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Original poster

If you had your first DC at 40 or older, did you go on to have more?

38 replies

DozingDoughnut · 27/08/2021 07:51

If you gave birth to your first DC at 40 or over, did you go on to have any further children?
Just wondering how common it is for older first time mums to have more than one. Thanks

OP posts:
KeflavikAirport · 27/08/2021 08:43

Had mine at 39, three weeks before I turned 40 and my second at 41.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/08/2021 08:52

A dd had hers at 38, 39, and nearly 43.
A friend of hers had her 2nd at 45.

TheSpanishApartment · 27/08/2021 10:12

No. Had one and only at 41. However have several friends who had two over 40. Mine did not (still does not) sleep.

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RampantIvy · 27/08/2021 10:23

No, I had DD at 41, and sadly, no more. She was a miracle baby.

iamthesandstorm · 27/08/2021 10:24

No. .just the one at 40

MrsWooster · 27/08/2021 10:44

43 and 46. Bloody lucky.

Spaceformetoo · 27/08/2021 22:29

Had first at 40, a month before turning 41. Then had a miscarriage a few weeks before turning 42 and decided not to try again.

ArcticLemming · 27/08/2021 22:31

Yes - 41 and 43. V lucky.

MackenCheese · 27/08/2021 22:32

Yes, 41 and 42. Very lucky too!

SpringSparrow · 27/08/2021 22:35

Not me, but I have two friends who had children in their forties, one at 41 and 43 (first one ivf, second naturally), the other at 40 and 44.

AliasGrape · 27/08/2021 22:39

Had DD at 40 currently very torn over whether we are going to try for another. Through all the years of ttc and when I was pregnant I was convinced we would just be so grateful to get our one we wouldn’t push our luck and try for any more. DH still feels that way I think. I’m insanely broody and would like to try again but also scared of trying in case it all went wrong and ‘ruining’ the happiness we have with our beautiful DD.

So yeah, remains to be seen for us. Far more likely that we will be sticking with one than not though I’d say.

SpnBaby1967 · 27/08/2021 22:40

I have an acquaintance who had one at 43 & her second at 46.

Bloody mad & lucky for her Grin

gonnabeok · 27/08/2021 22:41

Just one at 40

Helbelle75 · 27/08/2021 22:43

I had my first at 41, and my second at 44.
My sister had hers at 40 and 43.
We're late starters in our family!

TempsPerdu · 27/08/2021 23:15

Had DD at 40 currently very torn over whether we are going to try for another. Through all the years of ttc and when I was pregnant I was convinced we would just be so grateful to get our one we wouldn’t push our luck and try for any more. DH still feels that way I think. I’m insanely broody and would like to try again but also scared of trying in case it all went wrong and ‘ruining’ the happiness we have with our beautiful DD.

This is exactly me, except I had DD at 37 and am now 41. DD was a demanding baby (colic, reflux, non-sleeper/napper) and only since she turned three could I even contemplate having another. I never really had a strong biological urge to have kids until DD was born, and then we were sure we were ‘one and done’ (DP still is I think) - but now the guilt is kicking in about not giving DD a sibling, especially as there are no cousins or extended family. At our age, though, I’m terrified of pushing our luck, especially as a friend’s second baby turned out to be profoundly disabled - it really made the risks of later parenthood hit home.

LumpyandBumps · 27/08/2021 23:15

I had my first when I was 41, and my second 21 months later when I was 43. I feel very lucky. They are now 19 and 17.

Hadalifeonce · 27/08/2021 23:18

1st at 42, then a miscarriage and 2nd at 44. No more

Mmr224 · 27/08/2021 23:22

43 and 44, both ivf babies, we were lucky, had 2 transfers from 5 embryos and both worked first time.

Bathsheba1878 · 27/08/2021 23:25

One at 40. Would have loved more, but it wasn’t to be.

GreyhoundG1rl · 27/08/2021 23:27

I know someone who had her first at 42, second at 44, and third (and last) at 46.
I think that's quite unusual, though.

MiniMaxi · 27/08/2021 23:35

@TempsPerdu almost exactly the same situ as you. Had DS at 36. He’s now 5 and I often feel like I would love another but also scared of the impact if something went wrong - things are great as they are and I don’t want to rock the boat.

Backhometothenorth · 27/08/2021 23:38

DD1 at 39 (then two miscarriages) then DD2 at 43

MissOrganisedMe · 27/08/2021 23:40

@TempsPerdu & @MiniMaxi - exactly like me. DD at 36, early miscarriage in January then a miscarriage with twins at 40 in April. Still contemplating whether or not to try again.

TempsPerdu · 27/08/2021 23:47

@MiniMaxi @MissOrganisedMe It’s so difficult isn’t it? I feel fine about things, mostly, and DD is an absolute delight and seems happy enough - but then two kids is so much the societal norm (all but one of our NCT group have recently had #2) and you read depressing threads like the current Only Child one on here, and it does make you second guess yourself.

I was so, so sure I only wanted one (until about 35 I didn’t want any at all!) but it’s impossible to say whether my current feelings are hormonal (last chance saloon before menopause), peer pressure or genuine broodiness.

ThePersonFromPorlock · 28/08/2021 00:37

I was 41 and 45. I had two early miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy in the intervening years. The ectopic pregnancy resulted in having a Fallopian tube removed, so I am very lucky to have DS2.