Is there something wrong with me as a mother?

[JustWondering9]

I have a 1 year old son. I love him very much.

Our childminder is on a 2 week holiday at the moment.

My partner took last week off work and I'm taking this week off work to look after our son.

Last week when it was my partners week he took my son for two days to see a dear friend of ours that lives 3 hours away by the seaside. I was completely fine with that as I completely trust my partner and I was happy for him that he could go for a nice "holiday" while I was working.

My heart was aching when I saw the car driving off as it was the first time being separate from my son and I was very worried whilst they were driving and I was only able to go to sleep once I knew they arrived safely.

During their stay there we video chatted frequently and I received lots of lovely pictures and video.

I have to admit once I knew they were safe there and had a good time I wasn't suffering. I enjoyed having a good night's sleep and being able to watch what I wanted on Netflix. Being able to take long, uninterrupted showers.

Our neighbours have now asked me at least three times how I was able to do that.

"How did you cope because mothers never want to be separate from their child"?

"How did you feel doing this?"

"Were you okay with this?"

I'm really wondering now if there's something wrong with me and if I'm a bad mother? x

Completely normal. Take no notice of abnormal neighbours, poor things.

Your neighbour is obviously waiting for their parent of the year award to arrive.

In order to qualify you must claim:-
To never want to be away from your child
To never find your child hard work
To never raise your voice beyond a loving whisper

If on the off chance your child is away for a few hours that time must be spent weeping and pining until they return

This type of stealth shaming/boasting really pisses me off.

Someone once told me I was a bad mum because I went to a medical appointment without my child when they were three months old! They then claimed it was a joke when I told them they were talking bollocks!

Your neighbours are talking crap.

Either that or their husbands were/are so useless with their own kids they don't realise that owners of a penis are just as capable of childcare as women.

FWIW I have an absolutely fabulous nearly 17 year old. She hasn't done overnights with her dad since we split 5 years ago and whilst she's independent, self sufficient and great company - we get on ridiculously well - there are still times when I would gnaw my own arm off for 48 hours in an empty house!

I have been away loads without my kids. I always miss them but not so much that it ruins my time away. I just look forward to seeing them again!

Ehh no, not weird at all. I love my DD but I also love it when she spends a night at Granny’s house!

Your neighbours are weird. Everyone needs a break and it makes you a much better mum to have one.

If your neighbours are older, with children who are grown, perhaps they feel a little jealous or are projecting how they were made to feel.

If your neighbours are a similar age with children of a similar age, perhaps they are projecting their own fears of how they might feel and why they might avoid doing it themselves.

If your neighbours don’t have children, frankly, on this latter, their opinions don't count.

If your neighbours aren't, ignore them.

I love time away from children and barely give them a second thought if they're with their dad or brother and I know they're safe!

*aren't = are men

DS recently spent two nights at his grand parents, we’ve never slept so damn good 😂🤷🏽‍♀️. He’s 14.5m

You’re fine, as others have said.

You are totally normal, and very lucky that your OH takes his child away on his own.

Ignore them...that sounds like bliss to me, I'm glad you enjoyed it💗

OP there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. It sou ds like my idea of HEAVEN. My child being with their dad so i can have relax . Just enjoy it!

Thanks everyone for your reassuring comments.

My neighbours are in their 50s and they have 3 grownup children, aged 32, 29 and 27.

I think it's probably a generational thing, I think a lot has changed in the last 20 to 30 years and dads are more hands on nowadays and more involved.

I'm in my 50s and LOVED it when husband took mine off camping or the like when they were little. Husband took my eldest off on a visit when only a few months old. They are loons and have forgotten what it is like to have kids. Heaven forbid if you use a nursery, don't bake cakes and....feed them non home cooked things. My mum has these views and it was a little wearing when they were tots but she did her parenting mostly in the late 1950s and mid 1960s when women's roles were different. Your neighbours are bats. You are not.