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Original poster

Weddings as a plus 1 are awkward as fuck aren’t they

53 replies

Depolo · 29/08/2021 09:43

You don’t know anyone except the actual invited guest

The whole “come and get in the photo” thing - like the bride and groom really don’t want some random in their photos for the rest of their lives

Small talk around the table

You don’t get any of the in jokes in the speeches

Feeling like a free loader all day

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Original poster
Depolo · 29/08/2021 09:44

If you hadn’t guessed I’m going as a plus one today

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AnyFucker · 29/08/2021 09:45

Yeah, they are crap. I usually make my excuses if I possibly can.

MusicTeacherSussex · 29/08/2021 09:46

It is weird and uncomfortable isn't it

We aren't giving single friends a plus one as we are having a smallish wedding and any single pringles know loads of people going.

Odd way to act, as if everyone needs an escort.

dudsville · 29/08/2021 09:46

I barely want to go to a wedding or people I love, let alone just know well. What in earth possessed you to accept this invite? A cute date perhaps?

Original poster
Depolo · 29/08/2021 09:49

Urgh NO, I was hoping you’d all encourage me to get drunk and talk to people

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FizzyPink · 29/08/2021 09:50

I definitely won’t be giving out plus ones to people whose partners we don’t know. That’s a lot of money to spend on a random person!

Original poster
Depolo · 29/08/2021 09:52

My boyfriend is the invited guest. I’ve never met this friend - think they gave him a plus 1 as he’s an unsociable sod likely to slip out of the door when nobody’s looking. Probably thought he would stay if he had his partner with him

I need tips to avoid the photos

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MusicTeacherSussex · 29/08/2021 09:52

I'm a bit pale at the thought of the price per head for the people we DO know- let alone a stranger! And we are going to somewhere really reasonable. If it's a huge wedding with premium caterers imagine that 😬

Original poster
Depolo · 29/08/2021 09:53

I asked how much it was per head, BF didn’t know.

I’ve taken a punt and just paid it back in the vouchers they asked for

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Toomuchis · 29/08/2021 09:55

Just make yourself scarce for the photos - nobody will mind.

And have a few drinks and play "who do you know and how" with the guests. It's a great ice breaker and you never know who you'll find - I've got a couple of good work network people I met at weddings, and a few others that I saw at every wedding from that friendship group for the next five years (so being a Mardy arse would have been a long term lose).

Have fun! (And many more prosecco)

MusicTeacherSussex · 29/08/2021 09:55

If it's a serious relationship with your BF and he is close to the wedding couple, then I'd say it's a great opportunity to meet and get to know them and they will be wanting to get to know you.

If it's a newish relationship or not even official, or if he is a peripheral guest or distant relative, I'd say yeah it's awkward.

Howareyouflower · 29/08/2021 10:19

Years ago I went as a plus one with a man I met through OLD. His two workmates were fathers of the bride and groom. I'd only recently split up with my husband, and not everyone knew.
Imagine my horror when I turned up and the bride's parents turned out to be friends of mine, who I'd last seen just before the split....

MordenLarch · 29/08/2021 10:29

I love it! All the wedding and none of the responsibility. Just get plastered and make a show of yourself on the dance floor. You’ll have a good time and give the bride and groom something to remember

TakeYourFinalPosition · 29/08/2021 10:32

Photos are easy enough, disappear off to the bar/somewhere else while they’re doing wider shots. Some of my actual guests did that and nobody goes looking for them, so they’re missing from the group shots Grin

Otherwise, it’s either go with realistic expectations and chat to BF/ enjoy the Prosecco, or go with the intention to chat to people and have fun, and you probably will. If not, it’s always good practice for awkward work situations etc!

I hope you have a good day.

JacquelineCarlyle · 29/08/2021 10:32

I'd use it to meet his friends, get drunk and have a fab time! Enjoy!

CrotchetyQuaver · 29/08/2021 10:34

Urgh good luck with it. I did that once and once only as the best mans +1. We were exes but on good terms and both single and his brother was marrying a girl fairly local to me. God it was awful and being sat on the top table made me very self conscious. Made me realise what a shit the ex really was, but I met a couple of people that days who became good friends so it wasn't all bad! Try to enjoy your day!

Dogoodfeelgood · 29/08/2021 10:39

Lovely excuse to get dressed up and hopefully have a dance with your partner. I always tear up at wedding ceremonies even if I don’t know the couple. It’s a great opportunity to get to know more of DPs friends and weddings usually have a few people who don’t know others, so you can form a group and have fun together!

Nannyjoogle · 29/08/2021 10:50

Go, be bold, make it a game, make a connection with each and every person, laugh a lot, even when there is nothing to laugh about. Drink just enough ( but not to much ).

Imagine there is a camera following you around so keep shining and have fun

You will have a great time.

Wear shoes you can walk in and hit the dance floor.

If you hear your partner ask where you are you win the game 🤣

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 29/08/2021 10:54

I've had some great weddings as a plus one. i think you've got to go with the right frame of mind though. I will also talk to anybody.

TeaandHobnobs · 29/08/2021 11:02

I can see how, if you are a chatty social type who has fun meeting new people, it can be fun.
But I am
Absolutely NOT that person, and it would be my idea of hell. I don’t enjoy drinking and I don’t enjoy meeting new people, I am such an introvert.
DH went to a friend’s wedding yesterday, and I refused to go, as I wouldn’t have known anyone except DH and the groom.

NoToast · 29/08/2021 11:15

I feel for you OP, I'm a single that has never got a plus one. I've moved around a lot so many of the weddings and parties I've been to I pretty much only know the bride/birthday girl.

I've had some really shit times just sat in the toilet with my phone. At one wedding a guy came on to me at the table and was stroking my arm in front of his wife, that was awkward.

It seems unfair that couples will invite partners they've never met but will then leave singles on their own.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 29/08/2021 11:24

Flashback to when I went to a wedding with now DH (then fiance) and he was a Groomsman. I had to go to all the prewedding stuff the day before as well. (It was an Army friend, so I had only met the groom a few times). The morning of the wedding was spent in the hotel bar with the husband of a bridesmaid. Luckily a nice chap.

After the ceremony and photographs I at least got to spend time with DH.

Nannyjoogle · 29/08/2021 11:25

Actually forget the camera bit… not sure why I said that.

I guess it means a lot to your partner so go with the flow.

Original poster
Depolo · 29/08/2021 11:27

Makeup done. Doing hair. Prosecco is open

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Original poster
Depolo · 29/08/2021 11:27

Might just live blog throughout and pretend you lot are with me

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