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Original poster

Would anyone else find this a bit disturbing?

117 replies

pollyglot · 05/09/2021 00:25

We bought a house about 4 months ago from a 70-something couple who had built it. We never met them nor had anything to do with them, but did see them once driving out of the gate, so recognised them. We're down a long drive with trees, and from time to time we see them standing at the gate just staring. I have waved but they just scuttle off. On other occasions, they sit in their car on the road at the gate and look. I have no idea where they live, though I gather they are in a retirement home. I'm imagining that they are annoyed that the garden isn't as tidy as it was when they were here! I'm starting to feel a bit...paranoid!

OP posts:
Dizzy1234 · 05/09/2021 08:33

I think it's very sad, your house was probably their family home, where they raised their DC and full of memories of their life.
I have taken my mum to see her old house, where we live now, we got out of the car, had a bit of a nosy down the street, we've been twice in 15 years.
I have also been to visit the house I grew up in, 200 miles from where we live now, had a weekend away then travelled to a suburb to see our old family home, took some photos for my mum, one of my sisters was born in the front bedroom, I was surprised how many memories it stirred up, our old house, my childhood friends houses, grandparent old house, places we played at kids, quite emotional really.
My DD has bought a house from a family who's parents (died) were the only people who had ever lived in the house, the daughters have been back to visit from the outside, my DD invited them in but they refused as they said it would make them too sad.
I think visiting a place where you had happy memories isn't that strange, I feel a bit sorry for the people in your situation, I wonder if they get in the car and say let's go for a look at the old place. ❤️

Summersnake · 05/09/2021 08:34

All their memories are in that house ,they probably raised their children there ..they are not causing any harm ,let them be

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 05/09/2021 08:35

Probably just an old couple reminiscing about a house where they brought up family, spent many years of happy married life, made lots of memories etc. They're maybe embarrassed about being seen.

OnlyFlans · 05/09/2021 08:36

I was thinking 'ah they are probably just sad about selling on their family home' but now you've said they only built the house 3 years ago i think it's a bit odd they come and stare at it!

Dizzy1234 · 05/09/2021 08:36

Just read your update about the house being 3 yrs old, forget my previous theory, I'm getting wistful, fanciful and emotional in my old age, they're being nosy 😂

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 05/09/2021 08:37

Ah sorry I missed your update. Ignore my previous reply then!

CrazyCatStory · 05/09/2021 08:50

Oh god, I remember finding the old lady we bought from just standing staring at the front garden after I’d taken out her rose bushes. In my defence it was a tiny garden and had way too many roses on it. She looked heart broken, and I felt like a murderer for a day! On the day we moved in she was also waiting there for us to “show” us round. Very odd. The movers thought it was hilarious.

LouLou789 · 05/09/2021 09:02

I’d find it annoying. Also, we’ve recently moved from a house we had for 30 years and I would actively avoid going back to look at it as I know the new owners will have made changes to their own tastes and I’d rather just remember it how it was

Hillary17 · 05/09/2021 09:03

My mother in Law does this Shock. I have told her it’s creepy but ever so often she diverts routes to look at her old house and see what they’ve done to the place. Guess it brings back happy memories.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 05/09/2021 09:05

That's sad. If they had to move to a retirement home then maybe they really miss the home they built and lived so many years in.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 05/09/2021 09:07

GAH. I also missed the bit about it being a new build!
Well then it's just weird.

WutheredOut · 05/09/2021 09:07

Having read your last update about it being a three year old self build …. They are obviously driving by and looking in shock that the house hasn’t fallen down yet…

MrsEricBana · 05/09/2021 09:08

My good friend and neighbour recently moved away. Her (nice) neighbour updates her on goings on here. My friend was recently upset and up in arms because a particular plant had been dug up. I mean, yeah, but...
(I won't tell her that her beautiful garden room is now the bedroom of a huge, slobbery dog!)

GoWalkabout · 05/09/2021 09:09

I think it's somewhere to go when they go for a drive. The more you wave hopefully the less they will come - one of them will get embarrassed.

whiteroseredrose · 05/09/2021 09:13

Your update does make it sound odd.

PIL are finally going to sell the family home. FIL put his heart and soul into remodelling it as did MIL with the decor. They have had the house for 55 years and it will be a wrench. So many memories.

A three year investment is not the same!!

Babymamamama · 05/09/2021 09:14

They might possibly have dementia and maybe moved into care home against their own wishes. I find it sad to imagine.

SweetBabyCheeses99 · 05/09/2021 09:18

Aww it’s sad and sweet. Maybe they’d like to help you in the garden? I’m not suggesting that you exploit the elderly for free labour! But if it’s a nice day perhaps they’d enjoy a little potter and a cup of tea? They’re prob desperate to give you some gardening tips!

yourestandingonmyneck · 05/09/2021 09:33

Completely understandable even in normal circumstances, but the fact they actually built it themselves makes it even more understandable and poignant.

Maybe don't let on that you've seen them as it would be sad if they felt they had to stop coming. If I were you and I had the opportunity I would like to speak to them and invite them in.

It would probably mean a lot to them but I would also love to hear stories about the house.

yourestandingonmyneck · 05/09/2021 09:36

....having just seen your update about having only built it 3 years ago and as an investment I guess it maybe is a bit odd.

Do still own any of the surrounding land? Maybe they are checking that out to possibly build soemting else?

Theworldishard · 05/09/2021 09:38

@lottiegarbanzo

Annoying but not disturbing. They're hardly likely to be a threat. They're just nosy.
Sorry but that Is disturbing. What happens if at night time a car is sat there just staring. It sounds like the house is a little more secluded. Also how can you tell they're not likely to be a threat? Do you know them? OP none of this is ok.
BillyJoe111 · 05/09/2021 09:39

Oh God that’s sad.

I sometimes drive to where I lived with ex h when ds was a little toddler and just park up in the street for a bit when I’m really low. Just takes me back to a few years in my life where I was actually happy, it’s a comfort just to be there.

jozipozi31 · 05/09/2021 09:39

They feel ownership. They had the land forever. Now they're in a retirement home. It's hard to let go. They may well regret having sold. Being close and seeing the familiar views will help reassure them they still have their identity.

It's very sad and I don't think they're threatening. I'd just wave and smile. They need time.

Theworldishard · 05/09/2021 09:42

@Summersnake

All their memories are in that house ,they probably raised their children there ..they are not causing any harm ,let them be
No I'm sorry that is not normal and not ok. Would you be happy with a car sat outside your house staring at you? Of course not, so don't make out to the OP she is being OTT because she is not. If this is not dealt with it could escalate. They'll come more frequently etc. THIS IS NOT OK.
Kezzie200 · 05/09/2021 09:46

Speak to them. They were probably really sad to have to move.

We had the old owner return a few times. He had dementia. We would call the family to collect him and bring him in, or let him sit in the garden.

He used to ask if his brother had been around recently and say things like "there used to be a lovely fire here"

Try and put yourself in their shoes and be kind. I agree about covid, what about the garden?

Kezzie200 · 05/09/2021 09:51

I've just the 3 year old build...maybe not so many memories there then. Our owner also had the house built for them but had been here 40 years! His wife had died here, in a fire, and all his family brought up here. His business was close by too (where he moved to as it was a flat)