Spa Horror Stories

[Lolarosemama]

I don’t really have a horror story from a spa 😅 but I was at one this week and thought some people must have some embarrassing or ridiculous stories from spas!! This bored sleepless mama wants your stories!

Like I said I don’t have a horror story, but I once got given a voucher for a second facial as the beautician talked non stop the whole way through and massaged soap into my mouth 🤢

I mean not a horror story but I went to a steam room that was so ridiculously steamy I couldn’t see and lost all my senses, so much so I dribbled!! I left shortly after. It sounds silly but there’s no exaggeration when I say it was the steamiest I’ve ever seen

I once fainted whilst having a massage in a spa! It was really hot and steamy in the room and whilst she was doing the facial bit I started getting that cold, sweaty feeling like your going to puke so I sat up and said "sorry I feeel".... then came to in the recovery position on the floor! Luckily she'd stopped me from hurting myself as I rolled off the bed and I was fine but it was a bit embarrassing!

I have spa membership at my gym. Funniest thing I ever witnessed there was in the salt grotto (I think they’ve changed the name now but it’s quite a nice eucalyptus one where they pour water and essential oils in through a hose in the ceiling every now and then), anyway…
I was sat in there one evening with my book relaxing minding my own business and there was a man in there also on his own. We both sat in total silence. 2 young, very attractive ladies came in. They were chatting to each other and the bloke all of a sudden broke into these lying down stretching exercises bringing his knees up to his chest one arm a time, then broke wind very loudly. He left immediately and the three of us laughed rather heartily

Oh my goodness @Hellotoallmyfans I’m glad you were okay!! Apparently dizziness after massages is really common!

The rest are hilarious 😂 keep em coming!

@Ionlydomassiveones

I went to a spa hotel as part of professional conference with colleagues. I was mortified when quite a senior female colleague cheerfully greeted me in the communal changing rooms stark naked whilst simultaneously flossing her nether regions with a towel. Ugh. I’m an utter prude and it was mortifying.

This is horrifying 😂😂😂

whilst simultaneously flossing her nether regions with a towel

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Went for a spa day with a couple of friends. There was a group of middle aged men hogging the sauna and we didn't feel we could go in. We saw many up and down for ages waiting for a turn but they were not for shifting. I said to my friends ffs let's just go in anyway and see if we can shame them into letting someone else having a turn.

We squeezed in a and sat down and I started up a conversation about periods. Cleared out the selfish fuckers in 10 seconds flat.

I just snorted at the thought of the epic fart!

I've embarrassed myself. Made an accidental loud 'O-Noise' at a back massage, if you know what I mean. Then got v embarrassed and started uncontrollably giggling for 5 minutes while trying to suppress it. She stopped and asked if everything was alright - I think she thought I was crying. I then tried to explain what happened but stumbled over my words and ended up sounding like some sort of pervert. She hadnt even registered the noise. She just gave me a sort of 'riiigggght' and carried on. The last 10 minutes were excruciating. I gave her a big tip and scuttled off pronto!

Eurgh, I must also be a massive prude because the women’s changing room is full of naked people drying their pubes with hairdryers, towel flossing and just strolling around with their boobs and foof out. I can’t handle it and so use the family changing rooms with the individual cubicle.
Yeah it’s my issue I know, no one was born wearing clothes and it’s natural etc but I don’t feel comfortable with the bare nudity!!

@TheChosenTwo

Eurgh, I must also be a massive prude because the women’s changing room is full of naked people drying their pubes with hairdryers, towel flossing and just strolling around with their boobs and foof out. I can’t handle it and so use the family changing rooms with the individual cubicle. Yeah it’s my issue I know, no one was born wearing clothes and it’s natural etc but I don’t feel comfortable with the bare nudity!!

I’m the same!! This week I changed in the cubicle and dried my hair in my bra and even that felt wild… after prancing around in my swimsuit which was obviously more revealing 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

@Ijustreallywantacat

I just snorted at the thought of the epic fart!

I've embarrassed myself. Made an accidental loud 'O-Noise' at a back massage, if you know what I mean. Then got v embarrassed and started uncontrollably giggling for 5 minutes while trying to suppress it. She stopped and asked if everything was alright - I think she thought I was crying. I then tried to explain what happened but stumbled over my words and ended up sounding like some sort of pervert. She hadnt even registered the noise. She just gave me a sort of 'riiigggght' and carried on. The last 10 minutes were excruciating. I gave her a big tip and scuttled off pronto!

😂😂 I literally wondered during my massage what would happen if I started doing that - like Monica from friends when Phoebe gives her a massage!!

@Lolarosemama I mean, fair play to those who are comfortable enough in their own skin to just get on with it, but there are only 2 cubicles in the women’s changing rooms discretely tucked into the corners and they’re always occupied so I just use the family changing. I don’t even like walking from the showers naked but for my towel!

I liked the conversation about periods and the impact it had!!

Good job some of you have never been to a German spa.

I startled the therapist. She'd done about 20 mins of the facial in silence (great) but then I asked a question and she nearly jumped out of her skin!!

Also first time in a big spa in Vegas and me and my friends sister were freaking out over the mini muffins and stuff (we were so excited) and my friend said you could hear us in all the treatment rooms wittering on about the mini muffins and stuffing our faces.

My best friend was given a “detox spa session” for her birthday by her boyfriend while staying in Thailand. She had a lovely morning in the spa and in the afternoon went for her treatment. She was told to strip off completely and lie down on the bed. She did that and covered her bum with a towel ready for her massage. She had a lovely massage for 30 minutes or so and then the lady went to the other side of the room and started to get some other bits and bobs. Lady came back and asked friend if she was ready, friend said “err, yeah” and spa lady started attempting to put a tube up her arse. Friend obviously jumped up and told spa lady she wasn’t expecting or wanting that.

That was about a decade ago and she still asks her boyfriend every year to please not get her another voucher for sexual assault. Funny in hindsight, probably not so much for her at the time.

Step aside, I have the story that you’re looking for.
Spa in a city centre gym, next to a shopping centre (Holmes Place Kingston for those old enough). Some amazing full body treatment involving being slathered in mud and then wrapped in cling film. Bit of rain forest sound in the background , dim lights, warmed mattress etc.
And then the shopping centre fire alarm went off
I had to stand out on the street at the back of the Bentall centre wrapped in muddy cling film, paper pants and a dressing gown. And the peopl whose workouts were disturbed didn’t even have the good grace to acknowledge that their fate wasn’t in fact so bad. I don’t think they refunded / offered a freebie but Christmas, it very much killed the relaxation buzz (no actual fire which is even more annoying)

(There was also the time I foolishly booked to go horse riding an hour after a colonic at a spa in the actual rain forest; I recommend that if you do ever go in for that treatment, you need to be able to fully let go in front of a total stranger. Nor a time to clench, makes for a very sloshy rising trot.)

I once booked at a new place for a Brazilian. I don't think the girl had ever done a Brazilian wax before as she ended up smearing the wax all over both labia at the same time so everything was all stuck together. She then couldn't pull it off as it was so painful. She eventually went and got some scissors so she could cut the wax off and start again. I still paid for it as well and didn't even complain to the manager!

In Cambodia once I'd eaten some dodgy fruit at the hotel buffet and had a dodgy stomach - facial massage was lovely and relaxing though until the very end when the therapist offered me some tea and I realised how ill I felt. Ran back to the room and promptly shat myself.

Not a horror story, but I used to be a member of a council-run spa whose other users seemed to be entirely composed of local eccentrics. Just
take two at random, there was a little old lady - at least 85, I’d guess - who used to wander around starkers, but for a pink fluffy beret. And there was another woman who would spend ages bouncing up and down in the plunge pool (naked,
obvs), giving her nether passages a good pressure washing.

I once went for an aromatherapy massage and it was so awful. I was practically crying at some points throughout it 😂 Anyway, the torture finally ended and she asked how it was. I did the classic British thing of saying how lovely it was and then practically ran home!

Some years ago I booked a full body massage at a local salon. On the day it turned out that the therapist was the owner of the business. She talked most of the way through the massage, which was annoying enough, but at some stage, and I can't remember why, must've been in response to how the conversation was going, I mentioned by sil had just been diagnosed with cancer. Her response was "how long does she have left?". Not exactly something you say to a client you've never met before.

I went home and I cried my eyes out. My poor sil, sadly did not survive, but at the time we all believed what she had was perfectly survivable. At least on paper.

@Lunariagal

Some years ago I booked a full body massage at a local salon. On the day it turned out that the therapist was the owner of the business. She talked most of the way through the massage, which was annoying enough, but at some stage, and I can't remember why, must've been in response to how the conversation was going, I mentioned by sil had just been diagnosed with cancer. Her response was "how long does she have left?". Not exactly something you say to a client you've never met before.

I went home and I cried my eyes out. My poor sil, sadly did not survive, but at the time we all believed what she had was perfectly survivable. At least on paper.

That is atrocious, I’m so sorry!!