New to the Dance Festival world - do I just need to roll with every new demand?

[WithCatLikeTread]

I am not a Dance Mom at all, but DD loves dancing.

She’s been doing ballet and tap for a few years and has begged to go on the festival team for a while.
It all sounds like a total PITA to me so I’ve said no however I’ve given in (for one year to see what it’s like).

So far, have had 3 private lessons to start learning the routine, need to plan a weekly one (don’t know for how long?). £££
Been told which costume they are going to get for her and had to pay for it. £50.
Had to sign up for various festivals with no clue as to which day she may even be performing (I run a bit so spend most weekends running so not sure how I’m going to juggle driving around the county to get her to these random places!).

Now been sent a link to what looks like a totally boring plain tracksuit she has to have for festivals. With her name embroidered on the front. £50.

I’m a bit ( a lot) wtf? But no other mums have said anything that I’ve seen and I know they were asking for a ‘uniform tracksuit’ so assume they’ll be happy.

Do I just need to roll with it and suck it up?
I always seem to be the grumpy non-keen dance mum in the room so don’t want to be the first objector.

Other dance mums experiences? Have I bitten off way more than I can chew?! 😂

That sounds pretty normal tbh. I had two dancers and spent a small fortune. I also had to learn to do hair which is not something I'm naturally skilled at! You will need a large box for hair and makeup stuff and suit covers to protect costumes. You also have to pay entry fees per dance and for you to get in. It became second nature for years but when dd3 stopped I relished the free time and money I regained! I don't regret it, the dancers become very close, they support each other and in group dances they learn about teamwork and that it's a commitment to others.

I was so glad when DD ditched dance and switched to Cheer!! Much cheaper and only 5 competitions a year for her club.

If it bothers you, but your DD loves dancing, just move to a different dance school.

Mine go to a lovely school; dance several hours a week. Not a sniff of a festival or competition. I think the teachers would faint at the idea of entering one.

There are other ways to enjoy dancing.

Or you could be like my mum: made the odd costume, that was it. Never came to watch me compete (don't know why, I was quite good) and she didn't drive anyway.

I don't appear to have been damaged by this

Thanks all.

LonelySock - I couldn’t move her now, she loves the teachers and the other girls (& couple of boys). Plus hers is the least competitive school locally!

KateF - I’m clueless with hair, the others all take pity on me and we get to things like exams and shows early so they can do her hair. Random last minute requests for certain hairstyles are beyond me!
Paying to get in!? I remember now some dumb poetry competition school signed her up for and we had to pay to get in, I thought they were kidding!

RandomMess - cheer seems scarier to me though!

I guess I’ll just say yes to the tracksuit then!

Yep, suck it up. Be glad she's not into Irish dancing.

StCharlotte - I’m already considered a bit of a weirdo in dance circles as I let other mums take her to exams, don’t go to every sitting of every show, don’t take 500 posed photos, etc. 😂

Definitely not talented enough to make the specified costume sadly!

Fiddle - now that is a fair point, esp as I’m Irish, should thank my parents for moving me abroad at an early age!

£50?!!! Think yourself lucky!

Yeah Irish Dancing, have you looked at what those shoes and dresses cost...

Oh yes, my SIL was into competitive Irish Dancing (before we knew her) and she’s told us plenty of stories about the outfits, shoes, hair, etc.

‘Normal’ me would def not pay that for a —plain boring— tracksuit.

I thought it might at least match the dance uniforms in some way but it doesn’t. And my DD grows like a weed so will be another £50 soon.

Plus we’ve already been told festivals only for sep/Oct - & she’s only in the Oct ones as new to the team. Then pausing festivals for show rehearsals for Feb. Then back to festivals again.

By which time she’ll have outgrown the tracksuit and the specific costume 🙄

I’ll have my moan on here and bite my tongue to the teacher!

Dancing is hugely expensive. We’ve done Irish dancing and street dancing. Irish dancing was way more expensive. I was very glad when my dd gave it up. Cheapest and best value hobby my kids have ever had was scouts by a mile.

Agree re Scouts!

Has cost me time as I was a cub helper, but free now as all in scouts/explorers.
Camps are cheap, uniform is limited and reasonably priced. Subs aren’t even that much.

Another accidental dance mom here. You basically have to surrender all your money and spare time to the dance teachers' whim. Resistance is futile.

Resistance is futile - love it! 😂

I see your dance mom and raise you synchronised skating mom

Team training, private lessons (£50 a pop) to be good enough to make the bloody team, early morning training, after school training, weekend training...

Competitions here and abroad £££ ...

Oh god I could go on til I weep. DD quit just before lockdown and I was instantly thousands of pounds better off. And we struggled to find the money - never thought I'd be one of those numpties who made sacrifices for their child's hobby!

Synchronised skating?! 😱

At least dance lessons seem to stick to human hours after school.

Be grateful she's not a musician! I could have bought a small house with what we've spent (well in a cheap part of the country) violin bow was £400, just the bow!

Welcome to my world 😆

I'm retired now thankfully but at the height dd danced 5 days a week in 8 different styles 😱

I had no spare time or money, weekends were spent in class or travelling to a competition or waiting to do an exam.

But she loved it, made great friends and I wouldn't have changed a thing!

Disappointed, I thought this was going to be about raves and wondered what the demands could be

So sorry FlyingScott!!

Gogohm- she has piano lessons but is talking about giving them up, I’d prefer music as that’s what I grew up with, and still play (pre covid). Would prefer an orchestral instrument but she’s not showing much interest.
I’m used to costs in music, so maybe just need to adjust to dance. I got more on board with ballet exams once I thought of them as equivalent to music exams (not saying they’re not, just I hadn’t thought of them that way originally).

Dancemom - my sympathies! I’m pretty sure dancing isn’t in Dds future in a serious way so it is a short lived thing overall.
But, do I let her sign up for every style she does in the Feb show???
Have asked in the mums whatsapp for advice but no response yet.
Think it could be 6 routines, and costumes, and hairstyles, and makeup, and and and…..

Do the dance school have any system for selling second hand outgrown 'uniform' ? Then at least you might be able to save a bit on some of the stuff. I mean things like tracksuits are going to be hardly worn if they just wear them for competitions etc - they'll be grown out of long before they are worn out.
Maybe suggest it if they don't !

I might encourage that thanks.

So far I’ve just passed on leotards, any shoes with life left, etc.

Why are ballet shoes so flimsy? At least they’re cheap. Tap shoes on the other hand…

And then there’s modern and jazz etc. etc.

And Dds feet grow fast too!

Yes sounds completely normal, I said no to Dd joining for all of those reasons as well as that whilst some dances were beautiful several of them really didn't seem appropriate for the age of the dancers and far too sexualised for a group of under 10s.

I hadn’t considered that, although I’ve seen photos and some videos of the others and they have looked suitably ‘childish’.

I’ve seen her dance at the end of a lesson and it’s fine, but worth me keeping an eye on for sure.