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Original poster

Y7 - tell me it gets easier.

32 replies

valerianroot · 06/09/2021 09:04

DS started Y7 last week and this morning he was just really not keen to go and think reality of it being a permanent thing is just kicking in. He doesn't have anyone to walk in with which I don't think helps so I walked him a bit of the way and then he did the last bit on his own and looked a bit like he wanted to cry. He's still really young for his age and is struggling with even doing his shirt buttons up.

Just want some reassurance it gets easier as feel like crying at the moment :(

OP posts:
zombielady · 06/09/2021 09:11

I could've wrote this. Ds was actually in tears this morning, I feel sick.

somethingischasingme · 06/09/2021 09:17

My ds hated it too. He was really anxious and then his form tutor called him a trouble maker when he lost his mask. ( he has 3 today!!)

Antsinyourpanta · 06/09/2021 09:22

Interesting as my DS has just started. He started primary without a care in the world compared to DD who had to be prised away from me in tears, and cried most days for probably a year.
However against all my expectations she started secondary like a duck to water. DS on the other hand had been in tears, struggles to make coherent plans to meet friends to walk with and seems to need about half an hour just to do his shoe laces up!! (Hes been wearing football boots and trainers with laces for years)
I'm hoping within a few weeks he will "get it" especially as I know his school are really homework-heavy in year 7 as well.

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RumblyMumbly · 06/09/2021 09:28

It's really early days Flowers they will be familiar with school / walking / homework soon and will get to know people in their class over the next few weeks. It's weird for them to be the youngest at school again but the feeling won't last forever.

Make them something nice for dinner and maybe set up for a friend to come over next weekend so they have fun things to look forward to.

Try not to worry too much, remember you have got through first day nerves in school and jobs before and gone onto enjoy them.

Original poster
valerianroot · 06/09/2021 09:29

Oh, it's so hard and they're still so little. Big hugs to all of you. Am sure primary was like this too but it was so long ago now.

OP posts:
RumblyMumbly · 06/09/2021 09:30

For anyone experiencing extremely upset children contact their tutor and the pastoral support team at school.

Davina69 · 06/09/2021 09:32

My poor boy threw up on the bus this morning he was so scared. I really hope he settles down as the week goes on as it's awful seeing him so upset

Original poster
valerianroot · 06/09/2021 09:36

@Davina69

My poor boy threw up on the bus this morning he was so scared. I really hope he settles down as the week goes on as it's awful seeing him so upset
Poor thing - it's so nerve wracking and I'm trying to recall how horrible first days at work are and then multiplying it x 100. Thank you @Rumblymumbly that's a really good idea. I'll message her this morning.
OP posts:
Miracle29 · 06/09/2021 09:45

Flowers I remember this all too well and I'm hear to say it will get better. My ds was the youngest in his year, very young minded compared to some in his year group. We live a 35 minute walk from the school itself and he had to walk. I walked him half way then ds walked the rest but he did used to ring me the rest of the way for the first few days until he was more confident. It might sound silly to some but it really helped settle his nerves (and mine) After a few months he made some friends to walk with. We lived the furthest so he'd walk to his friends house then both to school. It really helped to build his confidence. Having your dc say I don't wnat to go to school, pr you know they are upset is the worse feeling! I lost quite a few nights sleep worrying but now it seems like it was ages ago. Try ask him to make some friends and ask if they live near him. I'm sure he'll find someone but it will get better and he will get used to it. Going to high-school is a big jump.

Original poster
valerianroot · 06/09/2021 10:15

Thank you @Miracle29 - that's made me feel better. It's such a massive change and I think missing so much school last year really didn't help.

OP posts:
CloudPop · 06/09/2021 10:23

@Davina69

My poor boy threw up on the bus this morning he was so scared. I really hope he settles down as the week goes on as it's awful seeing him so upset
Poor chap. Hope he's ok.
0ntheg0again · 06/09/2021 10:51

My year 8 DS was in floods of tears this morning but I know he quite likes school so hoping it was just first day nerves. His school IPad is in for repair so having to go to the library to borrow one was apparently very scary

Hellocatshome · 06/09/2021 10:57

Oh goodness my youngest is starting tomorrow and compared to when his brother started he just doesn't seem ready at all. Cant do up his top button, cant do his tie even though its clip on and to make it worse he has tics which get worse when he is nervous or stressed! I could cry at the thought of it and I've still got a day to go!

Chilli08 · 06/09/2021 10:58

My dd has just started this morning. I walked her down to the bus stop and made sure she got on ok as first day. She was trying to hold it together. I really hope she has a good day. Doesnt help they have had no induction days due to covid so literally straight in. Luckily the sun is shining here so i had my sunglasses on to hide me welling up!

goldierocks · 06/09/2021 11:04

I completely agree with @RumblyMumbly.

Please get in touch with your child's form tutor and/or the pastoral team.

My DS's secondary school has a Y7 intake from a large number of different primaries (23 back in 2012). The school should know already -or be told- about children who don't have friends from primary. My DS's school ran a buddy system which worked brilliantly until the new Y7's found their feet.

To this day, one of DS's closest friends is a lad he met during his commute to school. The other lad was at a different school, but they both got the same train. They're now doing the same subject at uni together.

Starting Y7 is tough, I think especially for the smaller boys. If they are co-ed, the girls in their class look at least three years older and the Y11's look like adult men! I'm sure your DS will be fine Flowers

eeyore228 · 06/09/2021 11:04

Give him time to settle. Everything is so new and its a big jump from primary. He needs to find his way and make a few friends which will hopefully help him settle down. My DD did not get on well in primary and I was worried that she would struggle in Year 7 but she has done really well to my surprise and had grown up a lot. She's due to start Year 8 this week and the change in her compared to last year is overwhelming. I know they are all different but support him and encourage him and if he needs it talk to his tutor.

RumblyMumbly · 06/09/2021 11:15

Oh I forgot to add give them a massive comforting hug behind closed doors before they set out as they won't want you to do it in public but a hug always helps.

Optima282 · 06/09/2021 11:24

It definitely does get better. DS was year 7 last year, he was absolutely beside himself after the 1st day, he'd spent it lost and alone. Its so hard on us too because there's very little we can do to help them. My advice is to encourage friendships. I thought that was a no no at this age but actually you can still encourage them to invite new friends over or take them out somewhere. They're all in the same boat and will be relieved to have made a connection. He's got a nice group of friends now and once he'd found his feet he did settle quickly (this is a child that cried every morning before primary school for a good few years. He's always struggled).

Advice about the buttons. Get a pen and wiggle it through every button hole to loosen them up, makes doing them up much easier and I'm guessing you know the tie trick (keep it knotted and just loosen it).

Lots of hugs and treats and nice things to look forward to at weekends too. It will all be ok.

maofteens · 06/09/2021 11:47

My daughter just started new sixth form today . She's gone from a five minute walk at a school she's been at since Y2 to a 20 minute walk and 30 minute tube ride. She's quiet and introverted and was very very nervous. Of course the tube had issues and it took twice as long, so already 15 minutes late and then she walked right by her school entrance (it's unmarked as it's a separate building a block away from the main school). She called me in an absolute panic.
We had done a dry run to familiarise her with the journey as she's never been on the underground on her own (we've just moved from a small town 70 miles away). But she has no sense of direction and was stressed out already. I know by the end of the week the journey will be second nature, and hopefully she'll have made a couple friends. But that first day doesn't get easier, whether it's secondary, sixth form, uni or first job.

41sunnydays · 06/09/2021 12:35

My son had a terrible start to year 7. Didn't know anyone, was very shy. Even refused to go to school at one point. Now in year 8 a completely different child - really happy and settled

Original poster
valerianroot · 06/09/2021 13:38

Thank you for the positive stories :)

OP posts:
ChocolateRiver · 06/09/2021 13:58

I’ve been a secondary teacher for 16 years now and it will get easier. Everything you have described is normal. Not everyone will feel this way but a lot do. My form are year 9 now but when they were in year 7 I had one pupil who would cry coming into form nearly every morning. This pupil is completely fine now and is flourishing. I imagine he’s only done a day or two so far so give it until the end of the week (he’ll have done all of his lessons/met all his new teachers at least once by then) and if it’s no better ring school and speak to his head of year or give his form tutor a quick email. Just so they know how he’s feeling. They won’t even tell him you spoken to them if you would prefer that. I’m sure he’ll feel much better in time.

Dixiechickonhols · 06/09/2021 14:43

Help as much as you can behind the scenes at first. Check timetable with them make sure got right books, kit etc so they aren’t worried about getting in trouble. It’s a big jump and good habits take practice.

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 06/09/2021 14:47

DD started off really liking secondary school, now in year 9 she just toes the line enough to get by. She likes the social life, but not the work or the rules. It's a complete personality change from primary school. She's very bright, which is unfortunate, as it means she's in the top form without even trying.

RumblyMumbly · 06/09/2021 14:58

Yes as @Dixiechickonhols suggests always get them to pack their school bag the night before with the right books / equipment to save drama in the mornings.

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