Is there something wrong with me as a mother?

[JustWondering9]

I have a 1 year old son. I love him very much.

Our childminder is on a 2 week holiday at the moment.

My partner took last week off work and I'm taking this week off work to look after our son.

Last week when it was my partners week he took my son for two days to see a dear friend of ours that lives 3 hours away by the seaside. I was completely fine with that as I completely trust my partner and I was happy for him that he could go for a nice "holiday" while I was working.

My heart was aching when I saw the car driving off as it was the first time being separate from my son and I was very worried whilst they were driving and I was only able to go to sleep once I knew they arrived safely.

During their stay there we video chatted frequently and I received lots of lovely pictures and video.

I have to admit once I knew they were safe there and had a good time I wasn't suffering. I enjoyed having a good night's sleep and being able to watch what I wanted on Netflix. Being able to take long, uninterrupted showers.

Our neighbours have now asked me at least three times how I was able to do that.

"How did you cope because mothers never want to be separate from their child"?

"How did you feel doing this?"

"Were you okay with this?"

I'm really wondering now if there's something wrong with me and if I'm a bad mother? x

Sounds bloody marvellous and your neighbours are batshit.

They're just jealous.

It's lovely that you trust DH to look after the little one. Way too often women post on here that they feel nervous leaving kids with their dad for an hour or two so I'm relieved you're not one of those people!

It sounds like you all had a well-deserved break.

I think your reply should just be that your husband is an amazing dad, and you totally trust him to parent his own child AND make sure he has a fabulous time, whilst you have a bit of a break

They sound jealous.. they want to pull you down for some reason.

All sounds fine to me. Me and my DH have always allowed each other for go away with friends etc or given each other a break. We share parenting together and also separate sometimes. Totally normal to me.

When my youngest was 10 months I went to India for 8 days followed by China for 8 days (for work). I absolutely missed him and his brother but they were with their dad. It's totally fine to enjoy two days break whilst you know your son is with his father!

Actually, their dad also took them to his sisters for a weekend around then too. Also fine!

I have a fantastic relationship with both sons and love them to bits.

they wouldn't ask your DH the same thing. There is a societal pressure on women to be the perfect selfless mothers - the whole Madonna thing.

I went to kenya for 7 days for work when my DS was 18 months. People raved about how amazing DH was for looking after his own child. In contrast, DH worked away from when DS1 was aged 3 to 6 years old coming home for 2 days every month or so. No-one said how amazing i was. (I was fucking awesome, and remain so).

It's lovely that you trust DH to look after the little one

It's not lovely, its just normal parenting.

I had to leave my DD for two weeks once. Of course I missed her but I was actually too busy to miss her. She found it tough but she was with her father and grandparents.

It was an excellent opportunity to stop breastfeeding after almost 3 years

@BeauxRingarde read the rest of my post. It's lovely because of the regular posts on here about useless dads and partners.

I did. The fact that other people are very sub par does not make it any less normal,
Lets stop giving medals to the menz for basic parenting.

@BeauxRingarde cool - be an arse if it makes you feel better

Your neighbours sound like idiots and are probably projecting the fact that they may have hapless dads in the family who can't look after their own kids for a couple of days. Enjoy your freedom!

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.

I bloody love it when my DC are away with their father, or another trusted relative. Yeah, I miss them sometimes but I enjoy and appreciate the rest and peace and quiet.

Be very happy your DC has two parents who are equal. Good job. And ignore the busybodies.

They are bonkers! I'm trying to get my 5yr to go with daddy for a weekend at nannas but she won't go without me 🤦🏼‍♀️
Nice long sleep and the tv sounds bliss!

That sounds like total bliss TBH!

You are totally normal! Are they on the older side...?

Doubt they'd have said the same thing to the children's father if he wanted some peace and quiet. Your neighbours have old fashioned beliefs about mothers/women.

At that age I left DD to go on a 2 week long work trip to the far east. I cried a little on the train but after that just got stuck into my work. They were safe with DH. Very limited contact due to time difference.

2 days absence just sounds lovely and peaceful. Many mothers would dream of it. I know mothers who check themselves into hotels sometimes, for peace and quiet.

Ignore the neighbours, they are idiots.

DH and I both travel for work btw, and I am the only one who ever gets asked, in tones of dismay/horror/surprise/admiration 'but what have you done with the children?' When I mention DH has them they're always in awe of how 'hands on' he is, with. his. own. bloody. children. Meanwhile DH's contacts simply assume that the wife is at home looking after them.

I have taken to replying blandly that I just left them in the cupboard under the stairs, because it seemed to work out ok for Harry Potter.

Sometimes I think they believe me...

I was bloody delighted when DD went out with DH and I got some time to myself!

Absolutely not. It’s important to both allow your children to develop relationships with the other trusted adults in their life independently of you, and to establish yourself as a person with needs that have importance. Your neighbours are oddballs. 😂

Your neighbours are idiots.

Love my kids to bits but I'd thoroughly enjoy them going on holiday without me! Have your neighbours got kids? Maybe they are jealous. I'm certainly envious! Enjoy every second, and enjoy how lovely it will be to get him back 😀

I couldn't agree more with the comments about "oh isn't he great on his own with the kids " when absolutely no one would say this about a woman..it's like the way single dads are put on some pedestal...
My dh and I swap over a bit as we have no family support and childcare is very thin on the ground where we are and v expensive. If we didn't swap over we would never get a break ever. Sometimes we use it to get practical stuff done or to work and other times we use it to chill, sleep-in, watch TV and take a break etc. We realised after years of sleep deprivation, working constantly that we had hit burn out so we work as as team and swap over, it makes us better parents. It's absolutely fabulous also!!
I remember one weekend my dh went away with our three dcs and I was out running, I met a mum from the school who was amazed when I told her how dh was away all weekend with the 3 dcs and exclaimed how she couldn't do that.... !! There was more comments along the lines of them missing mum etc etc.

She does though, her dc are in regular childcare and her parents help loads.
The real issue I suspect is their dhs wouldn't look after the dcs solo or bring them away on their own so they never have those weekends to themselves so in turn try to guilt-trip others!
Enjoy your time op and recharge those batteries.

Your neighbours are jealous fools. Ignore their opinions.

Your neighbours are bonkers. You are totally normal.