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Original poster

How did you celebrate your DC's First Holy Communion?

45 replies

Usual2usual · 24/08/2021 11:36

So DS will have his first communion next year. I'm not Catholic (DH is) so while I did know it was a big deal I don't quite think I understood the extent of the celebrations involved. DH just casually mentioned the other day how 'everyone' has big parties etc.

So I've looked into it and so many people from school have already booked church halls/hotel function rooms/restaurants to hold massive family parties (everyone around here seems to have large extended families) and I'm now confused about what to do because we don't have close extended families or loads of friends so this isn't an option for us. It will be DH and I, DD and probably MIL and FIL.

I feel bad that DS will miss out on what all his other friends are having and want to still make the day special.

How did you celebrate your DC's communions - has anyone just done something small?

OP posts:

M0rT · 24/08/2021 19:23

I'm in Ireland and was at a communion party at the weekend.
There is a wide range of ways to celebrate even here where there are loan sharks gouging people over it.
Most common options are immediate family, godparents, grandparents out for a meal and maybe a day out the next day or following weekend.
The day out could be to a park, beach etc doesn't have to be something you pay for just something the child who made their communion wants to do.
Other most common option is party in a house with homemade buffet and a cake, maybe a bouncy castle and extended family and friends invited.
People with money and people who borrow money host a party in hotel/restaurants/clubs etc.
When I made mine, a long time ago now, we were most jealous of the girl in our class who got to go horse riding

MumofSpud · 24/08/2021 19:27

Oh I forgot at one (if the many) meetings is parents had to go to with the priest, we were told that whilst girls had to wear the whole white dress / outfit, boys were to expected to wear their school uniform - there was a near riot (the uniform was just a school jumper not even a smart blazer).
The priest had underestimated the boys' parents' desire to also choose and buy an overpriced outfit!

Givemeallthegin8 · 24/08/2021 19:28

I’m in Ireland so communions can be huge here!
We have a big sit down meal and entertainment for 50 booked for dds communion. Might sound crazy but communions are a big deal over here.

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reluctantbrit · 24/08/2021 19:53

We had a party with family coming from all over the country. Lunch in a restaurant after the ceremony and then home with cake and a cold buffett for dinner.

I think that was the norm then.

I do think it is the ceremony which counts but I see it as weddings, you do what you want to do to celebrate and what you can afford.

Friends are catholic and both girls had their First Communion with a big family party and then later they invited friends for a BBQ at home.

DoAsYouWouldBeMumBy · 24/08/2021 19:59

We live an hour or two away from our extended family, so invited the main people to our town for the weekend (put some of them in hotels). We had a family dinner in one hotel the night before, then a big lunch at the poshest restaurant after the Holy Communion, then just chilled out afterwards. Adults had drinks and nibbles in the garden in the evening. There were only eight of us, but it was so great. It was the last time my lovely aunties were able to travel to visit, so it's a precious memory.

Panicmode1 · 24/08/2021 20:09

For each child who took theirs (3 of the 4) we just had a lunch with both sets of grandparents and the godparents and asked the priest too -we probably had around 15-20 people. Each DC got presents and a fuss made of them, but we didn't go crazy.

GintyMcGinty · 24/08/2021 20:14

I am also not catholic (DH is) so it was all new to me.

My first was had his pre-covid. After the service the school organised a tea party in the church hall.

My daughter's is in a few weeks and we still don't know what the arrangements are. The church should be fine but the school are still under covid regulations (Scotland) so we think that is what the hold up is.

I am therefore planning to have all the family back to our house for a tea party there. Planning a cold buffet that can all be prepped before we go out.

Other thing to note is that relatives are expected to give the child cash gifts. That was worth letting all my protestant/atheist relatives know about in advance so they weren't embarrassed in front of my catholic inlaws.

Geamhradh · 24/08/2021 20:15

Also the non-Catholic in the family (and non married, non Italian but living in Italy )
We had close relatives for lunch at an agriturismo. Then wondered round the picturesque local port with friends taking photos. Frock was from Monsoon (as were shoes and headband) and whole shebang cost me about £40 delivered.
All the kids from dd's catechism class then had a big party in the parish hall the following week. It was great.

Geamhradh · 24/08/2021 20:16

Dd's gifts were all jewellery as is the custom here. (it's moved onto technology tbf in the intervening years)

Original poster

Usual2usual · 24/08/2021 20:17

I'm thinking we will probably do dinner then a nice day out the next day.

DH will happily sort something he just had the huge party so now its just us he feels as bad as me that it isnt an option for DS. We literally know about 5 people between us (and none of them have children to be able to invite other kids there.)

The irony is really that we both come from big families, mine in particular is massive, but due to various dramas over the years no one speaks to each other. Plus my family are protestant and wouldn't attend any catholic occassion (West of Scotland).

OP posts:

MrsPumpkinSeed · 24/08/2021 20:22

We have communion soon.
Caterers - curry, salmon and salad etc at home and a bouncy castle.
About 25 people (aunts uncles and cousins along with grandparents)

turkeyboots · 24/08/2021 20:34

A bouncy castle is almost obligatory in Ireland. They are booked out over a year ahead. That and a family do. It's great social occasion and hnd increasingly has very little to do with religion.

IHateCoronavirus · 24/08/2021 20:37

All my family were in Ireland and I was just us in England. We went to a theme park for the day and it was brilliant fun. I got a special outfit to wear (other than the dress) I felt really happy.

Brissiegirl · 27/08/2021 07:21

I'm in Ireland too and have to say it makes me laugh when people say communions arr massive here, obligatory to have big parties, etc. I'd say it's 50/50 whether it's bouncy castles with big parties vs family get togethers with a house party or restaurant meal. All ours had family party in back garden - it was as much an excuse to have mid year family get together as anything else. With Covid this year, one niece had g/parents to the garden with lunch & cake. Everyone was happy especially the child.

Brissiegirl · 27/08/2021 07:25

Btw, I don't think there are any big group this year yet in Ireland. My niece went to an ordinary Sunday mass with parents and I believe the priest just made her a small extra announcement that it was her first time.

eew1988 · 27/08/2021 07:46

My daughter’s was prior to COVID. The parish put on tea and biscuits in the hall, on gran made a cake for everybody, had photos etc then we went somewhere “nice” for lunch as our family is rather small.

daisybrown37 · 27/08/2021 07:50

First DC - we had family back to ours for a buffet lunch. It was a joint birthday celebration with the youngest.

Second DC - during lockdown, so it was only immediate family - we ordered a takeaway lunch for the four of us!

Timeforachangetoday12 · 27/08/2021 07:51

With both my girls we’ve done a simple garden party for family and friends. Food, Pimms and a cake :)

Some families did a joint party together or some just went for a family meal. I don’t think it matters.

When I had my own we had a party as a whole class in the school hall with all the close family used to be quite an event! Shame that doesn’t seem the thing anymore.

Farevalah · 27/08/2021 08:09

When I made mine my parents did a big garden party for friends and family, that was nearly 40 years ago though 😩
When DD made hers, we went out for a meal for us , grandparents and close family only.
When DS made his we had another restaurant booked but DS was poorly so after the mass we came home and cancelled the party.

I believe a lot of schools just have the children in their school uniforms now rather than big dresses or suits. DM attends mass each week and when it’s FHC time some of the parents hire limos or a horse and carriage, huge expensive dresses etc which seems rather ott.

badlydrawnbear · 27/08/2021 08:44

We invited family to a buffet after DD's. We had to have it in a venue because our house isn't big enough, but it wasn't a nice venue, just a large meeting room in a building over the road from our house. My sister-in-law made a cake. Gifts were jewellery, money, books, decorative keepsakes like picture frames, a jewellery box. After a long search, we got her dress from Matalan for less than £30 because it was the one she preferred out of the few white not ivory options I could find, but I am aware of people who paid hundreds. I am hoping DD2 will wear the same dress in a couple of years.
When I did mine we had a family party at home, because my parents' house is big enough for that.

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