did you expect if you're a veggie?"

Seriously, it's not that fucking hard to find a decent bulk vegetarian meal and make it at least reasonably well!

Mushroom risotto is a nice tasty option; I've even made a vegetable risotto (with lightly steamed cauliflower and broccoli to provide "bite", as well as the other veg).
I'm not vegetarian, I haven't catered for any vegetarian friends for many many years, but I'd still be able to come up with something better than one fucking cold mushroom!

It's either snobbery or laziness on the part of the restaurant/caterers to refuse to do a decent vegetarian/vegan/gluten free option (guess what - a decent mushroom risotto will cover ALL of those bases, AND dairy free too!)

then all the vegetarians complain about mushroom risotto. If you do veg lasagne, they complain about that. Ditto goats cheese, bean chilli, moussake. There's comments on this thread complaining about perfectly normal food because they think its done too often. Completely forgetting that the meat dish will be chicken or salmon with boiled potatoes and veg....what do they want, a 5 course vegetarian global tasting menu? Mass catering is bland and boring.

Have to agree with you there @ManifestDestinee, there's often threads complaining about the vegetarian option being bland and unimaginative. In fact mushroom risotto probably comes out as one of the top one most complained about!! Goat's cheese anything coming in a close second.

The meat choice is usually just as unvaried but there's fewer threads, if any, about it being boring and bland.

Mind you I suppose there's often, but not always, a choice (red meat/white meat or meat/fish) for people who eat meat and one choice for vegitarians. Though I have seen a choice for vegetarians at weddings - and don't think it was Mushroom risotto or Goat's cheese tarlet either 😀.

Personally I think wedding food is usually poor when there's not enough or it's not an actual meal. A few sandwiches just doesn't cut the mustard, (buffets can obviously offer more than sandwiches, so I'm not ruling out those - greedy bastards aside!!)

The issue can be if the place under caters for what they charge, the bride and groom try to save money on the food or it's a pretentious menu. (I'll include the 'Real' Meat Eating Man and Delicate Lady menu in the pretentious group)