Completely and utterly exhausted with my life

[opalescent]

I don’t know whether it’s the summer holidays that has tipped the balance. Or getting a dog. Or both. But I just feel completely and utterly saturated with life right now.

I love my family so much. I love my job. I love my dog. But as a whole, I honestly fantasise about running away.

It’s the constant, constant noise. Kids arguing. Loud tv. Bloody YouTube blaring out of devices. Sleep deprivation. The constantly meeting others needs. Someone always, always wants something from me. Whether it’s my kids, husband, parents, friends, extended family, colleagues. Constant messages, WhatsApp, visits, phone calls. All minor, normal, pleasant interactions on their own. But I feel constantly in demand, and just wrung dry. I feel like I can’t wait until a different phase of my life, when my kids are older, but don’t want to wish my life away.

I love my husband so much, but I have nothing left to give him at the end of each day.

The constant never ending cycles of tasks, housework, budgeting, cooking, planning, organising, illnesses and associated washing/ changing childcare arrangements.

I’m so tired and just want some peace.

Please tell me I’m not alone in feeling like this.

You need to sit down and define your boundaries. Anything that crosses that or is able to be fulfilled by someone else is not your problem.
The act of defining your boundaries is a powerful statement of your worth, to yourself and to others. If anyone complains about you defining and demonstrating your own boundaries, it's because they benefit from you not having them. It's also a great example to show older kids

Feeling the same.... 😴😢

Thank you all for these amazing replies, and so many good suggestions of ways to find some peaceful alone time. Really appreciate you all contributing, and it does feel good to know I'm not alone.

I feel exactly the same.

Exceptional post beetlewing We should teach our children boundaries and values along with five a day and the alphabet.

Ha e you planned a morning out for tomorrow OP? WITHOUT KIDS OR DOG

I’m at the burnt out stage now with a mouth full of ulcers because I’m so bloody run down! Two under two and I love them so much but it’s really hard work keeping them happy and getting all the other stuff done. In fact a lot of the time I don’t get all I want done, and I know they will get bigger and I’ll miss them being small so trying to enjoy it but it can be very overwhelming at times too when you see the chaos around you😂

@13579db 😂 I haven't planned one for tomorrow, as dd has had a vomiting bug today, and dh has done the bulk of the work, as I've been tied up with work.
But I will. I love the idea.

@Beetlewing very wise words

It’s the mental load I find draining. Even when others help, I have to organise their help if that makes sense.

Do we have enough food in? What do the kids need in the next size up? Have we got drinks, rain coats, nappies when we are going out?
Has everyone eaten ok and drank enough today?

It’s so hard isn’t it? My dh calls me the project manager of the family. I do it naturally and with his adhd and our boys displaying symptoms, it seems I don’t get any head space even if I get physical space.

So I hear you. Not sure what the answer is?

@Chipsahoy absolutely. The mental load is incredibly draining, and completely invisible 😩

I dropped cooking when mine were younger, I made very quick meals, eggs, beans on toast, steak and salad etc and that took a load off my plate and reduced all prep time and washing dishes etc,

Paper plates for a while? 🤣

OP sorry to hear about the vomiting bug! I hope your DD feels better soon. Maybe a sofa, blanket Disney movies tomorrow instead Anyway hope you get some rest Everything else can wait

I once stood there on a Sunday afternoon ironing for 4 hours

Said no one ever. Or so I thought! I mean really??

I agree with Beetlewing's post, however to live like that you need a drop in expectations of what you expect to be done/life to look like. Not everything needs to be perfect and I'm trying to realise that not everyone in my family shares my desire for things to be organised, or tidy, etc or things cooked in a certain way. So sometimes i think there's no point forcing it. Who does it benefit? Not sure I've explained this very well!

I don't know if you, like me, have a DH who manages to have a hobby and goes for a 'boys' drink at the pub once every few weeks. I have decided recently that every time he does a few hours out of an afternoon or evening, I take the exact same amount of time the following day (must be immediate or it gets forgotten about). Sometimes I just sit by myself somewhere, or see a friend.

It has done me the world of good as I was getting so annoyed with him.
And he has reduced the amount of time he spends on his hobby. It's much fairer.

• what I'm trying to say is claim some time for yourself.

I feel the same.

Also have decision fatigue - what to do, what we all eat. And school hasn't even started yet! I have massive to do list which I'm working through but it's exhausting.

We got a puppy in January, I dreamed of the long walks up the hills or country side on our doorstep, then I became ill and then dh too. School holidays were a longgg ass 8 weeks this year and dd6 has found hour long songs on youtube, as in, the same song repeated over and over for an hour. My poor fucking head.

but I tell you, now they're back it's sooo nice to have quiet and snuggle on the sofa with puppy and surprisingly I've had much less migraines, fancy that eh.

I can relate .

@InvincibleInvisibility god yes, so sick of making decisions. Particularly related to food 🙄

I've been there a few things that have helped:

• deleted WhatsApp. Too many groups and information my head just didn't need. Not one single regret, even though I have no idea what time school drop off is next week, and I know the mums group would know. I'll just turn up around 8:45 and it will be fine

• simplify meals. Protein and some veg every night. Baked potatoes etc. Rolling two week rota. Makes food shopping easier

• divorce your DH if he doesn't pull his weight

• make sure the kids pull their weight regardless of age. Teach them how to use a hoover and clean the bathroom. They are responsible for tidying up after themselves.

• simplify kids activities. Do they really need to do archery? We're not living in hunger games territory yet so probably not

• don't buy things that need ironing

• get a hobby that gets you out of the house and equitable amount of time to DH

Absolutely not alone....life is relentless 😒😒

Don’t buy in to every question you’re asked

“Mummy where are my shoes” - I don’t know darling, I’m sure you’ll find them though

“What’s for dinner” - why don’t you look in the fridge and decide

“Sally said this and then I said that and now she’s being mean to me” - oh that’s a shame I’m sure you’ll work it out