Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

All girls/boys schools- did you go to one and would you want your kids to?

113 replies

lking679 · 31/08/2021 21:47

Just thinking about this, I went to an all girls high school and to be honest at university and beyond was really immature around and about boys. I only have sisters too.
Did you find the same and would you want your kids to go to an all girls or all boys school? I don’t think I want mine to!

OP posts:
riotlady · 01/09/2021 08:17

I went to an all girls sixth form and loved it. Found it really liberating to not have to worry about being made fun of for having a sliver of bra strap showing or all the sexual jokes from the boys. We would wear pyjamas during exam time and shout across the room for a tampon if we needed one. All of the leaders were girls wnd everyone in science, maths, economics was a girl. I also found that there was a lot less low level disruption during lessons and it was much easier to learn.

Gremlinsateit · 01/09/2021 08:20

Yes and yes. I spent a few months at a co-ed school and was much happier at my state girls’ high school, which also no longer exists. DS and DD both go to single sex schools.

Travielkapelka · 01/09/2021 08:20

*Mine are at mixed and can’t believe some of the stereotypes on here. Numbers doing maths and science are equal, in fact there are slightly more girls doing further maths than boys I think. Equally it’s very common for boys to do Art, music and french or other humanities combinations . My dc have completely mixed friendship groups and generally I am in awe of how supportive they are of their friends of both sexes .

Dc1 had an awful experience in a flat with girls from single sex schools at university. Appalling objectifying of boys, talking about them as if they weren’t there, ranking them in public and terrible bitchiness . Really opened my eyes , not healthy at all*

@Peaseblossum22 I totally agree. The concept that girls are somewhat lesser beings in school is not my lived experience. My sons female friends are off to study medicine, vet, bio med, maths, bio chem, chemistry. All sorts. His male friends are all on the history politics English route!!!

They have really solid equal friendships with the opposite sex and I have absolutely no doubt that it has broken up some of the intensity of girl friendships especially for my DD

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General education
LimeRedBanana · 01/09/2021 08:24

I loved my all girls’ school. I wasn’t especially academic, but we could just be ourselves.

When I was 11/12 at a co-ed school (NZ - intermediate school - anyone from NZ will recognise what a culture shock intermediate school was) - I was being harassed by boys the same age. No thanks.

DD is locked and loaded to go to an all girls’ school from next year, year 7.

I am totally hypocritical because while I think single sex is so much better for girls, I strongly believe that boys benefit from having girls around, and an all boys’ environment isn’t beneficial for them.

DS goes to a very traditional boys’ school that went co-ed two years ago, and I couldn’t be more pleased.

Bryonyshcmyony · 01/09/2021 08:24

I've never seen any of these girls being silly around boys after leaving a single sex school. Some girls are ridiculous around boys in mixed schools.
My experience is single sex schools are far better for girls but less so for boys. All dds peers do well at uni and those who want boyfriends have them.

MrsMoastyToasty · 01/09/2021 08:25

I went to an all girls school (private/boarding) and came from an all girl family. Males were a foreign species. Our school would hold "socials" with local all boys private schools. They were like cattle markets.
If I hadn't passed the entrance exam I would have gone to the local state school which was also all girls. My DH went to the corresponding all boys state school in our area.

Peaseblossum22 · 01/09/2021 08:52

and those who want boyfriends have them

This is precisely what worries me, its not about having boyfriends its just about being friends in a normal way. My dc have close friends of both sexes, they are as likely to go out to the cinema or for a drink with a girl as a boy. Relationships between the sexes do not need to be and certainly should not be seen as only existing in the context of romantic relationships,

Bryonyshcmyony · 01/09/2021 08:58

@Peaseblossum22

and those who want boyfriends have them

This is precisely what worries me, its not about having boyfriends its just about being friends in a normal way. My dc have close friends of both sexes, they are as likely to go out to the cinema or for a drink with a girl as a boy. Relationships between the sexes do not need to be and certainly should not be seen as only existing in the context of romantic relationships,

They have male friends @Peaseblossum22

The biggest stereotype is that women and girls fall to pieces and can't make meaningful friendships with men and boys if they aren't at school with them for a few years.

furbabymama87 · 01/09/2021 09:00

Yes I did. It hasn't had any long term effects on me but I was boy mad at the time, as were some of my friends, probably because I didn't really know any or spend any time with them regularly.

GivenchyDahhling · 01/09/2021 09:00

Yes and yes. I went to a grammar, and I live in a (different) area which still has grammar which I’d like DS to go to - not for another ten years though. The first school I taught in for several years was also single sex, but faith rather than grammar. I’m a big proponent of them, I think they work well and the kids see plenty of the other sex from the “paired” school.

Comedycook · 01/09/2021 09:02

I went to a girls school from 4-18. I want my dd to go to a girls school for secondary. I'm very pro single sex education. I'm surprised how many parents are against it. Any parent I've spoken to about it has turned their nose up at it and told me how bitchy girls are. A horrible nasty stereotype. Actually I think a girls school will give my dd more opportunities to make friends and in my ds mixed secondary, vast majority of disruptive behaviour is from the boys.

MeadowHay · 01/09/2021 09:04

I went to an all girls school for high school and hated it. I always had male friends outside of school though so I never had any issue with being particularly 'immature' around boys or anything. I was bullied throughout my time at high school. I moved to a mixed school for sixth form and loved it there and made some good friends who a decade later I'm still good friends with. My younger sister also went to the same school as me and was also bullied and also hated it! DH went to an all-boys high school though which only became mixed in the sixth form and he had a reasonably good time, no issues with bullying and though he didn't love school he also didn't hate it. He does say he thinks he was anxious and unsure about how to 'behave' around girls as he wasnt around them often but we met whilst we were in sixth-form and I never found his behaviour a problem needless to say Grin he was fairly quiet but also fairly confident as a teen. I did very well at my GCSEs despite my unhappy time at school, DH did pretty well (above average) but then I'm sure he would have performed better if he had not been a young carer and had a bereavement around the same time, my sister performed averagely.

whenwillthemadnessend · 01/09/2021 09:04

Nice to see a single sex debate that's not all one sided for a change on Mumsnet

Mine go to mixed. My son is extremely settled and has a mixed friendship group.

Dd had more issues at mixed but I have no comparison maybe she would be worse at single.

However they both do relate to the opposite sex well

My sisters dd from single sex is boy mad and spends every weekend trying to hook up with a boy and getting a boyfriend.
My sis sent her there to get her away from boys but it's made it worse IMO. And she puts up with a lot more shit from boys than my dd does. I hope she matures out of it as she could make some bad choices

Like any other poster said school should
Prepare them For life and any good single sex should be making sure ALL kids get to have socials and clubs with the opposite sex.

Secretroses · 01/09/2021 09:13

I went to an all girls school and loved it. That said, I would want single sex education for my own girls but would prefer mixed for boys.

Bryonyshcmyony · 01/09/2021 09:14

The only disadvantage we have found is that my dds weren't used to sexism. They genuinely thought they'd be equal to men in the workplace as that is what the single sex environment taught them. They had a sad awakening once at work.

Comedycook · 01/09/2021 09:16

@Secretroses

I went to an all girls school and loved it. That said, I would want single sex education for my own girls but would prefer mixed for boys.
Yes same. My ds goes to a mixed school and hopefully my dd will be going to a girls school. Even my ds says she will not cope in a mixed sex school. She is very sensitive and not at all streetwise, my ds told me the boys are loud and boisterous and she'd hate it.

I loved my girls school...it wasn't bitchy. I still keep in contact with loads of the girls and some are my best friends for life

SirSamuelVimes · 01/09/2021 09:24

I went to a mixed school but taught for a few years at a girls' school. I would send my girls to a single sex school in a heartbeat. Not an option where I live now unfortunately, unless I suddenly become very rich and can put two of them through private secondary. Primary I think mixed is good though.

Having read the Ofsted report into sexual harassment in schools has made me even more in favour of single sex schools. What girls are subjected to in schools is disgusting.

Bryonyshcmyony · 01/09/2021 09:31

My dds left their all girls school with the crazy notion that boys were people too, there were lots of different types, some were nice some not so nice. They learnt this by dealing with the nice and not so nice girls at their school. They didn't feel that they needed special school time with boys to learn how to treat them.

Comedycook · 01/09/2021 09:34

@SirSamuelVimes

I went to a mixed school but taught for a few years at a girls' school. I would send my girls to a single sex school in a heartbeat. Not an option where I live now unfortunately, unless I suddenly become very rich and can put two of them through private secondary. Primary I think mixed is good though.

Having read the Ofsted report into sexual harassment in schools has made me even more in favour of single sex schools. What girls are subjected to in schools is disgusting.

Yes and I'm surprised that irl, the mums of girls aren't more conscious of this. My Ds was very shocked when he started at secondary at what some of the boys say to girls. Boys are watching pornography from such young ages. It's terrifying. Yet all the mums of girls I know bleat on about how bitchy girls are. Well, even if they are bitchy, that's preferable to me than sexual harassment
Bryonyshcmyony · 01/09/2021 09:35

Some girls are bitchy but they aren't hens, who need a rooster to keep them in line

Expo · 01/09/2021 09:44

I was scared about the bitchy stereotype. Couldn’t be further from the truth with my DD single sex school. That’s such a terrible stereotype for girls and women to have spread around.

I am so surprised too that mums of girls are not aware of the latest Ofsted report. It is indeed disgusting what our teenage girls are being subjected too.

Comedycook · 01/09/2021 09:49

I am so surprised too that mums of girls are not aware of the latest Ofsted report. It is indeed disgusting what our teenage girls are being subjected too

I can only assume they are basing their opinions on their own school life...the world is sadly very different now. My Ds has heard some of the most awful things said to girls in school...he's been so shocked. I don't want my dd subjected to that

Peaseblossum22 · 01/09/2021 09:52

I think what this thread shows is that you really can’t generalise about either children or schools. Also many people don’t have the choice of where to send their children. Tbh there are no single sex schools, state or independent, within a 30mile radius of here. And even the ones 30 miles away are super selective grammars

LimeRedBanana · 01/09/2021 09:52

I’d far rather deal with the female stereotype (bitchy) than the male stereotype (sexually aggressive and annoying).

Note - for the hard of thinking in the back row - I don’t think most men or women succumb to either stereotype.

badlydrawnbear · 01/09/2021 09:57

I went to a girls’ school, rarely spoke to boys though there was a boys’ school very close to it. Then I went to university to do a course that was almost all female and have had very few male colleagues ever. I can’t say whether a mixed school would have been better or not though. It’s hard to say.
DD1 is about to start year 6 so I am looking into secondary schools for her. She is adamant that she doesn’t want to go to a girls’ school, because she doesn’t get on with the girls in her year and her friends are all boys. I want her to be happy, but, unfortunately, most of the options here seem to be single-sex.