All girls/boys schools- did you go to one and would you want your kids to?

[lking679]

Just thinking about this, I went to an all girls high school and to be honest at university and beyond was really immature around and about boys. I only have sisters too.
Did you find the same and would you want your kids to go to an all girls or all boys school? I don’t think I want mine to!

I did. DS does. He asked to go to a boy's school.

Thanks all!

Yes
No

I went to an all girls school. It was bitchy and cliquey so I would rather DD avoided that.
On the other hand, DD is very interested in maths and science and has already at primary school had instances of boys telling her she can’t be good at / do those subjects as she’s a girl. Now it helps that my first degree was in a science subject and my best friend for school is a bioscience professor (and was on TV recently as one of the developers of the COVID vaccine) so I have plenty of examples to counter this ‘girls can’t do science’ bullshit. Ultimately if I thought she’d be happier at an all girls school and have better opportunities to do science and maths I would want her to go.
I’d try and make sure she did plenty of co-Ed activities outside of school though, to make sure she still has friends of both genders.

I went to an all girls school but left for a mixed sixth form. I grew up not having a clue about boys and it took years to be comfortable with men as an adult. I will NEVER send my DDs to a single sex school (unless they choose it for sixth form). In fact, I told DH before we had kids that it is one of the few parenting decisions I would never compromise on. I deliberately moved to an area with hardly any single sex secondary schools. I think I would have liked grammar for my DC and at least one of them I think would have got in but I am not willing to take the risk that they end up in a single sex environment.

I went to a girls school. It also happened to be an RC school, though you didn't ask about that.

I don't have kids though.

Having turned my back on religion I wouldn't send my (imaginary) children to a faith school and think religion should stay out of school, bar basic information about various religions.

As for single sex schools, I'm on the fence but veering slightly towards mixed. I do think girls in particular probably do better in single sex schools, especially in STEM subjects. However, despite having brothers, i came out seeing boys as aliens and not being comfortable around them and it took me years. I think in this way my education failed me. School should be for life imo.

In my school they taught "girls" subjects like cookery and needlework but not metalwork and woodwork. They weren't an option. Our school had a 'sister' RC boys school round the corner which we shared events with e.g. discos but other subjects weren't an option, but this was in the 70s/80s so I'm sure would be illegal now.

I grew up and still live in London but a different borough. The borough I grew up in had single school boys and girls schools, though the majority were mixed. The borough I live in has a girls school but no boys school, and I'm sure the same can be said of the borough I work in. In fact that has an RC girls school and a non religious girls school.

I went to a mixed school and I had loads of boy mates who were great fun. Also lots of boyfriends. We were a great big gang of boys and girls and I loved it. I would choose the same for my kids if it existed in our area. It doesn't, sadly.

I went to both (moved schools).

I would always choose an all girls school. The academics were better and just generally girls were not sidelined. This was physically clear in the grounds, where girls took up all the space.

Girls were the sporty ones, girls were top in maths and science -- girls had space to be much better rounded children, in my experience.

And not to be sniffed at, no sexual assault or rape. Nobody pinged my bra or cat -called me, not once! Not that girls are perfect, of course there was cruelty and bullying and so on, but there was a whole vector of threat that was just absent.

I went to a girls’ school from 7-18, and had no brothers or boy cousins my own age. Basically boys were a strange alien concept to me growing up, and I don’t think it did me much good. I definitely wouldn’t choose a single-sex school for my dc.

Given the recent report on what girls get subjected to at adolescence at school from boys then I am 110% happy my DD goes to a girls school and so is she. All this crap about ‘not being able to interact with boys’ - they have the rest of their lives for that. I went to a girls school too.

I was at an all-girls Catholic school.

The good thing was that I never had the sense that any subject was 'for boys' - girls were doing science and woodwork and everything else.

But there was awful bullying and competitiveness and the messages we received about relationships were a bit odd. Lots of immaturity around the opposite sex - if a boy or young man was in the school grounds for some reason, crowds of younger girls would follow him around cheering and screaming as if he were a pop star. I remember asking someone why she did it. 'It's exciting.'

On balance I wouldn't want a daughter of mine to go to a school like that. I wonder if single sex without the religious aspect would be different, but they seem to go together in my area!

My children went to single sex schools and I'm very glad they did. Neither of them were immature around the opposite sex and both had girlfriends and boyfriends in their teens. Both were excellent schools.

I'd like to think that bra pinging etc is stamped out and would be dealt with.

That’s the point. It hasn’t and if the recent report out is to be believed then it is getting worse not better.

I went to mixed, I developed early and really hated the constant bra-strap pinging, comments about jiggly boobs in PE, and being shouted over in lessons. 99% of disruption in lessons was from boys and I feel I would have learned so much better without their nonsense.
We live near an excellent girls school and I really hope I'm able to get my daughter in there.

@Blessex

I'd like to think that bra pinging etc is stamped out and would be dealt with.

That’s the point. It hasn’t and if the recent report out is to be believed then it is getting worse not better.

Dd2 went to a mixed secondary for two years and although there were lots of nice boys there, there were enough bra pingers and attention seekers to make life difficult in a way thst it doesn't have to be at 12. She went to a single sex (not rc) school at year 9 and loves it.

I did and I had boys who were friends through an extra curricular activity I did and spent a lot of time on outside school, there was a good social scene attached to it.

But I saw quite a few of my school friends struggle with male friendships etc at uni because they’d never experienced being friends with boys.

I think some girls schools are closely aligned with a boys school which can be good - mine used to be and there used to be joint discos, joint school plays and joint music tours etc. But a couple of years before I went the other school became co-Ed so that all stopped.

But no I wouldn’t go out of the way to choose single sex for my kids if there is co-Ed available

Ah a few on here saying girls in all girls and boys in mixed. That’s where I am. Girls need the space to excel especially in STEM.

I went to an all girls RC school run by the Sisters of Mercy. I wouldn't send a rat there let alone a child.

Would I send a child to a single sex school? It depends on the school and the child.

My brother's RC boys' school was at the other side of the town.

One of my cousins went to a girls' school with a boys' school next door, the two school did a lot of things together eg exchange trips, days out and some after school activities.

To me this is the best of both worlds.

One of my PGCE placements was in a mixed school but they were trialing single sex classes for some subjects.

In my school they taught "girls" subjects like cookery and needlework but not metalwork and woodwork. They weren't an option

Yep, I learned how to starch a shirt, hand wash clothes, cookery (variations of mince for lots of it) needlework we also had 'hymns' as a subject.

I like to cook now but school cooking put me off for a long time and

I started at a state all girls school but went into co-ed when we moved house in yr 9. Personally I preferred the mixed and hadn’t realised how bitchy the girls school was until I left.

Mine are at mixed and can’t believe some of the stereotypes on here. Numbers doing maths and science are equal, in fact there are slightly more girls doing further maths than boys I think. Equally it’s very common for boys to do Art, music and french or other humanities combinations . My dc have completely mixed friendship groups and generally I am in awe of how supportive they are of their friends of both sexes .

Dc1 had an awful experience in a flat with girls from single sex schools at university. Appalling objectifying of boys, talking about them as if they weren’t there, ranking them in public and terrible bitchiness . Really opened my eyes , not healthy at all.

@Peaseblossum22

Mine are at mixed and can’t believe some of the stereotypes on here. Numbers doing maths and science are equal, in fact there are slightly more girls doing further maths than boys I think. Equally it’s very common for boys to do Art, music and french or other humanities combinations . My dc have completely mixed friendship groups and generally I am in awe of how supportive they are of their friends of both sexes .

Dc1 had an awful experience in a flat with girls from single sex schools at university. Appalling objectifying of boys, talking about them as if they weren’t there, ranking them in public and terrible bitchiness . Really opened my eyes , not healthy at all.

That's great but research doesn't back up what you say.

I went to a girls school. Generally I liked it but it was very bitchy. I had two brothers so I had plenty of exposure to boys but some of my friends were very silly and immature around men at university.

DS is going to a lovely school but it’s boys only. I would have preferred mixed but we are limited by the options locally (not in the UK). By secondary we will be in the UK and I’m hoping he can go to a (private) mixed school.

When I was a teenager, private mixed schools weren’t that common, and the grammar schools were single sex too. It seems more common now.

I also think going to school in the 80s/90s/ early 2000s isn’t comparable to today due to technology- the porn aspect with boys on phones is deeply worrying!

I went to an all girls school (although mixed lessons with the boys school students in sixth form). Loved it!