We're taking afternoon tea at your place. I shall have...

[WildRosie]

• Darjeeling or good quality regular tea. Milk, no sugar.

• Cucumber and egg mayonnaise finger sandwiches.

• A plain scone with clotted cream and strawberry jam.

What will the rest of you have ?

Coffee not tea, gravadlax and cream cheese on rye, carrot and chili hummous on wholemeal, prosciutto, fig & rocket on sourdough, very tart lemon drizzle loaf, scone & clotted cream with bramble jam. So hungry now dangit OP.

Victoria sponge. Some cheese scones with cream cheese in.

Who would like their tea in one of my charity shop old bone china teacups? W

Oh yes please I’ll have a glass of champagne, thank you.

Strong tea - English Breakfast loose leaf would be good. Bone China cup, please, and none of this stewing the life out of the tea; I like strong and fresh, not stewed. Will make an exception for Earl/Lady Grey with lemon at a pinch. If you have neither of these, don't bother with tea, I'll have some ginger tea made with fresh root ginger.

If you've got GF bread, prawn & rocket and egg & cress sandwiches. No butter, though - cows' milk isn't good for me.

Add in some strawberries, peaches, Greengages and you won't be half as hungry as I was at the work catering table today where every single food item consisted of pasta, bread, breadcrumbs or other wheat based products or had dairy. Even the salad was scattered with croutons and the fruit salad splattered with cream as people shovelled food onto their plates like they'd never been fed before were less than careful about cross contamination.

No wonder I'm losing weight.

Yorkshire Gold loose leaf tea.

Chocolate cream eclairs. Strawberry tarts.

Mmmm!

Vat of Gin plus pack of salt and vinegar crisps, as per normal.

Ooh, champagne, yes please!

I’ve just spent £50 in various charity shops for tea sets for my 6 and 3 year old DC to play tea parties with (for the eldests birthday at the end of the month really).

I can supply the China

Wow I thought this was going to be a thread about a demanding MIL who announced she was coming to tea at your house and told you what to serve!

Coffee for me but it has to be decaf as I can’t tolerate any caffeine anymore 😭.
A selection of egg mayo, prawns with Marie sauce not mayo and chicken with stuffing sandwiches.
Freshly made soup.
Mini carrot cake and a chocolate mousse.
Scone with black currant jam and clotted cream, no butter thanks 😊 .

Weak Earl grey tea, in a China teapot, served in a thin China cup.

Sandwiches of Thinly white sliced bread with peeled thinly sliced cucumber and fresh butter.

Cheese scone with chives and mature cheddar and chutney on the side.

Followed by a lemon tart with clotted cream.

I'm really wanting an afternoon tea now.

Peppermint tea
Roast beef and horseradish sandwich
Fruit scone with raspberry jam and clotted cream
And a cheeky chocolate brownie

Redbush tea (im caffeine intolerant) scones of course, some miniature cakes (patisserie Valerie do a great afternoon tea selection) mini quiche and got to be both salmon sandwiches and cucumber sandwiches

@ElspethFlashman

How do people not know about Jambons??!

I did not know about Jambons, but it looks delicious! Where can I buy one?

I live in Ireland, are they just an Irish thing??

They're ham and cheese melty pastry and amazing.

Surely this Greggs you lot always talk about must have them?

A good quality black coffee (I can’t do tea)
A selection of sandwiches
Some savouries such as a mini home made quiche or sausage rolls
Scones with cream and jam
Some cakes to include something with chocolate
Several glasses of a good champagne
A presentation box to take home left overs

@Guineapigbridge

Pringles

Someone is trying to sully our nice Tea.

I'll have thin wholemeal smoked salmon sandwiches, white egg mayonnaise sandwiches, Victoria sponge cake and all butter shortbread. Lots of tea, Earl Grey.

Glass of white wine please!

@ElspethFlashman

I live in Ireland, are they just an Irish thing??

They're ham and cheese melty pastry and amazing.

Surely this Greggs you lot always talk about must have them?

Nope, they're an Irish thing. I missed them so much when I was in the UK.

@ElspethFlashman they look flipping delicious. It is now my mission in life to track them down and try one.

I'll have strong tea and proper eclairs from a french patisserie please.

Strong Yorkshire tea and 2 or even 3 of my Mil's perfect, amazing little cheese scones with cold unsalted butter. Thank you.

DH had afternoon tea at the Ivy in London. Now that's what I call afternoon tea.
The menu --
SAVOURY
Truffled chicken brioche roll
Marinated cucumber and dill finger sandwich on basil bread
Smoked salmon on beetroot bread with cream cheese and chives
SWEET
Lemon & raspberry doughnut with pink lemonade
Vanilla meringue butterfly
Chocolate caramel flower pot
Pistachio nasturtium crème brûlée
Includes a choice of teas, infusions or coffees.
Yours for £25, or £34 to include a glass of champagne.

English breakfast tea in a nice pot with a cup and saucer.

Lots of different fiddly sandwichy things made by an army of slaves out the back somewhere - an asparagus roll, an egg mayo finger, a smoked salmon whirl, a blini with caviare, a tiny bun with whipped marmite butter in it, something cheesy but I can't think what. Etc etc.

A whole plateful of dainty mini Jambons (now I know what they are).

My home made scones with clotted cream from Mrs Jones' house Guernsey cow made in her filthy kitchen on her deathtrap paraffin stove (north Devon, 1965, would be burned to the ground by environmental control now, I can still remember the taste, the texture...) and my home made jam.

A nice glass of real champagne.

Bliss.

Bridge rolls or mini bagels with smoked salmon and cream cheese, egg Mayo, tuna and if grandma is coming then some herring. A bowl of new green and a plate of danish, some rogelah and maybe some apple cake with whipped cream.