I’m rich! I’m rich!

[Soubriquet]

Got an email today. Apparently an account I never knew I had, has over 2 million pounds in it and I need to claim it by midnight or will taken away

Soooooo, what do you want? I’m buying

Excellent news! I don't need anything buying as such ....... but would you mind paying this fee to Royal mail so they can deliver a package I aren't expecting? Apparently I was out when they called erm..... never. . I'd really appreciate that 🤗

No problem! I’ll cover the cost and you can hope it’s something that will make you happy

Really good gluten free doughnuts please!

Ooh fab, lucky you! Can you pay for my wedding to the Nigerian prince who emailed me? He's got temporary money troubles, poor lad.

Doughnuts on the way!

That Nigerian Prince. Is he the one who has lots of money waiting for you but it’s all stuck in customs? Normally I don’t like contributing to scams but just this once I’ll risk it

Can.you pay off what I.owe hmrc to stop my immediate arrest
Then again..men with handcuffs..

Bottle of Gin please.

A vast vat of melted chocolate, I mean big enough to dive into

Mumsnet

@2catsandhappy

Ooh fab, lucky you! Can you pay for my wedding to the Nigerian prince who emailed me? He's got temporary money troubles, poor lad.

Hmm. You’re describing my fiancé. I should LTB, shouldn't I…

I got a text from royal mail on Thursday saying they had dispatched my parcel and i could click on the following link to track. I ignored as i assumed scam. A few hours later i got another saying it had been delivered to my enclosed porch. (I dont have an enclosed porch). Click on the following link to track. I ignored it again. Got home and there was a parcel Id ordered. I just dont know who to believe anymore!

I got one of those email but it was for £9.7 million!!! The things I will be able to do..............!

Can you help me pay off the guys who are going g to help me sort it my national insurance number that has been cancelled ?

Such a bother to not have a NI number

My NI number has been fraudulently used on the Welsh border so I might need bailing out.
I could also do with some bitcoin to pay off the person who put a Trojan horse on my laptop and has watched me wanking off to animal porn
Any help gratefully received

If you could pay the hacker who emailed me saying that they’d recorded me pleasuring myself at naughty websites and threatened to reveal all to my nearest and dearest that would be grand thank you! I mostly manage to hide my incoming purchases of plants, China and kids clothes/toys but those pesky hackers are threatening to blow my cover and reveal all to DH who will know that a. it’s not clothes that the kids have had for forever, b. the plants are not ones I’ve made from cuttings and c. my China collection is growing into a 12 piece dinner, tea and coffee service complete with the correct plates for watching tennis which I don’t watch. Nor host parties for 12

On the plus side, they did compliment me on my buying technique, so that was nice of them. I assume that’s what they mean from their email anyway, I don't clutches pearls and whispers engage in sex and that sort of filth.

Thank you kindly xxx

I thought you were going to say you'd found an account with £24 in it.

That is UNTOLD WEALTH AND PRIVILEGE by MN standards. Apparently.

Do you think you could pay my Amazon prime bill. It's going to auto renew for 89.99. In fact could you buy me Amazon prime so it can auto renew every six days for 89.99. Thanks in advance.

I hate it when that happens.

Oh, this is timely OP. Apparently there has been some 'dubious ' downloads on my computer, and I am going to get wifi disconnected. If you could see it in your budget to get me re-connected I would love you forever.

Hi that's great news OP. In my case the FBI are after me. Sometimes I owe them money and Sometimes they owe me money- they're not really sure. Just incase on day they do decide to raid my house could I call on you for help with legal fees? Tia

I need to pay a private detective to help me investigate how Amazon can contact me on my landline to tell me there is a problem with my account, when I have never, ever given it to them

Could you recompense me for the recent car accident I had, (which strangely I have no recollection of) to save the nice people who called me going to any bother please?

Also I’d quite like to hire someone to beat the shiny shit out of the human refuse that keeps ringing my 80 yr old Aunt and telling her she needs to move her money to a safe account. She has dementia and it worries the life out of her.

I’m good thanks, I received 3 million last week, just waiting for it to hit my account 🙏

I got a letter today stating I have won some supredraw - only a million, but hey ho better than nothing!
Can you please please pay the admin fee so I can claim my prize?

One of my pension statements came in and they had added an extra zero on the end of my ‘pot’ amount. I almost passed out...