Help me solve this neighbour's toys conundrum

[notonyournell]

I have moved into a new house and either side of my has families with DC (they both have 2 boys)

Recently I was out in the garden and the garden child to the left shouted 'Can I have my ball back please?!'

The only ball there was an orange one and I threw it over. I was then confronted by the dad that evening from the other family that I had 'gifted' HIS DC's ball to the other neighbours?!

I said no... he said yes, his son asked for it back and the other boys said I'd given it to them I said there's been a mistake but I'm sorry. He went off in a huff

Now today, I was in the garden and was greeted by about 4/5 different toys! A mixture of balls, a hoop and a frisbee

I went round to the door who complained I'd given next door their ball first. He took the lot (the dad and boys) and left a frisbee.

I went over to the other neighbours next and gave them their frisbee. The mum said thanks but where's the rest? The boys said they'd kicked a few things round today and wanted them back?

I said sorry, not sure what that was but next door have just taken a lot of stuff back from my garden. She said 'without asking us?!' And then she just huffed and said just throw it over next time

What do I do?!

They keep throwing stuff over. DS got hold of one thing the other day and bit into it leaving teeth marks luckily I wasn't confronted about that, and thankfully I was out there when it was kicked over so knew for sure who's garden it had come from

My boys are constantly kicking footballs over our fences. I am incredibly grateful if our neighbours throw anything back over. I would love it if they just bunged it on their drive for us to collect. I hate bothering them for the balls back. I know it is a total pain having balls chucked in your garden all of the time. I make my DC wait until the neighbours have the time and inclination to throw the balls back over.

@burritofan

I’d chuck the lot on your drive possibly in the wheelie binand let them sort it out.

This! Don't throw them back, their own fault

Heliachi, how exactly do I stop two young boys, one of whom has SN from kicking balls over the fence? I could stop them playing in the garden I suppose. I could take away all of their balls. However, I think that most reasonable people would agree that a few footballs going over the fence is better than two children who are on their long summer holiday from school not being allowed the exercise, fun and stimulation that playing football in the garden provides.

I take them out as much as possible. We go to the park, the library, the woods, the river and more expensive trips out when I can. I know that balls over the fence is really annoying but it is hardly the end of the world.

As children we weren't allowed to go and ask neighbours for the wayward balls and had to wait until they were thrown back. They were labelled with permanent marker and they all came back eventually. We also weren't allowed to play ball games in the garden on a Sunday so neighbours knew there would be one day each weekend that there was no risk of being hit by flying balls. These days, our garden is much too small for ball games or frisbees so we've always taken the DCs to the local park for ball games. When DC2 was little, the neighbours took to playing pool outside and somehow managed to send a pool ball flying over our 6ft fence.

I think parents with children who regularly kick balls etc over the fence need to find a way to reduce this whether by limiting the days they allow ball games to be played outside or by installing something along the lines of ball-stop netting over the top of their garden. There are affordable options on ebay sold as garden cricket practice nets but roof netting is widely available and is used in lots of MUGAs and roof top playgrounds. In OP's situation, I would drop a note over to each neighbour explaining how stressful you and your DS are finding it, explaining that you will collect anything that comes over about once a week and will leave it just outside your front door. In the same note, ask them to look into getting ball stop roof netting installed to prevent damage their children's games causing damage to your garden and potential injury to you/your DS.