How did you celebrate your DC's First Holy Communion?

[Usual2usual]

So DS will have his first communion next year. I'm not Catholic (DH is) so while I did know it was a big deal I don't quite think I understood the extent of the celebrations involved. DH just casually mentioned the other day how 'everyone' has big parties etc.

So I've looked into it and so many people from school have already booked church halls/hotel function rooms/restaurants to hold massive family parties (everyone around here seems to have large extended families) and I'm now confused about what to do because we don't have close extended families or loads of friends so this isn't an option for us. It will be DH and I, DD and probably MIL and FIL.

I feel bad that DS will miss out on what all his other friends are having and want to still make the day special.

How did you celebrate your DC's communions - has anyone just done something small?

Nowadays it's all big family parties but when we were growing up, the celebration was just the child's immediate family and grandparents for a meal that day and then the following weekend, we had a day out at the beach or zoo.

When i had my holy communion and confirmation the family just had a lovely high tea…got a few little presents as well

That was a long time ago and I remember being very shocked that one girl wasn’t having a party or high tea or anything 😔 so I invited her to mine

The family…..sounds vaguely mafia. It was just my mum, atheist dad and my brother 😀

For DC1, we invited family to our house after mass. I did buy a first holy communion themed tablecloth, plates and cups. Food was chicken, pasta, salads etc. And the children got to play with their cousins.

For DC2, we were in lockdown, so we were only allowed our household. I made a cake (badly) and reused the tablecloth/spare cups and plates and had a small party at home with the one non household member we snuck into that service.

Our eldest we had afternoon tea at a nice local hotel - immediate family, Godparents and Grandparents. The second one is coming up soon and I'll probably do something similar, but I'm not really excited about it. My Mum will be away, one of her Godparents is on a different country. It's going to be a much more subdued affair!

Like you, I’m the non-Catholic. There is no way I’d make that big a deal about it. We invited grandparents, uncles, aunts and any other stray relatives who might find a religious ceremony meaningful, and had a buffet at our house.

Oh, the dresses were picked up in charity shops for a couple of quid.

I was shocked by the enormous sums of money given by Irish relatives, though.

For DS1 had a tea back at the house after the ceremony and went out for dinner that night.

Do something that's special to your ds. Is there a particular restaurant he likes? Mine would be thrilled with a family meal out at Pizza Hut because we pretty much never take him there. It doesn't matter where it is so long as he feels that it's about him on the day and not a fancy hotel lunch aimed at pleasing adults for example.

Thanks for the replies. Some good ideas.

I feel so stupid for not realising how big a deal it was, I don't want DS to feel left out.

We had a lovely lunch at Pizza Express for DD's. My parents travelled from couple of hours away, SIL from further away and DH's other siblings and kids came over from Ireland. We also had a local friend of DD's and her mum at the meal, as they had come to the church. The ceremony was lovely too, and meaningful, as DD and DH were, and are, weekly Mass attenders.

I'm the non-Catholic, but it was a fantastic day, really one of the nicest family days we've ever had.

I let my child pick where they wanted to go for tea, one went Pizza Hut, one went the local pub and the third chose a takeaway.

I had family dinner at a hotel which was a big treat.
My sons had wider family gatherings for dinner at local hotels and back home for cake, bouncy castle etc with cousins and family.
For us it was a big family celebration, same for my nieces and nephews.
Hope your DS has a lovely day 😀😀

We hired a room at our local sports club where we are members and they did food for us, about 20 all together, could have done it at home but it was easier not to.

Compared to family in Ireland this was ridiculously small, they have huge parties, bouncy castles, entertainers the works.

Dad did hers when we lived in Switzerland. In her preparation class, there were around 15 other English speaking children, 2/3 were from the USA.
I had no idea what to expect as an atheist. Her church were sensible and arranged for all the children to hire oatmeal coloured robes with rope belts so they all looked the same.
A lot of the American mums were pissed off because they had ordered fancy pants white Lacy dresses.
After the ceremony we went out to a restaurant with the priest and his assistant and the girls ‘wore the dresses they deserved’.
We asked DD what she wanted as a present, she chose my first Victorinox Swiss Army knife

Mine, 50ish years ago. Was high tea with close family.
One I went to 3 years ago had 60 guests, DJ, bouncy castle and amazing food, plus 4 cakes.
It was for my friends 4 children though.
My nan as a child, said they all would knock at neighbours doors and be given sweets and money.
I just think it should be how you want it

Please don't forget that it is a religious occasion, after all. Having a lavish party when many who make their first Communion are in families struggling to make ends meet seems wrong. The important thing is nearest and dearest being there.

Our DDs was during the lockdown. She was only allowed 8 guests including our household so only the grandparents were able to attend. It was on a weekday evening mass so on the Saturday afterwards, we invited some family over into the garden as it was all we were allowed to do at the time. We had a lovely time. We had a BBQ and the children played garden games. She wore her dress to have photos with her uncles and grandparents then changed into other clothes to play.

My D.C. had buffet style parties at home because we have a big family but I've also been to post communion dos which were just godparents, parents and the communicant at a local Italian or chain restaurant. Two of those were in Ireland so a big do isn't compulsory.

My daughter's was in lock down she chose to go to Toby carvery (which was her choice she loves a carvery!) with immediate family. In previous years all the parents normally hire a venue together and have a joint party which I think is really nice.

Just lunch at our house but with a cake and took cakes to church to share after service and before lunch

We had a big party for DD with all the family (both sides) and friends.
We hired a country house near us and had use of the gardens too so hired bouncy castles for the children.

I remember my party for my FHC in 1998 so it has always been a “thing”

For my three dcs we went to a local restaurant with close family. My friend made a Holy Communion cake , took photos. Went home and had a very small get together, The kids loved it
When I was a child we had a joint class party in the school hall for about an hour and a half. We then went home and had a massive party

I feel like the DH is the one who needs to take the reigns here - you can't be expected to do all the emotional labour of trying to cobble together a religious event for a religion you're not a part of. Get him to start organising :) Can some of his relatives make suggestions?

We went to a nice restaurant with both sets of grandparents so 8 of us in total. One of the mums at school invited ds1 to the football soccer dome and so he got an afternoon there with friends as a bit of a treat. I then took her boy out a different day.

My ds2 will have his FHC next year too and will be having family down again for a low key meal. Will probably ask around nearer the time if some of my mum friends in the same year want to organise a little treat for them to celebrate and make it special.

I'm hoping covid nonsense will allow for the traditional party in school after the big mass. If it does turn out to be smaller masses andno party like the last 2 years then it will be fine. The main point is the sacrament.

I was in the same position as you - DH (Irish Catholic, me CofE and with eyes on the great local Catholic primary school).
DH, raised in Ireland, had had a huge party etc and so we had a dinner in a naive restaurant after the church.
I also did specially wrapped chocolate bars as a souvenir () after seeing the extortionate price of them on the internet!
We also had a cake.