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Original poster

Would anyone else find this a bit disturbing?

117 replies

pollyglot · 05/09/2021 00:25

We bought a house about 4 months ago from a 70-something couple who had built it. We never met them nor had anything to do with them, but did see them once driving out of the gate, so recognised them. We're down a long drive with trees, and from time to time we see them standing at the gate just staring. I have waved but they just scuttle off. On other occasions, they sit in their car on the road at the gate and look. I have no idea where they live, though I gather they are in a retirement home. I'm imagining that they are annoyed that the garden isn't as tidy as it was when they were here! I'm starting to feel a bit...paranoid!

OP posts:
JustGiveMeGin · 05/09/2021 03:15

I wouldn't be inviting them in! They clearly have time on their hands and suspect boundaries.
If they are living in a home they could quite well be wistful for their old lives but that isn't the OP's problem.
I would advise caution, remember just because someone is elderly doesn't necessarily make them a 'nice old dear', I would be making enquiries as to which home they are in and seeing if I could have a polite word with anyone as a first step.

PivotPivotPivottt · 05/09/2021 03:34

My gran used to get my mum to run her past her old house aftee she moved if they were ever passing. When she realised they had decorated she wanted to chap the door and "give them a piece of her her mind" 😳.

PurpleOkapi · 05/09/2021 04:39

I don't think it's disturbing. I just think it's incredibly sad. They probably have a lot of happy memories in that house, and were devastated at having to leave it. I doubt the garden was perfectly tended or the inside always immaculate when they were raising their own children in it. Maybe they're reminiscing about their younger years, or maybe they take joy from seeing a younger family bring the place back to life. They're not hurting anything, and trying to stop their strolls down memory lane seems cruel under the circumstances.

KhalliWhalli · 05/09/2021 05:22

I wonder if you are living in my PIL old house Grin. They lived in a beautiful house in the city nearly 50 years ago but sold it and moved to the suburbs.

They keep every newspaper ad whenever it has come up for sale over the years. And occasionally they'll go and take a look, to see how it is.

DH has taken me a couple of times over the years to look at the house, even though his parents had sold it years before he was born so he never actually lived in it.

MyOtherProfile · 05/09/2021 05:37

@ParkheadParadise

No, I wouldn't find it disturbing. I often sit outside my old family home.
Why would you do that? Driving past is one thing, sitting outside is another, and frankly quite odd.

I sometimes walk past our old house going to our friends. I do have a bit of a nosey as I pass but I wouldn't go out of my way to see it. You have to draw a line once you move.

QueenofLouisiana · 05/09/2021 05:46

I’d find it disturbing. I’ve just read The Woman in the Dark, which may not help my perspective on this though!

TokyoTammy · 05/09/2021 06:20

They are not dead and it isn't their ghosts ....

The old man has finally confessed to his wife he was part of the Isabella Stewart Gardner heist in 1990 and there is 300M of artwork buried in the back garden. He's told her now as they've only recently got his medication right and his long term memory is returning.

They are trying to figure out how they are going to recover the loot.

Grin
Original poster
pollyglot · 05/09/2021 06:29

@TokyoTammy - love the story! Unfortunately, none of the decades-of-happy-family-and sentimental-attachment is true. They built the house themselves (he was a builder), and it is only 3 years old. According to my source this afternoon, they built it as an investment to sell on for retirement income, on land they had owned for years and left empty while abroad. Not quite the same as the happy nest theory. But thank you anyway! I'm glad that some think it's a bit odd.

OP posts:
HestersSamplerofCarrots · 05/09/2021 06:39

I think it’s more than a bit odd.

I think they need to naff off!

PurpleOkapi · 05/09/2021 06:51

[quote pollyglot]**@TokyoTammy - love the story! Unfortunately, none of the decades-of-happy-family-and sentimental-attachment is true. They built the house themselves (he was a builder), and it is only 3 years old. According to my source this afternoon, they built it as an investment to sell on for retirement income, on land they had owned for years and left empty while abroad. Not quite the same as the happy nest theory. But thank you anyway! I'm glad that some think it's a bit odd.[/quote]
Ok, well, then yeah, that's weird. Though I think it's pretty impressive that he built it himself in his 70s. I like the theory about the stolen loot!

daytripper28 · 05/09/2021 06:52

@pollyglot - The house is 3 years old??

How old are the couple? That is most definitely creepy and annoying....especially when they don't wave back when you're waving at them.

I'd go running up the drive and ask them what they wanted.

byvirtue · 05/09/2021 06:52

I’ve moved quite a bit, so whilst I own property, I see myself more as a custodian for the period we live there rather than it being my property for ever more. I think I’m in the minority however!

The old owner of our house is constantly returning to our home. It was his childhood home, he inherited it, bought up his family there then decided to sell it and move to something smaller close by in their retirement. We live up quite a long private drive so you can’t see the property from the road yet he comes round for a snoop every month or so under the guise of having lost his dog. I’ve even seen him peering through our windows on cctv when he thought we weren’t home which was the final straw for me. We decided to install electric 2 metre high gate to keep him out. He hasn’t lived here for about 15 years it’s bizarre.

daytripper28 · 05/09/2021 06:53

@MrsEricBana - Thanks for the heads up on the Dutch House book - love Ann Patchett and may have to read that at some point...

Original poster
pollyglot · 05/09/2021 06:59

Yes! MrsEricBana - thanks for the info about the Dutch House-deffo on my reading list for end of lockdown.

OP posts:
RubySlippers123 · 05/09/2021 07:11

@MrsEricBana

Sad for them but not disturbing for you as such. Have you read The Dutch House by Anne Patchett?
Immediately thought this!
MumUndone · 05/09/2021 07:34

I think it's intrusive. I certainly wouldn't be inviting them in.

FrangipaniBlue · 05/09/2021 07:38

I was in the camp if they're just sad to leave it, or maybe one of them has dementia and the other is bringing them to see the house as comfort.....

Until I read your update 😳

No, it's just odd!!

Howareyouflower · 05/09/2021 07:40

My Mum and Dad moved into a lovely house that was a converted coach house to a large Victorian Villa. The man who owned the villa had lovingly converted the coach house for him and his wife to move into when he retired. Unfortunately his wife had a stroke just as they were about to move in, so at that point he bought a flat in sheltered housing. A week after they moved in, his wife died. He used to call in regularly and tell my parents all about how he'd done the conversion, and how he'd never have sold the house if he'd known his wife was going to die anyway. Mum said she felt really guilty and it was about five years before she stopped feeling as if she was squatting in "his" house.

romdowa · 05/09/2021 07:48

Yanbu, them being at the bottom of the drive regularly would creep me out. I'd have to approach them and ask if I could help them in some way.

Mariell · 05/09/2021 07:55

Their beloved pet called Tiddles went missing when they lived there and they return in the hope that they might spot Tiddles In the grounds of the house.

Unfortunately for you, Tiddles is a 15ft Boa Constricter.

TheWeeDonkey · 05/09/2021 08:14

@ICantFindTheBuffet

This sounds like the opening of an ITV drama. You track down the retirement home, call and find out they died in a car accident 3 months ago Shock

Ok, time for bed Grin

Okay yes, thats exactly what I was thinking! 😱
LadyPenelope68 · 05/09/2021 08:18

I think it’s really odd and those saying invite them in are bizarre! You’ve bought their house, it’s nothing to do with them anymore. Totally weird.

HappyRaven · 05/09/2021 08:23

Have you watched the Intruder with Dennis Quaid. They will be cutting your grass next.

northbacchus · 05/09/2021 08:29

Have you changed the locks since you moved in? The old owner of a friends house was letting themselves in to collect post! Shock

CutePanda · 05/09/2021 08:31

Get a camera on the gate and make notes and keep the footage of when they arrive and leave. This is so creepy and a form of harassment. I would hate this.

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