New to the Dance Festival world - do I just need to roll with every new demand?

[WithCatLikeTread]

I am not a Dance Mom at all, but DD loves dancing.

She’s been doing ballet and tap for a few years and has begged to go on the festival team for a while.
It all sounds like a total PITA to me so I’ve said no however I’ve given in (for one year to see what it’s like).

So far, have had 3 private lessons to start learning the routine, need to plan a weekly one (don’t know for how long?). £££
Been told which costume they are going to get for her and had to pay for it. £50.
Had to sign up for various festivals with no clue as to which day she may even be performing (I run a bit so spend most weekends running so not sure how I’m going to juggle driving around the county to get her to these random places!).

Now been sent a link to what looks like a totally boring plain tracksuit she has to have for festivals. With her name embroidered on the front. £50.

I’m a bit ( a lot) wtf? But no other mums have said anything that I’ve seen and I know they were asking for a ‘uniform tracksuit’ so assume they’ll be happy.

Do I just need to roll with it and suck it up?
I always seem to be the grumpy non-keen dance mum in the room so don’t want to be the first objector.

Other dance mums experiences? Have I bitten off way more than I can chew?! 😂

Another dance mom here. In my experience the commitment and expense grew over the years. When we originally started it was a few hours on a Saturday.

On reflection I think it contributed to my failed marriage and divorce from their dad. We ended up with no family time. Weekends and most evenings were monopolised by dancing.

Not long after we divorced they stopped dancing (their choice). It is only when you stop, that you realise how much of your life it took over.

Yeah I hate to say it, but one costume & tracksuits is just the tip of the ice burg!
Be thankful it’s a plain tracksuit, the uniform one we have is £55 just for the jacket! Then add the trousers, shorts, crop tops, leotard ….
Also £50 is for a very basic costume usually, some of the ones in our school costs £100’s.
As for private lessons, these usually carry on for the whole time they are competing, they don’t stop once they have learnt their dance. They practice & polish it and then start on a second dance.

@Blueskythinking123

Another dance mom here. In my experience the commitment and expense grew over the years. When we originally started it was a few hours on a Saturday.

On reflection I think it contributed to my failed marriage and divorce from their dad. We ended up with no family time. Weekends and most evenings were monopolised by dancing.

Not long after we divorced they stopped dancing (their choice). It is only when you stop, that you realise how much of your life it took over.

Agree! My daughter is out of dance at the minute following surgery, and I’m seriously questioning if we can go back to the whole commitment.

My DD does dancing AND competition gymnastics. She's trying to kill me.

My only advice is to get the tracksuit in a size up so it lasts a bit longer. And try and make friends with a girl the same age in the group above, who can pass down embroidered stuff. (Change your DDs name if necessary, it'll save you a fortune)

Sounds about right and the expense only gets more and more from what I've seen from the parents at the dance classes we used to go to (we were bullied out once the kids moved on from being the cute toddlers yanking leotards out of their arses cash-cow for the owner division) who went into the festival team. They all quite quickly lost the plot being sucked in completely and lost most of their wallets as well - and they've all been utterly lost during lockdowns as it was like their entire life.

I'm angry at how we were bullied out - DD2 has dyspraxia and I think the competition crowd had decided she was "slowing" the Saturday morning everyone in for ballet and tap classes "down" or something so made our lives hell - but DD2 absolutely adores dancing. Moved her to a lady who taught for the sheer love of teaching dancing in a local church hall - with a huge carrier bag full of outgrown shoes to pick and choose from and just put back in when your child grew out of them - but Covid and the church hall being very risk averse returning to being open meant that lady decided to throw in the towel and retire.

BlueSky - I’m sorry to hear that, I hope you’re getting to do what suits you more now.

FawnFrenchie - hope the surgery recovery goes well. I’ve been like that about a few activities I had to give up because of Covid. Do I really want to go back to them??
Bad news for me on the private lessons then!

ACPC - 😂

Moira - I will get a big one I think, esp as she grows so quickly anyway. Goes up to £55 for anything bigger than an age 13. She’s already wearing age 13 clothes from the high street.

Coffee - that is sad. DD had dyspraxia too. Inadvertently I helped her by not engaging early on so she didn’t do the first basket exam when she should have. So she’s now with a group who are all younger than her. Gives her a little bit of help I think. Adds to the feeling that dancing really won’t be in her future, so I’m happy to go along with it for now.

I thought gymnastics squad was bonkers until dd2 was invited to join the dance squad. Omfg. The cost is insane, the level of commitment brutal. And just as I get my head around one level of madness, there’s a new decree that squad members must do an additional weekly class / turn up to xyz/ pay for £€$¥ etc etc. I long for the simple days of international gym competitions. They were less fussy about the hair. If in doubt, add glitter.

@AtillatheHun ditch dance and find a Cheer club - gymnastics and dance in one, group classes and squad so by default cheaper!!

Randommess- she wants to do contortion and aerial silks next 😩

Cheer and circus school, ditch dancing ££££££ saved!

Argh, who was it who said I need to sell my soul?!

Have first timetables through and getting some actual details about all this festival shenanigans.
Safe to say I would not have signed up if I’d known!

First one is 1.5hrs drive away, she’s dancing at 6.30pm on a Saturday that we have family visiting.
On her own, no other girls dancing anywhere near the same time from the school.
Definitely not the plan!

Second one, is even further away.

Now found out I have to be there 1.5hrs before the announced time in case they run early (wtf?!).
And can’t know when it might end as no one knows how many will turn up for her section!

So could be there late into the night. What kind of organisation is this?!!

And I have to deal with hair and makeup…err she’ll be doing it herself then! Only agreed as other mums said they’d help me out. That worked then, not.

Who does this sh*t for fun, honestly???

Oh and we’ve gone for the adult tracksuit as she’s tall for her age, so that’s £55 🙄