Fucking hand dryers.

[SwanShaped]

My kid won’t go in any toilet with one in it. Which is almost all of them! Argh!!!!!!

Same, my 4 year old hates the dryers - and even the sound of the flush.
She starts school in a couple of weeks and in the induction info it says the toilets have hand dryers so we need to prepare children for it. I wish they didn't. They clearly know dryers bother many children yet they still have them. I don't want her to hate school simply because of the toilets but I think it will be a big issue for her.

Sorry for the horrible link, but ear defenders for children :

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Aw, I remember this stage very well. My DD was the worst for it but she was scared of everything so going anywhere was difficult. I always left with wet hands and prayed nobody would dry theirs while we were in there.

[quote Twizbe]@CeeceeBloomingdale oh so that's where I've been going wrong.

I should tell my hysterically crying 4 year old to 'just get over it' I never knew it was that simple to sort out 🙄[/quote]
Well it worked for my two, including one with sensory issues. If you don’t indulge a fuss the fuss stops happening. They have to realise the world doesn’t revolve around them and hand dryers will make noises whether they like it or not. I just explained what it was and that we were using the toilets regardless and kept doing so they stopped kicking off after a while when they realised it was non negotiable. I’m not going to tell grown adults they can’t wash their hands as my little princesses don’t like the noise.

My sister used to be the same when she was 4/5. Would scream and cry. My mum made sure she used them as much as possible until she got over it. It won't immediately work for everyone but I often find the best response to fear is to show that its not a big deal and jump back on in there.

My son hated them - he called them the fire! He suddenly was fine again from about 3.5

Was once approached in an M&S loo by a small child, maybe 4ish, who very nicely asked if I would mind not using the hand dryers while he was in there. It was immensely sweet, and who’s going to say no to a very serious tiny polite person.

@doingnothing sure, fine. And enjoy yourself while you watch my autistic child wet herself in terror.
Thanks goodness for disabled toilets.

Ear defenders are your friend.

The world doesn't revolve around the needs of children. If your kid is scared of cars you don't expect everyone to stop driving and walk everywhere. They just have to learn to cope.

Many modern hand dryers operate at well over 100dB, and are louder at child ear height — a 13yo Canadian girl had a paper published on this a couple of years ago. And children's ears are more susceptible to damage (or at least haven't already been damaged yet). It's unsurprising they hate the noise, since it's loud enough to cause permanent damage with continued exposure.

I believe that Prince Charles doesn't like them at all.

But then I hear he takes his own toilet seat with him. It's not a fetish or that he's in love with it or anything like that. I don't why he does it.

I wonder if it's like a shooting stick thing and he can just position over toilet bowl?

Some understanding posters, as ever, thank you. And some who think I’ve clearly not tried hard enough in and that telling her to get over it would work. Day trip all today and I tried to get her to go in about 4 times. She was screaming and hitting and trying anything she could to get out of my arms. Not being naughty, just petrified. I don’t tell her off for being frightened. The toilet we went in, I even showed her that it wasn’t working. She still wouldn’t go in the room. Single toilet so no one else in it.

Also, fucking hand dryers is a thing isn’t it? Don’t some men stick their dicks in the dyson ones that you dangle your hands into? Or is that an urban myth?

Hand dryers are gross anyway. Just germs flying about everywhere.

Might have a look at ear defenders but I’m also a bit reluctant to start using a crutch and then have to have them all the time.

ohWifey disabled toilets are better but sometimes even just seeing a dryer is enough to set her off screaming. Even if I reassure her I won’t use it.

How old is she? I often find the best thing is to act a bit silly about it. When my nephew (ASD) was terrified of the shower head in the bath, I made a game of spraying my arm I short bursts with the shower, then laughing uproariously. Sprayed myself lots of times as he looked on, smile started creeping in, and eventually he got in and had a go.

Maybe do it gradually. Stand next to it, press the button while she's away from it, laugh at it, put your hand in and out, put your toes under it and laugh. Use it to blow your hair about in funny ways?!

Most of all positivity. If you're nervous she will be too!

@Ijustreallywantacat

How old is she? I often find the best thing is to act a bit silly about it. When my nephew (ASD) was terrified of the shower head in the bath, I made a game of spraying my arm I short bursts with the shower, then laughing uproariously. Sprayed myself lots of times as he looked on, smile started creeping in, and eventually he got in and had a go.

Maybe do it gradually. Stand next to it, press the button while she's away from it, laugh at it, put your hand in and out, put your toes under it and laugh. Use it to blow your hair about in funny ways?!

Most of all positivity. If you're nervous she will be too!

Not sure this approach will work with hand dryers because unlike a shower head (assuming not one of those violent skin-drilling power showers), the fear is of something that causes intense physical discomfort/pain. I'm in my thirties and still sometimes have to clap my hands over my ears from a loud unexpected hand dryer. I try not to if there's anyone there to see it… 😂

I mean it's worth a go, if it's just the unexpectedness and unfamiliarity of it. But if it's actually loud enough to hurt, which some hand dryers are, then habituation doesn't reduce the pain, just teaches the child they don't have the right to protect themselves from it.

We have to use the disabled toilets, DS has (not yet diagnosed) sensory issues. Incidentally, it was the hand dryers being switched back on (turned off though his nursery year due to covid) at school that has tipped the "we think we're going to assess him" at school.

I'm not a flapper or a fusser and have done the "just explain" and all that. He starts panicking when the door opens, there's usually loud crying and trying to get away from me. He's rather wet himself than go in. Ear defenders don't help.

If someone used the hand dryer, out of spite, to make a point. I genuinely think I'd struggle not to give them a mouthful of abuse. Not that you'd be able to hear it over the noise that would be coming out of DS and the wee that would be all over their shoes as he made a run for it.

I'm glad there are other parents with the same issue. My dd who is 5 won't use them at all. I have to dry her hands with tissues after. She used to cry hysterically and not want to go in the toilets but now I can get her to go in but still won't use them.

Yeah I don’t know if it’s just coz it’s sudden and loud at head height, or if it actually hurts her ears. She managed a whole day out without going for a wee today.

I’m also not a fusser, get my kids to do things they’re scared of all the time. Help them push themselves out of their comfort zone. But this is pure fear.

Our DC managed to get over this through a game they weirdly invented (not saying this is going to work for anyone else btw it was just a strange thing they both did). We had an enormous cardboard box and I thought it would be nice to turn it into a petrol pump as one of the DC had been given a ride on car for their birthday. However I am not very crafty and DC started pretending it was a loo they found this hilarious, especially when I tried to insist it was a petrol pump. So I said if it was a loo then it would have to have a hand dryer and made one out of a shoebox and a kitchen roll. The children and I would take turns on the loo (it is embarrassing just relaying this, but it was just one of those "keep the DC amused by any means possible on a wet Saturday" things) but when it was my 'turn' I would insist that no one use the 'hand dryer' and if they did then I would roll on the floor pretending to scream. Of course DC pressed it a lot. DH actually made me stop the game as he thought it was reinforcing their fear and at the time I thought he was right and stopped. But the next time we were out and went to the public loo one of the DC pressed the button on the hand dryer as we went into the loos and of course I then pretended to be scared. So they pretty much cured themselves by enjoying watching me make a prat of myself. There followed the saga of stopping them pressing the button everytime we went into the loos (why is everything such a battle???) but the fear of the dryer had ended.

Like I said this won't work for anyone else, my DC are just weird!

I get this too. The most annoying thing is when one person uses it and she starts screaming, and then another bloody person who must have heard her does it too. I mean, I get it, they can do what they want, but it would be great if they could just use one of the available napkins instead that one time.

Where I used to work was next to some toilets. I hated it as the hand dryers were constantly roaring.

I switched them off in the end

I hate them with a passion and I’m a grownup…