Y7 - tell me it gets easier.

[valerianroot]

DS started Y7 last week and this morning he was just really not keen to go and think reality of it being a permanent thing is just kicking in. He doesn't have anyone to walk in with which I don't think helps so I walked him a bit of the way and then he did the last bit on his own and looked a bit like he wanted to cry. He's still really young for his age and is struggling with even doing his shirt buttons up.

Just want some reassurance it gets easier as feel like crying at the moment :(

It will get better OP honestly. It may take some time. Its such a massive, massive change for them.

My DS1 is 14 and started 3 years ago. He hates change. He is shy and introverted and our local primary is very small (one class per year) plus he only knew one person going to his new school, and they left him to it as they were with siblings.
Starting secondary was utterly overwhelming for him, plus he needed to get a train to school and back. The trains are often delayed or cancelled and he struggles to cope with this lack of consistency too.
I got the dreaded phone call on the first day, saying he was in tears. And the second. Then it dropped off a little. Then he pleaded illness so he didn't have to go in. It took months I won't lie. But he did settle in. He did make friends. He is still introverted as that's his nature, but confident in travelling and likes the school.

My youngest started today. I haven't had the dreaded phone call, but then I didn't expect to as he is the confident one. He also has his brother to help him out.

@valerianroot Y7 is difficult, it's such a massive learning curve for them. I think some of the problem is that we,as parents, try and 'big it up' telling them that they'll meet new friends, have a great time & how grown up they'll feel. Traveling to school can seem scary even with a friend.

If the reality doesn't match their expectations straight away then it can be hard. Lots of new faces, changing rooms for different lessons, new teachers (all threatening detention for being late). I remember one friend of my DD being in tears as she said you can get detention for just about anything & she didn't know all the rules.

On top of everything else it's very tiring for them too.

However, by half term I'm sure he will have settled down and become happier - I know mine did but that's not to say there weren't a lot of bumps along the way. They're now old hands & going into Y11 and GCSEs.

Thank you all. He had a really good day. He's super tired and not very chatty but he said it was all good. Fingers crossed for tomorrow! Hope all yours did too.

Contact the pastoral care teacher at school. They'll find him a buddy who can either meet him in school or walk with him. My DD was the same in yr 7 & this was a massive help
Good luck

My DS is in the same boat. We're in NI, so the kids have been in school for a few weeks already.

He's settling ok into the school work but told me last night he's not made any new friends yet. The kids he went to primary school with have started to drift into new friendship groups and he feels a little left behind.

He's an only child, shy kid, probably a little immature (no bad thing) and the other boys in his class are pretty outgoing. I'm trying to encourage him to not judge books by covers and maybe try saying hi to the the wee fella in his class who walks the same route as him.

It breaks my heart to see him feel so lonely.

How are everyone's DC getting on?

DD is in year 8, she seems happy enough but has no friends 😩. She's also autistic so struggles socially.