Should I seek an ASD diagnosis for DD(10)?

[sleeplessbunny]

DD has just turned 10. She is lovely, usually happy, gets on ok at school but is suffering with anxiety at the moment and has a number of unusual traits that have got me wondering if I should be seeking a diagnosis and/or additional support for her. I am genuinely not sure what behaviours might be reasonable for an NT 10 year old and which (if any) might indicate ASD. She presents as a fairly standard 10 yo, a little shy and stubborn but educational attainment is largely normal. Her anxiety is ramping up at the moment though and I am starting to wonder if I might be missing something.

I know there are lots of wise MNers with experience looking after neurodiverse children and I would appreciate your insight.

Here is a list of the behaviours I have remarked on:

• finds eating noises distressing, this is currently causing angst at mealtimes
• constantly putting things in her mouth, like a toddler but she has never grown out of it. Chews paper, sleeves, pens, balls, anything really.
• poor time management (also noticed at school), seems to lack a concept of elapsed time generally and cannot accept the concept of a deadline - I use 5 min, 1 min warnings etc but there is usually a meltdown every time she has to stop doing something so we can leave the house on time
• good ability to concentrate on one thing for a long time - this was particularly noticeable when she was younger as most of her peers would get bored of an activity much more quickly
• extremely good at art - has been drawing better than most adults since she was 5 and is now exceptionally good
• perfectionist, particularly with any art/craft/written work. This merges with the problem of time management I think - she won't stop until she is happy with what she has created.
• slow reading & writing - behind average but not sufficiently poor to cause problems at school
• intolerant of restrictive or uncomfortable clothing - less of a problem these days as she chooses her own clothes anyway but has resulted in meltdowns in the past
• strokes labels and ribbons when tired - started this at ~6months and became obsessive about certain labels, which she then stroked until they disintegrated (which then caused meltdown)
• only wears one type of sock
• doesn't seem to know when she is hungry or thirsty (but eats and drinks well when offered)
• suffers from migraines which first started when she was 2.

I'd really appreciate objective views on this list. TIA

Seek an assessment, yes. Diagnosis- those assessing her will make that judgement.
Good luck.

It sounds worth a referral. It can often take longer for the dots to join together in girls.

We got our referral for DS through our GP.

Thanks @CovidPassQuestion. I might be using the wrong wording - I think you're right, it is an assessment I am considering I suppose.

@BogRollBOGOF did you just go to the GP with a list a bit like the one in my OP?

I don't think that most of these points are any cause for concern at all but as her mom you know her best.

Requesting an assessment won't hurt. Would it be worth seeing what her teachers think?

I would seek an assessment.

What’s happening for her migraines, are they being managed ok?

You can seek one, but beware wait lists are extremely long. ADHD is also one to consider.

My dd got a diagnosis at a similar age, she had some similar traits, and still does really. The one thing I did find though was that before diagnosis she was getting support for her anxiety, after diagnosis it was taken away as it was linked to the autism and camhs wouldn't help with that. Since then the only actual support we've been given is from her school.

My daughter is 7 and shares a lot of those traits. We are at the beginning of seeking an assessment but have been warned it will take years unless we go private.

It’s worth noting that if her anxiety stays or gets worse, CAMHS can and have to help. They have plenty of therapies that work alongside Autism.

DDs ASD/ADHD diagnosis was sped up because of CAMHS strong arming the Paediatrician into bumping her up the list due to her significant MH issues which they believed were due to that. When they’d been diagnosed, we went back to them and had therapy. She’s 10.

@girlmom21 I feel a bit lost with it as all these things are just DD's normal behaviour to me. I will have a word with the teacher when school goes back, but I'm fairly certain that at least half of this list is only seen at home, not school.

@Ikeameatballs, the migraines are are total PITA and very difficult to manage tbh. She saw a paed and a neurologist for a while but both have discharged her saying there is nothing more they can do. There is some hope she will outgrow them. The pattern of the migraines has changed over the last 18months, and thankfully they seem to have become less severe although perhaps more frequent. We have not worked out a single trigger but they do seem to happen more often if she is anxious or has been emotional.

I would. The waiting lists are crazy long at the moment so if you ask and get accepted for a referral now it might be a couple of years before she is assessed. By the time the appointment comes around you can decide if it’s still an issue (and discuss it with her) and if not, always release it for another child. But if there are ongoing needs, then you’re already on the pathway.

My DS is 7 with a diagnosis of Aspergers and I can see quite a bit of crossover there. If she were my child I would be seeking assessment because you never know when you might need a diagnosis and the process is long. So it’s often worth knowing what you’re dealing with in order to provide the best support. The specialists will decide whether there is a diagnosis to be had, but it mostly centres on how any traits interfere with daily life and ‘functioning’

I would. She sounds very like my daughter in many ways bar being good at art and migraines . My dd is more academic. My dd has just been diagnosed at 16. She is struggling with Anorexia. We have always had the rages re chewing/ noises at the table and she doesn’t seem to feel hunger atm. The sensory issues is proving to be a nightmare re restoring weight.

I wish I’d known she was autistic earlier as may have been able to head off the Anorexia.

Autism can vary hugely from child to child so don’t panic re Anorexia.

Thanks everyone.

Any advice on getting a private assessment? I am not prepared to wait years!

My DD was diagnosed at 10. It took over 2 years from referral to diagnosis (we live in W Yorkshire) and I think with that list it is worth starting the process. For me, it started with a call to GP who started the process. 1st appointment was about 2 months later but after that the appointments were annual.

In terms of where to go it may depend on your area. I did gp first but got quickly bounced back by camhs. Then via school had to do 10bweek parenting course first before referral for assessment. So basically be prepared for a bit of a road and a waiting list (we were about 2yrs to diagnosis). Possible to go private but check your LA will accept the outcome if you that way.

My dd is also 10 and has some but not all if what you describe above. Diagnosis has been really valuable for her to understand herself and our main aim was to get support in place ahead of challenges of transition to secondary and puberty!

It could be sensory issues rather than asd, but that's what the assessment is for. It really depends how much her life is impacted by her issues tbh. School can support if you have mitigations at home that work- she doesn't need a diagnosis for them to support. Have you approached the SENCO?

Sometimes a private diagnosis isn’t recognised so be careful where you get it done.

I was part of a diagnostic team before retiring. Yes get a referral. Write everything down.

Girls can mask for years. My dd did. I just thought it was sensory issues, big mistake. The DISCO assessment is better for girls.

Sounds like a sensory processing issue. autismawarenesscentre.com/does-my-child-have-sensory-processing-disorder/
BTW, I too have misphonia www.misophonia-uk.org/. I used to hate meal times as a child in a big family, but it was worse in a smaller family as there wasn't enough other noise to mask the sound of people eating. I used to cause a fuss so my mum would make me eat on my own in the kitchen as punishment - but it was heaven for me!
Let her eat away from others, you can’t be trained out if this!

My Dd was diagnosed 2 years ago when she was 10.
In hindsight we left it too long to get her referred as we were ' waiting to see how things went' it got to the point where she was in crisis having violent meltdowns and school refusing.
We went private and she was diagnosed at The Lorna Wing Centre. It was expensive but some of the best money we've spent.
Since then she now has a ehcp and is being supported at school. We also understand her better and are able to meet her needs which we were not doing before. She is much happier and calmer.

I've got a severely autistic son and I'm just starting the assessment process with his younger sister x she is very high functioning but obviously struggles with somethings so I want to know what's going on (I've seen older girls crumbling once they get to high school who are on the spectrum and I don't want that for my girl ).

Gosh it sounds like I have a lot to learn already. What is a DISCO assessment please @Chance5Are?

I am worried about the transition to secondary next year, particularly with the anxiety and poor time management. She is currently in a very small, nurturing primary. I suppose it is a fear all parents have about secondary, but I honestly don't see how she could cope with getting herself to the right place at the right time.

I haven't approached the SENCO @CovidPassQuestion, maybe I should. I think I would feel a bit silly though, as she is coping OK at her current primary despite these slightly quirky traits. I couldn't honestly say she needs specialist support at school now.

How do I find out whether a private assessment is acceptable?