Help from Muslim MN please

[flowerpootle]

My new work friend and her husband and kids are coming for lunch at mine next week. They are Muslim. Obviously I won't serve alcohol or non halal meat but, any catering advice in terms of things to avoid? Also I hug her on greeting (outside of office) but should I not hug her DH / should my DH not give a kiss to her on greeting? (We are not English and we are usually fairly tactile). Sorry for this lack of sophistication but I'd rather ask than cause embarrassment or serve food they can't enjoy.

I’m from a Muslim country, not Muslim but raised by.
Bear in mind that while the below is in keeping with Islamic principles not all Muslims follow every precept. your best bet is to ask your friend herself.
No pork, and if you have dogs keep them away (it’s forbidden to touch one unless under specific circumstances).
Strictly speaking there’s to be no touching between unrelated members of the same sex.

*of the opppsite sex!

No alcohol and halal meat only, no pork whatsoever.

I wouldn’t try and hug her DH and your DH shouldn’t greet her with a kiss or anything physical like that.

I'd suggest cooking fish with gills. Most Muslims will eat fish and some kinds of shell fish but some don't eat shell fish and crabs are not usually considered halal.

Fish cooked in foil parcels mean you don't need to worry what was previously cooked in your pan (most people I've worked with who are Muslim are not usually particular, but Jewish friends, that can be another matter).

Check the soap you have in your bathroom, I had homemade soap out when a friend visited and it was made with lard. I did tell her and provided antiseptic gel but I didn't have any suitable soap in the house.

Nope your husband should not kiss her and you shouldn't kiss her husband, unless they are very strict a handshake is normally acceptable.

Have fun.

Ah great advice thank you. No dog, baked fish sounds ideal.

I'm sure they will appreciate the efforts you are going to

Are they even practising? They might not be?

If you’re making a desert, or providing sweets for the children, make sure that it’s all suitable for vegetarians (ie., not animal gelatine).

@flashbac

Are they even practising? They might not be?

They are yes

Please ask her directly. There’s a huge range in how people practise Islam in the same way that strict Catholics are different to Baptists. I’m Muslim and don’t eat pork or drink but that’s it. Other friends of mine are more observant while others drink but don’t eat pork etc. We all hug and kiss and would greet the DH of a new friend with a kiss or handshake. Just ask - she won’t be offended, it merely reflects well on you.

I'm sure they will appreciate the effort. Maybe just do baked fish, salad etc. I would probably avoid a physical greeting with the husband. No alcohol. No gelatine in dessert. That's about it really.

No touching opposite sex if they re practising, as said no pork, meat has to be halal, no gelatine or alcohol. Other than that they are normal people 😁

Women and men shouldn’t touch, be mindful of this at the dining table, if its cramped this can be quite difficult.

No dogs in the room, they’re haram.

Halal food, no shellfish/crabs etc.

Yes to all of the above. Don't be afraid to ask her if you are unsure about something. She will really appreciate the effort. Have a great time!

Can I ask why dogs are haram, are they seen as dirty?

@PresidentJoey

Can I ask why dogs are haram, are they seen as dirty?

You shouldn’t touch an animals mucus membranes, so animals that groom themselves are generally haram. They are permissible in certain circumstances, such as outdoor guard dogs or guide dogs.

Our auntie has had dogs (and cats) - so have our uncles (very religious family) so I suppose it depends on the people I guess (and this was in a theocracy).

I’d ask her beforehand if there are any no-nos. I’d not hug if I hadn’t met - play it by ear and follow their lead. If they/he was very religious I doubt they would accept the invitation.

I have some rather religious ones on the family and they would rather not offend anyone, especially a host.

With regards to food - of in doubt go veggie. No booze obviously (although they oughtn’t be a iffy if you have some because, again, it’s rude).

Muslims are not allowed to keep dogs in the house, dogs are not haram for existing lol.

@PresidentJoey

Can I ask why dogs are haram, are they seen as dirty?

Dogs are not haram. It's just that the saliva could be impure meaning you wouldn't be able to pray without getting changed.

I have a wide range of Muslim friends (self described as Muslim). Some are hair covering, strictly halal and Ramadan fasting. Others are dog owning, drink and take drugs and are gay. I would just ask your friends these questions as one rule doesn't suit all.

The dog issue is an interesting one - I have a Muslim ex Colleague who has a dog and is besotted with it (judging by her facebook postings) it definitely lives in the house. I know she keeps festivals, though I don't know how far she keeps Halal.

People make their own decisions about how to manage their lives in their faith communities.

And my strictest Muslim friend once looked after my dog for me while I went on holiday. I asked, she said yes, no problem. Seemed happy to do it. I admit I didn't know this was, or might have been a problem.

I’m a Muslim and we believe it’s not dogs themselves that are ‘haraam’ it’s their saliva that is unclean.

As others have said it’s best to stick to fish, veg and lentils. Personally the only shellfish we eat are prawns but there are differing views. No alcohol of course.

If you are doing a salad vinegar in the dressing might be an issue for some. My husband avoids it so I use lemon juice.

I’m guessing wine/cider vinegar?