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Original poster

When do you let children decide whats on?

33 replies

LetgoOrnot · 29/08/2021 18:02

By the above I mean use the remote themselves.

My DD is 7, can’t read and mixes numbers up. So I’ve always recorded programmes and then put them on for her. She chooses what it is by telling me and if there’s something she mentions her friends are watching I record that.

I let her have free control on Netflix as she has her own profile which is locked to childrens programmes but never with the actual TV.

So when do I start letting her channel surf and choose herself?

My big worry is that she’ll flick to the news and see something inappropriate or a bit scary, or she’ll get frustrated because she can’t find the programme she wants so I’ll spend more time looking for it than she will watching it. She literally mixes up numbers, so I can tell her she needs channel 609 (not real channel we watch just an example) and she’ll put on 153.

She still seems so small to me, and she still watches a lot of cbeebies (through choice, I record it and if she asks for it I put it on). She does also love Nick Junior.

So what age? My parents never let me choose what to watch until I was well into my teens, so I might be a bit scewed in my view. I thought once she caught recognise numbers at least, but Im not sure.

OP posts:
Camomila · 29/08/2021 18:09

Hmm interesting question actually, I let DS1 (5) scroll through kids netflix and kids BBC I player to find something and only occasionally say he can't watch stuff (eg, Dr Who). If it's too scary (eg, some PG movies) he'll pause it and ask me to fast forward it.

I think your parents were possibly too strict with you though. I was definitely allowed to choose tv shows/watch the news before my teens.

Original poster
LetgoOrnot · 29/08/2021 18:10

@Camomila

Hmm interesting question actually, I let DS1 (5) scroll through kids netflix and kids BBC I player to find something and only occasionally say he can't watch stuff (eg, Dr Who). If it's too scary (eg, some PG movies) he'll pause it and ask me to fast forward it.

I think your parents were possibly too strict with you though. I was definitely allowed to choose tv shows/watch the news before my teens.

We listen to the radio in the car and if the news comes on I don't turn it off as that's not as scary to me so she is hearing about the news, it's just I don't have it on when she's awake at home.
OP posts:
PeonyTime · 29/08/2021 18:10

My kids have been doing it since they were 4 and 6.
DH was away for 4 months, I was ill. Told them on Sat morning they needed to get their own breakfasts - I left out a breakfast bar, fruit and a carton of juice. They set themselves up with the TV, and I got a lie in until about 8. Then then asked for a repeat, so I invested in some better breakfasts I could leave out, and they've just continued. Couple of years later, and they do their own toast (cereal not liked here).

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Original poster
LetgoOrnot · 29/08/2021 18:49

@PeonyTime

My kids have been doing it since they were 4 and 6. DH was away for 4 months, I was ill. Told them on Sat morning they needed to get their own breakfasts - I left out a breakfast bar, fruit and a carton of juice. They set themselves up with the TV, and I got a lie in until about 8. Then then asked for a repeat, so I invested in some better breakfasts I could leave out, and they've just continued. Couple of years later, and they do their own toast (cereal not liked here).
She can turn the TV on and off, but she can't switch to the netflix channel or type in the number properly on the screen so she'd get the wrong channel.

She does pause the TV when she goes to the toilet and makes her own drinks. Pours her own cereal but I still do milk as she asks me to go it. I do leave her eating and go to the kitchen though.

I do feel guilty but not really sure how to solve it.

OP posts:
TeenMinusTests · 29/08/2021 18:56

Mine had control before 7.
But this is more an issue that your DC has some level of SEN so can't actually operate in a similar way, and I don't really know how you can resolve that.

Steelesauce · 29/08/2021 19:12

My 3year old chooses what she wants on Netflix etc. Using the remote or ipad. Shes my youngest one to manage it but the older 2 had less access to screens then she did from a young age. My eldest was around 5 and my middle was 4ish. The older 2 can get their own breakfasts at 9 and 5, they get the little one hers too if I'm in the shower or getting ready.

Steelesauce · 29/08/2021 19:13

We don't use normal TV though, only streaming.

purpleme12 · 29/08/2021 19:21

Mine is 7
She's been using it by herself for ages. Well over a year
But she doesn't mix numbers up. But she's fairly good with listening to me about what to watch/not to watch. Eg I don't let her watch every programme on CBBC and she knows that and she mostly says is this suitable. And she'll always stick with the younger children's channels eg cbeebies, tinypop.
And on Netflix, disneyplus she doesn't really have interest in the older ones' things and she'll watch the same things again and again.
But I've never recorded anything. If she starts watching television for example I'll know what she's watching so I'll know if it's suitable or not at the time it's put on, even if she's doing it

TheWordsmithsApprentice · 29/08/2021 20:29

Mine could manage from about 5. But we always left the tv on the only channel they were allowed to watch so it came on when they turned the tv on. They learnt how to access the recorded programs - that's when I discovered my unable to read 7 year old could actually read!
We only got Netflix recently along with a new tv which has remote with a Netflix button.

She literally mixes up numbers, so I can tell her she needs channel 609 (not real channel we watch just an example) and she’ll put on 153.
Is this from a verbal instruction? I know you said she can't read but I'm not sure if you mean she can't read whole words yet. If you wrote the numbers down, would she be able to copy them by looking at the shapes?

Original poster
LetgoOrnot · 29/08/2021 21:01

@TheWordsmithsApprentice

Mine could manage from about 5. But we always left the tv on the only channel they were allowed to watch so it came on when they turned the tv on. They learnt how to access the recorded programs - that's when I discovered my unable to read 7 year old could actually read! We only got Netflix recently along with a new tv which has remote with a Netflix button.

She literally mixes up numbers, so I can tell her she needs channel 609 (not real channel we watch just an example) and she’ll put on 153.
Is this from a verbal instruction? I know you said she can't read but I'm not sure if you mean she can't read whole words yet. If you wrote the numbers down, would she be able to copy them by looking at the shapes?

Can't read or recognise numbers in any context. Its been picked up by school not me, if I write down a number and ask her what number it is she just guesses and is usually wrong. Same with reading, you can write down a word and she guesses what it says. She's still on the bottom band of reading books.
OP posts:
DelurkingAJ · 29/08/2021 21:06

DS1 and DS2 are 8 and 5. They come down at the weekend and pick what they watch. Occasionally they negotiate. DS1 was probably about 6 when we let him do so. He has no interest in channel surfing.

GTAlogic · 29/08/2021 21:12

My 9 & 10 year olds channel surf and have done for years. We're currently watching ds 1's choice.

namechange7865 · 29/08/2021 21:17

Long before 7 but I understand your concerns with your daughter's additional needs, we've got voice controlled remote controls (Sky and fire sticks) is this something you could look into? I don't really worry about my children going onto something inappropriate, they know what they like and we have parental controls (plus I'm never far away!)

Original poster
LetgoOrnot · 29/08/2021 22:02

@namechange7865

Long before 7 but I understand your concerns with your daughter's additional needs, we've got voice controlled remote controls (Sky and fire sticks) is this something you could look into? I don't really worry about my children going onto something inappropriate, they know what they like and we have parental controls (plus I'm never far away!)
We have sky+ but not sky q something to do with the building we live in not picking up sky q.

We watch Netflix through the PS4 sometimes and I think you can buy a remote for that which is voice activated I’ll look into it thank you!

OP posts:
TheWordsmithsApprentice · 30/08/2021 10:46

if I write down a number and ask her what number it is she just guesses and is usually wrong

If you write a 5 and then underneath a 8359 can she circle the one that is the same without knowing it's a five?

(Probably you've tried this. DS didn't learn to read until he learnt some words. I printed some large print flash cards with the 100 most common words on, we looked at 5 cards, I read them every meal time for a week and then changed cards. Didn't ask him to read them back but gave him a chance to say the word before I said it. But he didn't understand the putting sounds together to make words until he knew some words and could see how to take the sounds apart).

Original poster
LetgoOrnot · 30/08/2021 11:09

@TheWordsmithsApprentice

if I write down a number and ask her what number it is she just guesses and is usually wrong

If you write a 5 and then underneath a 8359 can she circle the one that is the same without knowing it's a five?

(Probably you've tried this. DS didn't learn to read until he learnt some words. I printed some large print flash cards with the 100 most common words on, we looked at 5 cards, I read them every meal time for a week and then changed cards. Didn't ask him to read them back but gave him a chance to say the word before I said it. But he didn't understand the putting sounds together to make words until he knew some words and could see how to take the sounds apart).

School tried the number thing with DD and she'd get it wrong most of the time, they think the times she was right was a fluke rather than her recognising the letter IYSWIM. I will often ask her if she knows what numbers on a sign etc. and she mostly gets it wrong.

The flashcard thing is a good idea thank you for that.

We're waiting to speak to the eye consultant at hospital again as school think she needs glasses, but haven't been able to see her consultant at all for the last 2 years. So it might improve when we finally get in to see them (I am calling on a near weekly basis but being told that routine appointments aren't going ahead right now but we're still on the list to be seen)

OP posts:
NeedlegalhelpwithILS · 30/08/2021 11:13

Interesting because some of us grew up with 3-4 channels that were regulated. Can you set her a profile where she can only access her stuff?

PlanDeRaccordement · 30/08/2021 11:17

Why does she need an eye consultant in a hospital for an eye test? Surely you can get that from an optometrist on the high street?

bamboocat · 30/08/2021 11:25

Does she recognise shapes like square, circle etc if you ask her, or pictures of animals?

Perhaps she doesn't yet comprehend that letters and numbers mean the same thing each time. If she can recognise other things if she sees a picture, then explain to her that this shape here has a name, and it always has the same name. This shape is called a 'One'. And so on.

dodobookends · 30/08/2021 11:26

Play Dominoes with her.

Kinsters · 30/08/2021 11:43

I'd say it's about being able to navigate to the channels she wants to watch, if she can't do that then there's not much point letting her flick through as she won't get anything from it except frustration. If what you are doing is working for you then I'd keep things as they are. Personally I don't remember flicking through channels until I was a pre-teen/teenager as until then there wasn't really any need to as I just watched videos or CBBC/CITV.

Definitely get her eyes tested at an opticians. It would be terrible if her difficulties stemmed from just not being able to see properly.

Brighterblighter · 30/08/2021 11:46

Sorry for the the side track op but what else are you doing to support her learning? Has she got any other obvious needs?

Brighterblighter · 30/08/2021 11:48

There is are normal vision eye tests and also more in depth behavioural optometrist tests which cost ££ and look at the sight in a different way.

BananaSnowman · 30/08/2021 11:59

If your DD is 7 and doesn't recognise numbers or letters then that's something I'd be really focussing on getting a diagnosis for if you haven't already. I imagine you'll need to really push and, if it's at all possible, pay for private care.

Re your actual question I think your DD's situation is probably quite unique so other people saying their kid did this or that at 6 years old or whatever won't necessarily be helpful. Does your DD have other difficulties or needs that need to be considered, for example.

TheWordsmithsApprentice · 30/08/2021 12:22

Definitely get her eyes tested at an opticians. It would be terrible if her difficulties stemmed from just not being able to see properly.

Agree with this. If you've a printer, try printing out large letters and numbers, one digit on A5. I've a work colleague whose daughter was about the same age when they picked up she couldn't read because of vision problems. Her DD hadn't said anything because it was all she had known and thought everyone saw like she did!